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  1. #16
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    I don't see anything negative towards anyone in the OP, I don't know who anyone is IRL. I don't see the need to drag drama of any sort in considering you are just looking for advice, and certainly not bashing of any sort. Even for those who knew the families directly, had it not been mentioned in the posts the rest of us would not have known...maybe next time a simple PM to the OP or mom would suffice.

    I would wish that the many 'moms' DD has brought in and out of her life would stop to ask of what I would think of things they do....I think its a good step in the right direction.

    However it also seems the concern has been directly responded to and its nice to see that no matter what there is some communication...its uncommon in my world.
    A by the book mama to a completley healthy DD Dec.2002 and doing it all different, BWng, CDing, BLWing, crunchy mama to an equally healthy DS Nov.2008 apparently a cosleeping mama DS Aug. 2011

  2. #17
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    I don't see anything wrong with your original post! I think it's great that you've come to another group of moms seeking some assistance...I really don't think you've done anything wrong considering that everything has been done on your DH's normal visits with his children.

    Please don't let any of these Women get under your skin! You don't deserve that.
    Catherine
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    July 2006 & January 2008

  3. #18
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    Stepparentings a hard pill to swallow some days. I love my DSS as one of my own and honestly it was the best pregnancy ever lol. But it leaves you in a lurch on knowing what to do. Sometimes going right to the mom can be the wrong choice but since she gave you the green light to go ahead with it I would. Not always the easiest thing for either of you but likely best for the relationship to work well. Its when you cant communicate effictively that you really have to start wondering wth do I do now.

    GL with it all and dont be afraid to PM me.
    ...and in that moment I swear we were infinite.

  4. #19
    Senior Member hopefloats's Avatar
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    Coparenting is a huge responsibilty that requires communication. Call her and ask her what kinds of things she would like to be run by her. After all this is just the beginning, one day you will be picking out wedding dresses and decor and sitting at the same table. Dont wait, open the lines of communication now, IMO.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinsplus1 View Post
    No offence, but do you think you should post stuff like this?

    I have no idea who you are, but by reading what you wrote, I know exactly who your SO's ex is. Or maybe post anon, and don't mention that your stepdaughters are twins? Very identifying details, and if I was your SO's ex, I wouldn't be impressed by this post. Maybe something you should directly ask her instead?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tannaleigh View Post
    Anon would have been a good idea as well. I am pretty sure I know exactly who you are talking about.
    Quote Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
    i know.. but only because of when you first joined you had their pics in your signature and it was pointed out to me.. but without that, i could have figured it out too. lol

    anon would be a good idea

    Well I've been around a LONG time and certainly had no idea who she was talking about!

    It's times like this that I wish people would just leave well enough alone and not bother pointing it out. There was nothing wrong with the OP, she didn't mention any names and wasn't rude or bashing anyone at all. Bikruca's been a cheeser for years now and although she is absolutely welcome back it's not like blackrose would have necessarily even known who she was (maybe she did, I don't know!) Perhaps she wanted to talk to her but didn't know how and noticed that she was posting here again and thought it might open some dialogue or at least put it out there that she was trying to be respectful. If Bikruca had any issue with the post I'm sure she could have PM'd her to ask that she just give her a call or send a text or something.

    Blackrose I think it's nice that you want to make sure that you are being respectful of the Mom's position and I also see how it would be awkward being the Mom coming on here and reading that. I think it would have been less uncomfortable for both parties having some privacy around identities Would posting anon have helped? Maybe but I'm not really sure since people said it was obvious to them...not me though! LOL! I do know that ALOT less people would have known without others pointing it out.
    Leslie




  6. #21
    Expert Forum User bikruca's Avatar
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    Oh FFS. A cheeser? Did you *have* to go there?

    I didn't point out who I was. Several of my friends figured it out. And just because you don't think I was being slammed in that post, doesn't mean I feel comfortable having someone judge my involvement with my kids on a forum where I know people. The fact that I posted on here recently was pretty much a fluke.

    Maybe I should have just PM'ed her but I was *kinda* looking to kill the thread by outing myself and shuttin' it all down- because it's hella awkward watching an open discussion about how to deal with *me* IRL. I was pretty open that I am sometimes around on here, and know a lot of ppl on here, and have been with Blackrose from day one. Maybe I'm the only one who saw this coming if she talked about me... sorry.
    Heather.

    Push button. Receive bacon.

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikruca View Post
    Oh FFS. A cheeser? Did you *have* to go there?

    I didn't point out who I was. Several of my friends figured it out. And just because you don't think I was being slammed in that post, doesn't mean I feel comfortable having someone judge my involvement with my kids on a forum where I know people. The fact that I posted on here recently was pretty much a fluke.

    Maybe I should have just PM'ed her but I was *kinda* looking to kill the thread by outing myself and shuttin' it all down- because it's hella awkward watching an open discussion about how to deal with *me* IRL. I was pretty open that I am sometimes around on here, and know a lot of ppl on here, and have been with Blackrose from day one. Maybe I'm the only one who saw this coming if she talked about me... sorry.
    Oh I totally agree with you! I wasn't saying you did anything you shouldn't have. The fact that people had to point out who she was talking about is what annoys me. IMO it could have been handled much quieter without them pointing it ok. Like having you PM her in which case I would hope she would have edited the post. If she did know clearly that you are around still then yeah I gotta wonder why she posted it here instead of PM'ing or calling but who knows right? Maybe she wanted to put it out there so you would contact her? I don't know...doesn't really matter. I just don't think it's cool for other people to put that information out there. They could have just let you know about the post, which I“m sure they did and let you decide how to deal with it.
    Leslie




  8. #23
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    Actually I had no idea who 'Bikruca' was or that she was even on the site. After joining she contacted me and told me she had friends on here but I was under the impression from our conversation that she was no longer on here.
    If people wanted to throw out who it was, that's there prerogative not mine. Had I known she was around, or that people would make such drama out of my post I never would have posted it... Anon or otherwise. Also if I had I known her screen name and that she was indeed on here I would have PM'd her.
    I kinda hate the fact that now I feel I have to watch what I post on here. I don't want drama but somehow a post that was just me looking for advice got twisted into something else. Drama is something I cut out of my life after high school. I have no need for it now and I definably will do all I can to avoid it...
    Although I do want to say thanks for the support and helpful posts/PMs.

  9. #24
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    I found your post sweet, and nice with good intentions. I have no other 'stepmom' in the picture yet, but would love for her to be as concerned as you. And heck, if she can bake for my kids (as I could care less to), power to her. She just better bake extras for me!
    Last edited by gr8mommy; 02-26-2011 at 07:03 PM.
    Mommy to DS (Nov 2003)
    Mommy to DD (July 2006)
    Mommy to DD (May 2011)
    Mommy to DS (Dec 2012)

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