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Thread: Child Support

  1. #1
    Senior Member BabyDaisy's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    Unhappy Child Support

    I'm a new mom to my three month old son, and trying to survive on my own. The father is involved (when he has time) and we try to be civil with each other which usually doesn't work out. The pregnancy was not planned, as I just finished college and wanted to get my life in order. I own my own home and had purchased a new vehicle before I found out I was pregnant and now that I am on mat leave, it is impossible to keep bills paid and provide for my baby. I don't want to give up what I worked so hard for, and every time I bring up child support, I get the response from him that people are worse off. I'm not looking to live like a queen, I just need a little help to keep the utilities on and keep the baby fed and diapered, because right now it seems impossible to do.

    I want to get something in order to get him to pay me child support, he makes over $40, 000 a year and says he never has money for anything, and I am living on nickels and dimes on mat leave, it makes me SOO frustrated! I'm new to all this and being alone with a crying baby all day and all night is frustrating enough, I don't even know where to start. I can't afford a lawyer, and I feel so guilty for putting a baby through a custody battle already.

    I know people go through the same thing all the time, where do you start and whats the best thing to do to keep things simple? Any advice would be much appreciated!

  2. #2
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    Hey There;

    Sorry to hear you are having to struggle ecspecially at a time in your life that should be full of the excitement and joy of a new baby.

    It is my understanding that paying Child support is law - the non-custodial cannot 'opt' out of it unless he/she can prove undue hardship...and with an income of $40,000 per year he should have no problem paying...for example my cousin, who earns less than $25,000/year is having to pay court ordered child support for $400.00 a month for her 3 teenage boys who chose to stay with their he needs child support his income is over $100,000/year but they were not allowed to opt out of it...fortunately for her he is paying alimony that exceeds so it evens out for her in the end - dont know how she could live with having to pay rent, car loan, food and $400.00 for child support. But with a $40,000/ year income even if it means he has to for go some of life's luxuries his baby should come first.

    Here is the website with more information about your rights and his responsibilities...

    Perhaps showing him what he would be required to pay if you take him to court would open his eyes - and he would volunteer to make an agreeded upon arrangement with SO and his Ex had an arrangement like this where he paid her child support that they agreed upon...everything was fine with the support payments up until the final divorce came up in front of a judge....let us just say that if you take it to court it doesnt matter what you 'agreeded to' there is a formula that they have and all non-custodial parents must pay based on this formula...even if the custodial parent doesnt feel they need that much...but that is a different thread!

    In my opinion you need to do what you need to too ensure that your little one has what is needed to be healthy...if he wont stand up and do what is right here is a website for helping to find a local lawyer who will do pro bono or legal aid work....they will help enforce his responsibility!

    Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your little one!

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Jun 2006
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    first off you are NOT putting a baby through a custody battle it is between you and him not the baby.

    second remember access and support are two SEPERATE issue NEVER make the mistake of saying pay me or dont see the child (i can tell you first hand how the judge reacted to finding out my ex pulled that stunt on me)

    you dont need a lawyer duty counsel is free and the forms are free its very simple, if he makes it more diffucult then legal aid may help.

    it is great you want to be civil but he has a legal and moral obligation to support his child and needs to do so.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tami&amber's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    springbank park, London
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    theres the link for the forms
    file your claim ask duty counsel at the family ctr to sign them and get his advice -for free
    serve your ex
    goto court
    he will be ordered to pay
    and you could even askl that he pay half of medical/daycare

    The future is uncertain... but this uncertainty is at the very heart of human creativity

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Aug 2006
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    You can also ask that the father be responsible for getting a life insurance plan and having your child to be the beneficary ( sp???)

    Its not easy to be in this situation, BTDT. Duty Counsel is great, and so is the Family Information Center on the first floor of the court house.

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