Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 19
  1. #1
    Expert Forum User flamingogirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Oakridge
    Posts
    2,665
    Rep Power
    135

    Default Not sure how to deal with this

    Our DD is 4 and we will be homeschooling starting in the fall. What I'm finding lately is that when we're out and about, lots of people are starting to ask DD "so are you going to school soon?" or "oh, are you excited about going to school now that you're 4?"

    We've talked a bit about it and I've explained to her that some kids go to school in a building, and some kids do school at home...or something to that effect. The problem is, now that everyone keeps asking or talking to her about it, she is now saying she wants to go to school. She used to be excited to do school with mommy at home, but now she's saying she doesn't want to stay home and wants to GO to school.

    I know these people are well-meaning and are just making conversation (usually retail workers or checkers at the grocery store, that kinda thing), but it's almost like the comments are sabotaging my excitement and the way DD is thinking about school!

    Any thoughts or ideas? For those that have BTDT, how did you deal with this? I feel like I was prepared to deal with family naysayers because I expected that, but this is a completely unanticipated aspect of the decision to homeschool!
    Last edited by flamingogirl; 06-29-2011 at 01:00 PM.
    Mama to TWO little sweetie pies!!







  2. #2
    Expert Forum User

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    SOHO and Somewhere between here and there.
    Posts
    4,411
    Rep Power
    241

    Default

    I haven't BTDT, but what about meeting up with someone else that homeschools around your DD's age? That way she feels like she's not the only one/missing out on something (when ofcourse she's not, but if she feels that way).

    FWIW: I like your explanation of how some go to school in a building and others at home!

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    10,772
    Rep Power
    608

    Default

    I find that I don't have this (from my DD's, we do get the questions), but I think the reason is why is because so many ppl we know HS. 3 of my siblings, my SIL, my sisters IL's and we also have some HS friends. I make sure I point out when we go to HS events that all those kids are HS'd too.

    For retail ppl, I would just say yourself until she does that your going to home school. It won't be long before she pipes up that she is starting home school in the fall.

    So in short, I think if you get your DD around other HS'ers that this will not be an issue at all.

    If you ever want to get together with the kiddies let me know. I have a 6(girl) , 4year old(girl) and a baby girl. I met you at the one HS picnic a couple years back (not sure if you remember or not) .
    Last edited by my2babies; 06-29-2011 at 01:33 PM.

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    lhastie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Back in Ontario!!
    Posts
    12,511
    Rep Power
    562

    Default

    We're starting to get questions and she'd just be going to JK. We're not sending her to JK and likely not SK. We'll see where life takes us to see where things go from there. I agree, I can't believe the number of people who bring it up to young children. Everyone talks about it so much she seems keen - this from the same little person who insists there aren't daycares here so she can't go to one like she did in Illinois Guess she hasn't caught on that it is a similar concept :P

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    doulamom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    13,496
    Rep Power
    576

    Default

    Just posting so I remember to come back and reply. We went through this as well and in fact are going through it again. I will be back!
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

    Need a doula or prenatal classes? www.babeezeinarms.com

    "Me thinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow."
    - Henry David Thoreau

    "
    Children are not our own art products to be turned out well, but their own life work in continual process.” -Jan Fortune Wood"

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User flamingogirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Oakridge
    Posts
    2,665
    Rep Power
    135

    Default

    DM I was hoping you'd chime in with all your wisdom! I'll be back later too!
    Mama to TWO little sweetie pies!!







  7. #7
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ingalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    london
    Posts
    22,762
    Rep Power
    1245

    Default

    DD is of age for JK this fall and isn't going. She may not go to SK either, as I've been observing it more lately and noticed I really don't like the setup of it afterall. So, she may just go right into grade one if she wants to go at all.
    Everyone is asking her, too. I haven't told her we're homeschooling because really, I don't think JK or SK are actually important anyway - what they learn there is no different than what she's already picking up at home, and we don't do curriculuums, so to me it's just...living, y'know?
    But I have taken to telling people a simple “We don't believe JK is good for everybody.“
    and letting them take that as they will.
    Lately though, when they ask dd, she will shriek, hug my leg, and say No no I don't want to go! So people probably think she's over clingy and I should send her lol. Oh well.

