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  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! Mommy2Cuties's Avatar
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    Talking Blonde Jokes - hilarious

    No offense to you blondes out there but these are good.


    DISNEYLAND

    Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate
    when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and
    turned around and went home.

    FLORIDA OR MOON

    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
    blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
    the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see
    Florida ?????'

    CARTROUBLE

    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the Mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    She says, 'What's the story?'
    He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
    She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

    SPEEDING TICKET

    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
    could see her license.
    She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
    Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show
    it to you!'

    RIVER WALK

    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
    blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the
    other side?'
    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
    'You ARE on the other side.'

    AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
    body hurt wherever she touched it.
    'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
    she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
    screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
    made her scream.
    The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
    'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
    'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

    KNITTING

    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
    at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
    knitting!
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
    trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL
    OVER!'
    'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

    BLONDE ON THE SUN

    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
    The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
    The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
    The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The
    Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
    'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
    To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
    night!'

    IN A VACUUM

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She
    rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If
    you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She
    thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

    FINALLY,

    THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
    asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
    named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of
    someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde.
    'They're watch dogs'!
    I stole Turtle's Lollipop! xoxo

    Nicole, mama to Miss A (April 2005), Miss K (Sept 2007), Angel Baby (August 2008), and Baby A (June 2009)


  2. #2
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    mrs_williams's Avatar
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    Lol!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    MplusCequalsMx3c:'s Avatar
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    lol
    Three busy boys and one lovely little lady!

  4. #4
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    so true and sad story...just now reading these I actually read this one
    “IN A VACUUM

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She
    rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If
    you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She
    thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'“


    and thought to myself, well thats an honest question.lol I had to read it 3 times before I got it and yes I am blonde

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mhuigenbos View Post
    so true and sad story...just now reading these I actually read this one
    “IN A VACUUM

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She
    rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If
    you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She
    thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'“


    and thought to myself, well thats an honest question.lol I had to read it 3 times before I got it and yes I am blonde
    I just went back to blonde and that must be why I don't get it haha, seriously
    tough times don't last but tough people do

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User bacon's Avatar
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    Default They'rrre grrrreat!

    Sounds like this one blonde I knew who wanted me to come over and help put together a puzzle of a tiger that was spilled all over the floor. It broke my heart to tell them to just put the Frosted Flakes back in the box.


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