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  1. #1
    Senior Member hopefloats's Avatar
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    Default Infertility is TTC for more than a year and nada

    6 months if your over 35 . . . just thought Id throw that out there.
    I remember getting a pedicure with a friend and how worried she was when she wasnt preggor after 4 months of trying and there I sat riding the emotional rollercoaster of IF for more than 4 years. I couldnt believe she was actually having that conversation with me?
    and so, IF is no baby after 12 months of trying to concieve and 6 months if your over 35.

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    Some people are frustrating.
    We TTC for 4 years before I got pregnant with Evan. We lost a baby after TTC for 3.5 years.
    At about the 2 year mark, we were visiting DH's friend and his wife that just had a baby. She asked when we were going to have one. I said hopefully soon, we've been trying for 2 years.
    Her Response?
    “Oh my Gosh, I know JUST how you feel. We got pregnant the first month, but that waiting was HORRIBLE. Having to wait to test almost killed me!“
    DH held his breath thinking I would snap. I just responded, “It gets harder and harder every month that goes by.“
    Some people just don't get it!

  3. #3
    Senior Member hopefloats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaisa View Post
    Some people are frustrating.
    We TTC for 4 years before I got pregnant with Evan. We lost a baby after TTC for 3.5 years.
    At about the 2 year mark, we were visiting DH's friend and his wife that just had a baby. She asked when we were going to have one. I said hopefully soon, we've been trying for 2 years.
    Her Response?
    “Oh my Gosh, I know JUST how you feel. We got pregnant the first month, but that waiting was HORRIBLE. Having to wait to test almost killed me!“
    DH held his breath thinking I would snap. I just responded, “It gets harder and harder every month that goes by.“
    Some people just don't get it!
    nope they dont. And even though I have a beautiful DD now and learned a ton about paitence, IF has forever changed me.

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    wow. She waited for a test? and that compares how? I waited over a year myself ( thats nothing compared to others I know) but I would find her response insulting it was insensitive. At least 4 months is showing some type of effort/ difficulty and therefore looking for a little reassurance. I know I did at the 4 month point because I knew very little about TTC and what other women go through trying to have a baby.
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    I think waiting sucks period. I mean if it is 2 months or 2 years it still sucks. My sister gets pregnant easily and ususally can get pregnant within 1-4 months. Her first was the first month, the 2nd was around 2-3 months and the 3rd just took 4ish months. She was upset after every negative and I get that. It sucks to get your hopes up and then see that BFN.

    For us it took 2 years to finally get T and just about 3 to get M and that was with our 3rd IUI. Infertility sucks anyway you look at it and I just think people that are lucky enough to get pregnant right away cannot see past their own issues. Is it right? Nope but since they can't relate they share what they know.

    I say this because early on into my TTC journey I was very misinformed. I had shared on a public forum/chat that “at least you know you CAN get pregnant“ to a woman just going through a miscarriage! Now I have been through one I am shocked that I would have said that.

    TTC is a journey some long and some short so don't condem the misinformed as I was once one too

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    I understand where you are coming from it is very very frustrating.

    My dh and I ttc and ivf over about 6 years and nada.

    keep the faith and I am sure you will be blessed.
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    Senior Member hopefloats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveMyGirls22 View Post
    I think waiting sucks period. I mean if it is 2 months or 2 years it still sucks. My sister gets pregnant easily and ususally can get pregnant within 1-4 months. Her first was the first month, the 2nd was around 2-3 months and the 3rd just took 4ish months. She was upset after every negative and I get that. It sucks to get your hopes up and then see that BFN.

    For us it took 2 years to finally get T and just about 3 to get M and that was with our 3rd IUI. Infertility sucks anyway you look at it and I just think people that are lucky enough to get pregnant right away cannot see past their own issues. Is it right? Nope but since they can't relate they share what they know.

    I say this because early on into my TTC journey I was very misinformed. I had shared on a public forum/chat that “at least you know you CAN get pregnant“ to a woman just going through a miscarriage! Now I have been through one I am shocked that I would have said that.

    TTC is a journey some long and some short so don't condem the misinformed as I was once one too
    Not condeming, just trying to inform people what Infertility really is.

  8. #8
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    IF also includes miscarriages. You are considered IF if you have 2 m/c's in a row with no existing children or 3 in a row if you do have existing children.
    Mommy to DS Jan '06, DD July '09, DS Feb '11, DD Dec '12
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopefloats View Post
    Not condeming, just trying to inform people what Infertility really is.

    Sorry that wasn't directed to you...just sharing my thoughts as being on both sides of it.

    Technically infertility is just the inability to conceive so even if you have been trying for 3 months if there is a medical reason you aren't able to conceive the same would be true 2 years down the road it is just that most clinic won't see you until you have given it 6 months to a year. I have PCOS and endo and they could have figured that out at 3 months but I wasn't seen until many years later. I just was not well informed. Modern technology can tell us so much but they don't want every person that isn't successful quickly beating down the door.

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    i think this should be a sticky so this doesn't get lost.

    if i was in this boat i'd be super upset/annoyed having someone start a thread in here whining about how it's been soooo long trying to get preg and it's only been like 2 months, ya know?
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    Great post - I'm glad that was put out there.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurpleCat View Post
    i think this should be a sticky so this doesn't get lost.

    if i was in this boat i'd be super upset/annoyed having someone start a thread in here whining about how it's been soooo long trying to get preg and it's only been like 2 months, ya know?
    Exactly. And that's why this section was created. To make a different place for people who are dealing with IF, instead of just TTC. The TTC section is still there for anyone trying!

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    True.
    My little man was born on Oct 12/08 at home into Dad's loving hands.
    My little lady was born on July 28/11 at home... Daddy was busy keeping mom company.


    I have 1 baby Santa Suit for Sale 0-3 months (http://forum.londonmoms.ca/vbclassif...&memberid=2201) or to Trade (http://forum.londonmoms.ca/104323-tr...it#post1592622). Thanks for looking!

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    My favourite was someone who told me all of their fears about infertility after we'd been trying for 5 years, and 1 m/c, and they hadn't even started yet.

    I told her that infertility was a ride from hell, but that she shouldn't plan on buying a ticket unless she actually needed to.

    She got pregnant and carried to term 1st month of trying. Twice.
    Mummy to two wonderful miracle boys

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    I know we were ttc for quite a while before we publicly discussed it at all, because it just seemed weird to me to basically be announcing we have as much sex as possible, because we're hoping for a baby. I dunno, just felt odd.
    But finally I figured it's on my mind, might as well be on theirs

    Recently I found an old journal and was so so shocked at how long ago it was we started ttc our third child.
    It kind of depressed me
    I knew that this loss this summer hit me way, way more than the previous losses and thought it was because the kids knew, LM's all knew, family knew, had had u/s, etc but I think another reason is because we'd been trying so long and I felt something was not right from the beginning and it all got taken away so fast.

    I know I'm afraid to take the next steps like figuring out if there's a problem with my eggs, ovulation, his sperm etc. I think I just don't want to know that there's a concerete problem like that, because then I have to face reality that this may nver happen for us this time. Where as if I just go on as we have for the past few years, it's easier to blame it on how he's away frequently and maybe we just missed our window that month; or a bunch of other excuses. Less final excuses, y'know?
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