    If you find that they are interested in school but it's really not in your plan for them, sometimes just having something regular to attend - a playgroup weekly, or a homeschooling group, or brownies or something- and having some of the 'stuff' (picking out a new pencil case, maybe some markers, etc) can really nip that in the bud.
    It's really more the novelty than the school itself, I found.
    Even choosing some new clothes together, 'for fall', might hlep. Not saying you HAVE to give in to the buying side of it...but, it does seem to be part of the appeal.
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
    "I will remember you." July/10
    Baby Elaina born October 28th, 2011. Making every single day that much more special.
    INTERESTED IN BUYING DVDS OF OLD KIDS' SHOWS. Mr.Rogers', Mr.Dressup, Polka Dot Door, etc

  8. #8
    Moderator The Ultimate London Mom!
    ChinUp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    LesBotLand
    Posts
    14,709
    Rep Power
    1418

    Default

    What about setting up a “school“ room or area. So she has someplace to go to in your house? Do like an unveiling in September on the first day.

    Or reply with - school is exciting, I can't wait to teach you lots of awesome stuff! And then ramble on about all the great stuff you're gonna do.
    Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

    ~ Breastfed for 7 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ~

  9. #9
    Expert Forum User flamingogirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Oakridge
    Posts
    2,665
    Rep Power
    135

    Default

    Yeah she was all excited to do “school at home“, especially since her baby brother is home and she really enjoys him. I really think this whole “I want to go to school“ thing is recent because she's heard so many people lately talk about it-like literally, it's been about a dozen encounters in the last week or so.

    I realize she's only 4.5 and will likely change her mind again once the novelty has worn off, or at least I hope so! I really like all the ideas you guys are throwing my way about both how to talk to her about it, but also how to respond to those that bring up going to school. Keep the ideas coming!
    Mama to TWO little sweetie pies!!







  10. #10
    Junior Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Kitchener
    Posts
    673
    Rep Power
    81

    Default

    What about not specifically addressing not going to school, but when fun things come up, say things like “isn't it great you don't have to go to school next year, so we'll still be able to do things like this?“ We don't homeschool, and I can tell you there is a ton of jealousy from my sk child over what her younger sister gets to do while she's at school...
    Last edited by mom2girls; 06-29-2011 at 09:02 PM.
    Kristina - mom of 4 girls

  11. #11
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ingalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    london
    Posts
    22,762
    Rep Power
    1245

    Default

    Yeah, mine has really noticed she gets a lot of perks by being with me all the time. Not just one on one time, but outings to see friends or trips to the mall, library, restaurants. Way more time at parks and splashpads. I like to think he's enjoying his days, too, because he's very social (mostly the only reason he's in school) and likes playing with his friends, gym class, music, etc. But I know she sees it as “Hmm. We leave him there, then the fun begins. Yeah, I'm staying with you, Mommy!“ lol.

    I have tried not to talk down about school, as ds does go and she might one day, too, but I've reassured her no, you're not going to jk and tonight she came up almost in tears saying “mommy I'm not going to sk, right? No sk right?“ so I said “Not if you don't want to go, no.“

    In the meantime, today alone at school dismissal I bet ten people asked me or her if she was going in september. Eventually she just started giving them dark glaring looks and I started answering “No. We don't see a point in jk.“
    It shuts them up fast, even if it's offensive to some lol.
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
    "I will remember you." July/10
    Baby Elaina born October 28th, 2011. Making every single day that much more special.
    INTERESTED IN BUYING DVDS OF OLD KIDS' SHOWS. Mr.Rogers', Mr.Dressup, Polka Dot Door, etc

  12. #12
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    doulamom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    13,496
    Rep Power
    576

    Default

    It is hard to deal with because school culture is everywhere. What helped us was hanging out with friends who homeschool. My kids really wanted to see that there were others like them. We also point out all the good things about homeschooling quite directly. The rest of the culture wages a school propoganda campaign so I figure it is legit for me to do the same. I try not to diss school that much but I do point out the drawbacks often.

