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  1. #1
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    Default Did you have help with your twins?

    Wondering how many of you who have twins had help in the beginning? Did you hire a nurse or nanny? Did your mom, sister, mother-in-law etc come and stay with you for a bit?

    How long did you have help for?
    Do you have any other children at the time of having twins?

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    My oldest daughter was 19 months old when the twins were born.
    She stayed in full time daycare for a month after we had the twins. My husband was home for the first week and half after the babies were born - then went back to work.
    We had some help - not someone full time or anything, but my sister took our oldest for sleepovers - we had tons of people bring us meals.
    My mom would help whenever she could as she was working.

    Looking back - if I had to do it again, I would have asked for a lot more help

    They are now two and we rely a lot on family for help (usually babysitting etc) we are very fortunate to have them at that they will watch all three kids at once.

  3. #3
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    I would have hired a housekeeper, and not thought twice about it. Also, if people are willing, have them drop off frozen quick meals for you.

    If you do have someone helping you, have them help out with the house/laundry/food, and that way you can learn quickly how to care for two infants by yourself.

    Once you have your routine, having another person around can actually feel like more work at times, feeling like you have to feed/entertain them. Its scarey, but can definitely be done. You could think about after care doula help maybe? Also, if you are an LMBA member, a highschool student can earn some of their volunteer hours with you. The LMBA also has a contact with the nursing student program at Western, and they send students into your house.

  4. #4
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    The twins both came home at 3 weeks, DD within 20 hours immediately re-hospitalized for 2 weeks so both finally home at 5 weeks.

    So from 5 weeks old to 10 weeks old, my mom came over Monday to Friday from 5:30 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. She did the morning feed and let me sleep and get showered for the day. She was so much help during those weeks and help me get a routine established with the twins.

    My mom is coming next week for 2 weeks to help me with the twins while I take care of the baby. I hired a cleaning service this time that comes weekly, wish I had done that last time (though my mom helped with this a lot). I also wished I had planned better in the meal department. DH was good at getting dinner but it was getting lunch for myself that was difficult.

    I took all the help that I could get. My sister and dad would come over so I could have a shower or slip out to do an errand. I really miss having them literally a couple of blocks away. We have moved 30 minutes away since having the twins.
    Last edited by twinmommy; 01-01-2011 at 11:51 AM.

  5. #5
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    We had a few meals prepared for us by our old church but other than that we were on our own completely. My teen was 13 when our girls were born and it took 2 of us around the clock to take care of 2 colicky girls so it was tough. We managed though.

  6. #6
    Junior Member doubletroublemoms's Avatar
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    Nope.

    My partner's mom came and helped us out every afternoons for the first week...and then that was scaled back to once a week.

    But really, it was just me and my partner from day one.

  7. #7
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    No help. My husband and I managed somehow, its a blurr really. I remember not eating much ourselves though as one of us always had a baby in our arms feeding when we were together and then alone with the girls it was almost back to back feeding/changing/cuddling and trying to sleep a bit somewhere in there grabbing whatever food was quick to eat on the run. If I had of known I would have pre-cooked many frozen throw in the oven foods for us at least.
    I did hire a weekly cleaning service after a while when I finally figured out I could not possibly keep up.

  8. #8
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    My husband took 3 months of parental leave, in addition to me being a SAHM. Also, my MIL stayed with us for the first week, to help out with our two older kids.
    formerly Kathy

  9. #9
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    My twins are 3.5mths and were in the hospital for 3 weeks at birth which put them on a schedule, it was hard to leave them but looking back it really did help. I was alone the first week home then my mom helped for a week and DH was off the following week. Ever since I have been doing it alone, it is dufficult at times but you really do fall into a nice routine. I find getting up at night the hardest and have to force myself to go to bed when they do or shortly there after.

  10. #10
    Junior Member funkymom's Avatar
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    My husband took 5 weeks off in the beginning. Our other kids were 2.5 and 12 when the twins came, so it was a bit crazy, but you manage.
    Overachieving underachiever

  11. #11
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    Just our family, which is quite large . I did have extended
    Family and friends fill our freezer with meals and a neighbor came by to help with light house work for the first two weeks. I had the girls on Thursday and dh was back to work on the following Monday. It was really hard. Period. What got us through was lowering all expectations. I created small attainable goals for each day that way I felt accomplished. What began the turnaround for us was developing a nightshift schedule. I went to bed around 8 ish and Doug watched the twins until around 11pm. I then had them for the rest of the night. On the weekends I would sleep till 1ish. Having those large chunks of sleep made me feel human again. I also pumped instead of breastfeeding because in the beginning it was more streamlined and organized. I have a four part system when bringing a new being into the home. Following this system in order will enable you to parent more efficiently and allow you to enjoy every precious moment.

    1. Get help. Once you have arranged this you will be able to:
    2. Get sleep. When your help is around, go to bed! I looked at my day in a 24 hr cycle and aimed for a minimum of six hours within that 24. Once you begin to sleep better you can then:
    3. Get organized. Take you mind of trivial things like, what's for supper by scheduling weekly meal and chore plans. Now that you are organizEd you can:
    4. Get out! Its so important to take a break once in awhile. Getting out of the house with or without babies will really help clear your head and keep you objective.
    Last edited by Michelleshere; 01-08-2011 at 09:34 PM.
    Wife to Doug and Mother of
    Alex, Nick, Hanna, Mya, Madeline and twin sweethearts, Isabelle and Abigail
    Sewing Mei Tais for Canadian Mamas

  12. #12
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    Some ladies from the London Multiple Births Association were great for advice and emotional support. A friend popped in a couple of times so I could get a shower. DH had Daddy depression and was no help. The first year was really, really hard. I could only think 5 minutes at a time. Looking farther was too overwhelming. I hired a cleaner for twice a month basics when the twins were about 10 months old. Couldn't afford her but I had to have help. And I was breast feeding so sleep deprivation was a big problem.

    Having said that - I love my kids and don't regret having them at all. Just wish I could have had even a couple of the people who said they'd help follow through on their words. It's damaged a few relationships. If you're not going to help - shut up... just saying.
    Working mom who's also now a Mompreneur - check out my home business!

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/ange...47727408648438

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