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  1. #16
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    I think you are in the thick of it right now and it sounds as if sleep deprivation is the biggest issue. Perhaps you could put a movie on for your oldest at some point during the day while the baby is napping and catch some more sleep? My oldest was still napping when my 2nd came (19mths apart) and I would nap everyday while they both slept - I think this was key for me.

    I think in general it does get easier and although that isn't all the helpful for right now, perhaps knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel will make things a little bit more manageable. Just know you are not alone.
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

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  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtneyH View Post
    I found co-sleeping for the first 3 months let us both get sleep. I think it saved my sanity. Initially I said I wouldn't do it but with me the baby slept 8 hours straight.
    This is the only thing that kept me going as well.

  3. #18
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    My youngest is now 8 months, and my oldest almost 4yrs. I remember all too well what you are going through, especially since I am not a napper (always feel worse after a nap). I founf the 6week mark easier. Once 6 weeks came, I had more control of what was happening. It was hard but I had to let stuff go.... If the bathroom didn't get scrubbed this week.... oh well.... If I only did 1 load of laundry in a day... YEAH ME.... I concentrated on the baby, me and Madeline, my hubby had to fend for himself a bit

    Just take it one day at a time, your body has gone through a lot in the last year, mentally, physically and hormonely, just know you are NOT alone.

  4. #19
    Senior Member Madie&Logan's Mom's Avatar
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    My gosh! You have a 3week old? I know I was still recovering from the labor even at that point.

    (((hugs)))
    ~Christine~

    Mom to Madison Anne (5) and Logan Douglas (2)

  5. #20
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    Hugs to you! It is tough at the beginning! I also did all the night feedings, and rarely napped during the day. My son was 17 months-old when DD was born, so it's not like I could just shut my eyes for a few minutes. As PP have mentioned, co-sleeping for the first couple months seemed to help. Eating well ( I know... kinda hard to prepare meals), walking, just taking care of yourself will help you feel better. If you have family and friends that can help with at least the household chores, that can take a bit of stress of your back too. You're not alone in your feelings! Soon you will get into a routine, baby will grow, and you'll forget how hard it was! Well maybe not forget (LOL), but at least feel better!!!
    Take care!

  6. #21
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    I don't really have any advice that has not already been touched on so I thought I'd just send along some sleep vibes for your new LO...
    When I brought #3 home I had a 18 month old and a 6 year old... like the others have said it does seem all kind of in a haze for me now... all I can say is that it does get better, a lot better.

  7. #22
    Junior Member funkymom's Avatar
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    I can totally understand I have 2 teething babies, a 3 year old and at least my oldest is at school during the day!!
    I will put a movie in for our 3 year old if I am exhaused and the babies are sleeping - yes I feel like I'm being lazy, but your kids need you to feel somewhat 'normal'
    You will get through, it won't last forever and remember to enjoy what you can, they don't stay little for long!!
    Overachieving underachiever

  8. #23
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    It gets better just hang in there. We have all been there and it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel but there is trust me I found it. Coffee was my life saver too so dont feel bad and the baby will let you know when its food time.

  9. #24
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    Thanks for all the advice. Last night I was able to go out with some friends and just hang out which was a nice break. I think today I may put that movie on for my other son and veg. I just have to tell myself that the cleaning can wait, I have become really anal about it lately. We have a dog so I want to make sure all the hair is always cleaned up. Tonight DH is going to get up with the baby since he doesn't work tomorrow but I know I will still wake up cause I will hear the baby.

  10. #25
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    Thats the way. The cleaning will still be there later. Give yourself the break everyone needs it. See the light is at the end of the tunnel sometimes it takes time to find it. Take care.

  11. #26
    Junior Member funkymom's Avatar
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    OMG leave the cleaning sometimes!! You need to take care of youself!! It will get done eventually.
    Overachieving underachiever

  12. #27
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    I'm going through the same situation, have a 3 year old and a 1 month old. Im pretty anal about cleaning to so no help there but I wanted to add getting out of the house has been a huge help. Playgroups early years etc. keeps my oldest occupied and the drive over puts the baby to sleep. It also makes the day go by faster which at this point brings us one day closer to sleeping through the night!
    Cole is 8 years old! January, 2005
    Nate is 5 years old! January, 2008
    Judah is 2 years old! October, 2010
    Avery Grace born & passed Feb 4, 2007.

    "Why did I not know that birth is the pinnacle where women discover the courage to become mothers?"
    Anita Diamant (The Red Tent)

  13. #28
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    Carol, your kids have close birthdays like me. The 4 year old was born Jan 11 and the new one was Jan 18

  14. #29
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    Have you considered hiring a cleaning service, even just to get you through the first few months?

  15. #30
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    I was very focused on the cleaning too and found myself running ragged because of it. I can understand this totally. It got worse when I was home full time on MAT leave, for some reason, and developed a fair bit of anxiety over it. I ended up hiring someone to come in every two weeks and do a full cleaning. For me it was my saving grace, as I could let a lot slide knowing that "Oh well, someone is coming on Tuesday anyhow!!!" Prior to this I couldn't justify paying someone to do what I could do better, but it ended up being more than worth the money to stop obsessing about it. Maybe even a teen or university student would consider doing it for a short term.

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