    My DD went through this phase when she was in JK. Recently she started to express it again. It comes from watching TV and hanging with schooled kids. She wants to fit in and is tired of being different. I totally get that. I am trying to help her see how we all feel that at different times and that while we want to fit in, it is more important to know how to be ourselves. It is funny because she gets a lot of support from the schooled kids she meets. They tell her that they think it is cool that she is homeschooled and that she is super lucky so it isn't as if they are making fun of her. I am still in the thick of how to address it with her fully but at your child's age when they are still young, I would seek out books, movies etc that don't have a lot of school references. They are out there.

    There is also a Not Going Back to School picnic for homeschoolers in Sept. It is nice because on the first day that all the other kids go back to a classroom we go to the park, play games and hang out at the splashpad with other homeschoolers. This gets them excited and it highlights the freedom they have.

    If you think the school messages are strong now, wait for August. The going back to school crap is everwhere and it is overwhelming.
    Last edited by doulamom; 06-30-2011 at 07:05 AM.
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

    Need a doula or prenatal classes? www.babeezeinarms.com

    "Me thinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow."
    - Henry David Thoreau

    "
    Children are not our own art products to be turned out well, but their own life work in continual process.” -Jan Fortune Wood"

  13. #13
    Expert Forum User

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Strathroy
    Posts
    4,033
    Rep Power
    236

    Default

    I have not BTDT but I read a lot of homeschooling blogs that can give you some great ideas on how to handle this sort of situation. Just google homeschool blog and you'll get tonnes.
    Jodie
    Mom to 3 boys (9, 7 and 4) &
    our little girl (born Dec 2013)
    www.brightmindschildcare.ca
    www.jodie.lovablelabels.ca

  14. #14
    Senior Member forestenchanted's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,499
    Rep Power
    126

    Default

    This is the beginning flamigogirl lol.

    seriously though, it really is.

    The others have given great advice, I have found that my own enthusiasm for not going to school and my confidence in that choice for my children helps them to have the same mentality. My children are not shy to tell strangers that they are homeschooled, this is a part of our life and they enjoy sharing it.

    There will be store clerks who look down at you like 'why are they not in school today?' but you will get used to it lol. I find people treat us differently during summer vacation and pd days, it really hits home the difference when the kids are 'supposed' to be in school.

    I do celebrate our choice to homeschool and definitely the not going back to school party is important in our household. So are pajama days, snow days and beach days

  15. #15
    Expert Forum User flamingogirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Oakridge
    Posts
    2,665
    Rep Power
    135

    Default

    Thanks so much you guys...makes me feel so much better to hear your perspective!

    We do have quite a few friends who are planning to homeschool, so hopefully we'll be hanging out more often once that starts in the fall. Many of DD's friends are a bit younger than her, and they may or may not go to school-many of their families are on the fence.

    I do know about the picnic-we actually went a few years ago when DD was a baby! We will def. plan on going this year so she can see there are lots of other kids doing the same thing.

    I think if I just play up the perks, she will eventually catch on. But you guys are right, I never realized how DRENCHED our culture is with school stuff! It's everywhere! Gives me another reason to be a bit more picky about what she watches and sees for sure.

    Somebody needs to come up with a Treehouse show with homeschooled kids....although maybe Max and Ruby count since they seem to be home a lot??
    Mama to TWO little sweetie pies!!







Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Not sure how to deal with this
    By mrs_williams in forum Child Care Providers
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-29-2011, 08:54 PM
  2. has anyone else had to deal with this?
    By hockeymomof3 in forum Step-parenting
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 11-16-2009, 07:37 PM
  3. here's the deal
    By JKPLJ in forum Home & Garden
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 07-13-2008, 08:07 PM
  4. What's the deal with VV?
    By myrrah in forum Natural Family Living
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-16-2007, 03:55 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •