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  1. #1
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    Default How do you deal with it all?

    I am just falling apart right now. This whole court thing is wearing me down so much.
    We were supposed to get the boys for Tues-Thurs this week before they come home for Christmas Morning. Our court order is written very weird for Christmas access. I promised Jerrith we will see him Tuesday when he was picked up on Friday because he was upset about having to go there for the weekend.
    Now they are fighting in court right now about how to interpret the court order, and apparently the boys should be with her straight through till Christmas morning. J will be gone for eight days straight. That's how many days he spends with her in an entire TWO month period (every other weekend).
    I'm just so upset. This whole trial thing is wearing me and breaking me down.
    I hate it. I hate sitting back and watching these boys be used as pawns in her games, when she has many many times in the past told people that her main goal is to give DH as little time as possible with the boys and to take away as much access whereever she can.

  2. #2
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    Sorry, I have no advice only ((hugs)). I don't understand people who use their children to “get back“ at the ex

  3. #3
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    that is so awful I really wish that parents could always just do what is in the best interest of their children so many times, you see the kids being used as pawns

    I hope things get worked out quickly


    Ha the judge ordered a childs lawyer yet?

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    sounds like she is still very much angry with your DH and usingthe boys to get back at him.....SHe really needs to put the boys first and what is best for them.
    NO NOISE IS BETTER THEN HEARING A CHILD'S LAUGHTER

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    I totally feel for you - 2 years have gone by and DH is still waiting for all the papers to be signed and enforced.
    I am also heading back to court with my own ex for being over 15K in child support arrears. =(

    It's the kids that take the brunt of it when parents act like idiots - and it's hard dealing with idiots (esp. on both sides!)

    If you ever need to talk PM me, I will send you my phone #.......I COMPLETELY understand.

    *Hugs*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tan5kids View Post

    Ha the judge ordered a childs lawyer yet?
    They tried and they wouldn't take the case.
    Then her lawyer was saying we agreed to hire a lawyer to represent the boys and split the cost. But we can hardly afford our own lawyer, let alone a second one for the boys. So we wouldn't have agreed to that.

    The judge last week said that unless she can prove a big change in circumstances then custody will not change. Her lawyer just stood there and said nothing. So the judge said when it goes to trial, not much will change. Except we will likely have a legal bill of over 10,000.

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    Quote Originally Posted by simpsongirl View Post
    sounds like she is still very much angry with your DH and usingthe boys to get back at him.....SHe really needs to put the boys first and what is best for them.
    They've been split up for 11 years. I don't think there is any chance she's ever letting go. Only 12 years till D is 18 and we don't have to ever deal with her again.

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    Oh gosh - the money part, I forgot about that too. Sorry it sucks all the way around, it will get better.

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    Hugs.....I have been through this and at points ex still uses kids to try to piss me off....well I have let it go. My kids are getting old enough and they can say what is on there mind now. GOOD LUCK to you and your DH.
    NO NOISE IS BETTER THEN HEARING A CHILD'S LAUGHTER

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    I feel you Kaisa. We are going back to court right now and she's telling us right now that pick up for Christmas will be at her grandparents not her parents this year (pick up and drop off is ALWAYS at her parents unless agreed otherwise which maybe has been a handfull of times in 3 years) and is saying well too bad if your not there you don't get him. Her grandparents are in a different town. So now DH has to get our lawyer to draft a letter this week saying no you agreed where drop off and pick up would be three years ago you need to stick with it. And everyone's right as stressful as it is on us to deal with all this crap because someone can't put their child ahead of themselves, the real toll is taken by the child. I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap too Kaisa and feel for your step boys.




  11. #11
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    *hugs* that really sucks!
    DH and dsd's mother have not been to court to have an agreement, thou they should (but we can't afford it).
    DSD's mother is saying we can't see dsd at all this xmas because they'll be too busy
    It's bad enough because dh works wknds and dsd is in school, and she lives in Toronto that we don't even have the option to have her everyother weekend (we have to drive there to get her, and drop her off too).. We only get holidays, march break and summer
    It sucks HUGE! I feel for you

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    So sorry to hear of so many other people out there dealing with “stupid“. This really sucks!!! I know I really hate it.. I can honestly say that I hate all holidays.. and I hate it even more that my kids are starting to feel the same way I do because of the levels of “stupid“. This is all so easily preventable.

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    I'm so sorry you're stressed. As a kid of divorce married to a divorced fella with an EX who has pulled b-sh*t I've seen lots.

    First thing you should do is ask for costs on a full indemnity basis - I'm surprised your lawyer hasn't added it to the motion or reply but talk about with him/her and add it right away if you can. The 'loser' in a case - including family law - must pay reasonable costs (on a sliding scale basis) to the 'winner' for the legal fees of taking the issue to court.

    I'm just back from being away and don't have time for much more but to say again I'm sorry

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