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  1. #1
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    Default Our Trial starts tomorrow - wish us luck! *Update in OP*

    Update: What a horrible day. We got the report at 7:50 am from the counceller that they secretly took J to on Saturday. Apparently he told the counceller he wants to live there and I am a horrible parent who yells and spanks him all the time, I don't ever play with him and I don't know how to have fun. He said the same things about DH, but not as harsh as about me. Then said his mom and step-dad are the most amazing people he knows, so he wants to live there instead. He even said that Evan is a horrible baby and cries all the time and is really annoying. He LOVES Evan, he will choose playing on the floor with Evan over playing DS. He always wants to help feed him. They have such a close bond already. Evan lights up when J walks in and J can make him roar with laughter just by looking at him. But, he had his Mom convincing him for hours before the appointment that all these horrible things are true.

    I was sick when I read it. He cries EVERY time he has to go visit his Mom. He tells us he doesn't want to go, EVERY SINGLE TIME. We don't spank him, ever. After talking to him about it this morning he started bawling and said they made him say it. He said they told him to tell the lady that we spank him, etc. He said he wanted to tell the lady he has fun with us, but knew his mom would be mad.

    We have her family on our side saying the boys are SO happy when they are with us and really quiet and reserved when they are with her. Her sister is testifying for us. We have his school saying that we are good parents and very involoved and J is a happy child.

    THEN they had pictures of alleged welts on his bottom from us spanking. It looks like a rash (he gets excema). WHY if your child has "welts" would you not call the police, call CAS, or take him to a hospital to document it? Instead they take pictures and that's that. Not bring it up at any court dates (about 10) that we've had in the last year, instead bring it up the morning of trial. How humiliating for Jerrith to have them taking pictures of his bare bottom when he is 11. The judge was not impressed about that. Our lawyer is going to send them to some forensic person to see if it looks like welts, which is doesn't.

    So now it was adjourned till the end of March and we have to get a full parenting assessment done for both parties and have J see a counceller more than once to see what his wishes are.

    We are looking at suing the counceller that saw J on Saturday. Even the judge said that it should have never been allowed without the consent of DH and the counceller should not have seen him at all. Not to mention, how does a counceller get to know a child in ONE HOUR and make such huge recommendations?

    My heart is broken for J that he gets these lies put in his head. THAT is the reason he dreads going there every other weekend. It must be exhausting to hear all this stuff, not to mention so stressful.

    Such a mess. Family court can get so messy and it is way too emotional and we have to much to lose, it's scary.



    ORIGINAL OP:


    I am so nervous today, I think I could be sick.

    Our trial starts tomorrow, the other side is trying to get it adjourned, but it's been going on for a year and the judge is fed up, so we will likely go tomorrow.

    The quick story is that DH has had J fulltime since he was 2 weeks old. He is now 11.5 years old and she finally decided she wants him to live there. He has ADHD and lots of learning disabilities and it would mean taking him from Stratford and moving to Kitchener. Every judge so far has said it's unlikely and every lawyer we have talked to, or that ours has consulted with, has basically laughed and said it will never happen.

    I have to testify tomorrow and I am so nervous. I am so worried about how they will try and paint us and the questions they will ask. Our lawyer said just tell the truth and we have absolutly nothing to worry about.

    J is there this weekend and they took him to a counceller yesterday without DH knowing to see where J wants to live, but our lawyer said they will not be able to use it for evidence (we have no idea what the report says, it wont be ready till tomorrow).

    J gets so upset every time he has to go visit his Mom, he hates going. The thought of losing him makes me so so sick. He's been here every day except every other weekend since DH and I met 7 years ago. The thought of only seeing him every other weekend makes me so sad.

    Even though every lawyer thinks its a 99.9% in our favour, there is always that chance.
    Last edited by Kaisa; 01-24-2011 at 01:55 PM.

  2. #2
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    good luck hun!!

  3. #3
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    Good luck, I hope everything goes smoothly and you can put this behind you.
    DS#1 Dec 06
    DS#2 May 08
    DD#1 Oct 09
    DD#2 Dec 10

  4. #4
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    Good luck...thinking of you...

  5. #5
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    Good luck! We will likely be heading to trail this year too! I feel for ya! Good luck with everything, but I dont think you'll need it! =)

  6. #6
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    Best wishes tomorrow.

  7. #7
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    Good luck tomorrow!
    Tiffany
    Mom to Ben, Jonathan and Zachary


  8. #8
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    Big breaths and you'll be just fine. NO ONE can take away how much you want and love him and everyone with the power to decide will see that.

    I'll be thinking huge good thoughts for you and your family tomorrow and hope it starts and ends quickly in your favour.

    Hugs to you and your DH and to J

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    Best wishes for tomorrow!
    ~LBG

  10. #10
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    ((((hugs))))) Good luck hun! We'll be thinking of you!
    Your life is a result of the choices you make, if you don't like your life it's time to start making better choices.

  11. #11
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    Good Luck tomorrow Kaisa!! I'm sure everything will go great.
    Mommy to DS Jan '06, DD July '09, DS Feb '11, DD Dec '12
    Wife to my wonderful DH of 8 years
    http://handsbetterfull.blogspot.com/

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    stressful times... Best of luck! - its tuff going through the motions and all, but your end is almost here. you'll be fine.
    Last edited by ratz; 01-23-2011 at 01:39 PM.

  13. #13
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    Best Luck tommorrow. Please when you have the time.....let us know how things went.
    NO NOISE IS BETTER THEN HEARING A CHILD'S LAUGHTER

  14. #14
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    Hoping everything goes well tomorrow.

  15. #15
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    Good Luck!!!








    “life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away“

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