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  1. #1
    Junior Member MasonsMommy's Avatar
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    Default To find out or not find out??

    I'm having a big internal debate.
    We didn't find out the sex with our first one, and from the beginning I thought I didn't want to find out with this one either, but the more I think the more I wonder if I should find out.
    DH really wants to know, I know it'll be easier to weed through all Masons clothes and get prepared with the nursery and such.
    The thing that worries me is I loved the anticipation while I was pushing to find out if Mason was a boy or a girl, I'm afraid that if I find out what this baby is the anticipation is over and I'm afraid I'll be disappointed somehow. I don't care either way if its a boy or a girl as long as its healthy.

    So I guess what I'm asking is what made you decide if you wanted to find out and if you did were you disappointed or did you regret it after?



  2. #2
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    We didn't find out with our first and we are not finding out with this pregnancy either. I found I was torn, there were lots of times when I just thought it would be easier to know, but it is an amazing feeling when the doctor says "its a boy!". My brother and his wife are expecting a week after us and they really wanted to find out the sex but now that they know my brother said he is kind of disappointed now that he does know. The anticipation, even though it can drive one crazy, is worth the wait!
    DS#1 Dec 06
    DS#2 May 08
    DD#1 Oct 09
    DD#2 Dec 10

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    I don't feel knowing spoiled either of my births.

    The first time I saw each of them, I was in awe and amazement.

    Its a personal choice, and I wish you luck in you decision!

  4. #4
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    I was not disappointed whatsoever with knowing what DD was. When we found out it, was just as exciting at 20 weeks than it would have been at birth IMO. At her birth, it was just as exciting to hear "it's a girl" and to see what she looked like. I don't think not knowing the gender would have helped me push more while in labour at all! I LOVED being able to call her by name in utero and of course being able to shop gender specific was so much fun!! I loved being able to tell people what the baby was and her name, etc. before I had her. I feel like knowing made me more excited!
    I cannot wait to find out the gender of this little one! Hurry up March 10th!!!! (assuming it shows itself)
    Best of luck in whatever you choose.

  5. #5
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    i wanted to know soo bad what the sex was , and it took 32 weeks to find out because logan kept hiding himself, but it was fun till then , if you arent sure , and you know you will be going for another u/s around 30+ weeks wait till then to decied



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  6. #6
    Expert Forum User ali's*mum's Avatar
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    I loved knowing that Ali was a girl while I was pregnant! We were able to name her and talk to her using her name.
    When I was pushing, to be honest, I didn't care if the baby was a boy, girl or a monkey. I just wanted the damn thing out
    There's no way I would have lasted nine months not knowing. I would have been beating down my Dr's door in the middle of the night demanding he tell me.

    If you feel you "should" find out, then don't do it. If you "want" to find out, then do it. You won't be disappointed in any way 'cause at the end of the day you'll still be anticipating the birth of your child!
    Mom to Ali (3) & Eva (1)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
    I don't feel knowing spoiled either of my births.

    The first time I saw each of them, I was in awe and amazement.

    Its a personal choice, and I wish you luck in you decision!
    I totally agree! However I think it would be awesome to be surprised in the delivery room. Now that I have one of each, if we do have another I probably wouldn't find out.

  8. #8
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    I felt it was a surprise either in the middle or the end. I am planning to find out again this time, because if it's a boy I am going to need to shop.

    I think I'd like to be surprised for the last one though. For something different.




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    At first I wanted to know. I just felt like we would be able to plan things a little better if we knew. But DF totally didn't want to know. And the more I thought about it, the more I decided not to find out. I wouldn't have found out anyway because of DF not wanting to know. I wouldn't have been able to keep it to myself if I did. I ended up loving the fact that we didn't know! I thought we were having a boy the whole time, and we ended up with a girl! Biggest surprise ever!

  10. #10
    Expert Forum User Wendy's Avatar
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    We didn't find out with our DS, we really wanted the surprise. With DD we did find out cause I wanted to be "prepared" if it was a girl...just so she wouldn't be wearing all blue for a while! I am so glad we found out with DD cause we named her and got all sorts of pink frilly things for her!!! It was just as exciting to us as if we had kept it a surprise.

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    You know how I feel!
    I get impatient thinking about you patient people waiting to find out. I want to know, find out just for me

    It didn't spoil it one bit for me. It is like an early suprise finding out because there are so many other suprises after they are born, like what they look like, how they sleep (they don't of course) and every day there are new suprises. I loved knowing what both my boys were so I could name them and talk about them rather than say "it"!

  12. #12
    Expert Forum User Becks's Avatar
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    I knew that both of my boys were boys...like others have said you are ablt to figure out a name (most times) I felt knowing the name was like being able to bond even more...I dont know how to explain it....You talkto them in untero with their name and it like they are sitting on you lap (while they are but or mine wre that low that tey sat on my lap) but It's just so hard to explain...Its not that I am saying you dont bond not knowing of course you do but when you know what you are having it is just so amazing..I guess I am just rambling.....I loved knowing beacsue I was able to shop with a gender in mind rather than neturel colours clothing...If you know what I mean...Okay and if any one can figure out what I am trying to say please let me know because I am pretty sure I have lost myself...lol
    Becky Mom to X and C

  13. #13
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    I would have wanted to know, but DH really wanted to wait, so we did. I think there are arguments for and against, and it can only be a personal decision.

    Bear in mind though - even when you 'find out' they're not always accurate. I know an Oliver who was 'supposed' to be Olivia!

  14. #14
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    We just found out again for this one and I don't regret it at all!! I feel like I have really started to bond with her - getting her room ready, picking a name, getting out clothes - it feels so real now that we know she's a girl! I was completely surprised at the dr.'s office - I started crying! It's super exciting, no matter when you find out.

  15. #15
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    I did not find out with my first 2 but really wanted too....my family Dr was not telling!!
    I had a midwife with Noah and found out. It did not change the anticipation or desire to find out who he looked like for me

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