My vent!

[aidensmom]

So dsd has now lived with us for 3 months and over all its been good, but, she is a teenager and there has been drama. Its a bit of a jump start going from 1.5/3.5/5.5 to a 15.5 year old!

She has had her Ipod and cell phone taken away for 3 weeks of grounding, but it doesn't seem like much in the way of grounding when you consider she still used the computer (my computer since she's never gotten around to buying her WIFI USB thingy) and she's currently on the regular phone with a boy plus she goes over to her grandparents (mom's parents) tomorrow night and they're taking her to get her Christmas shopping done. She was grounded for 1 week for going to a dance without permission, 2nd week for being late for school again (23rd time! and for most of those times we had dropped her off in lots of time!) and a 3rd week for letting and being with her friend smoking pot in her mother's basement.

Its frustrating that her mom let her stay over at her house for 2 nights though she knew she wasn't suppose to go to the dance, dh didn't stop her from leaving when she came home to get a change of clothes before going back to her moms and she gets this attitude like she's entitled to go Christmas shopping with her grandparents, grounding or not. I think dh was letting her go anyway, I probably wouldn't have to be honest and too bad for her grandparents.

Just getting frustrated with it. Overall dsd is a good kid, but the lates and some other things have me concerned that she's going to mess up highschool, says the lady who messed up and wishes she had gone on to Uni or college!

Anyway, thats my rant. Thanks if you made it this far!

[Stepher]

Big hugs, I neither liked being a teen or look forward to having one if their anything like me and adding all the step parenting “fun“ on top I can only imagine

[MomLiz]

I hope it gets easier for you. I just wanted to let you know she doesn't have to sign anything for you guys to get the CCTB. Just call them and tell them she lives with you. They will want proof such as something with her name and your addess on it but thats about it.

[hinagal]

oh boy. step parenting is hard eh?
my sd is 13 and i am learning to navigate teen years. *sigh*
vent all you need!

[forevergreen.]

woah, she kinda sounds like me as a teen. I totally played my parents at that age. My dad wasn't strict and mom was. If I was grounded and wanted to go some where I'd go to the others house. My mom still filed us even when I lived at my dads. I also had the school call my dads if I missed school or got in trouble. At my high school my dad had to sign over the guardian forms but disliked my mom so never did. No matter how strict my mom tried to be she couldn't because I could always escape to Dad's house. I think it's great that you're sticking to your guns and giving her the structure she needs but it sucks that no matter how hard you try she won't get it if her mom's not on board Don't feel bad for her punishments either! Also, my Step-mom brought me for a tour of the local college and then a University I was interested in and I`m very thankful for that. It got me a lot more interested in post-secondary education and gave me a drive.

[Noahsmom]

that is a tough situation...parenting teenagers is hard. Especially when you have the other parent allowing things. I know she has been in your life since she was very young, but she is now living with you. I find it takes time to get things where they are in a good place of respect both ways.
In regards to the CCTB, i would call for sure. She isnt sounding like she cares and is willing to sign it over. The longer she waits, the more she will have to pay back. When we called to have ours stopped for my stepson, they asked the exact date he was no longer living in our house. They continued to pay us several months after that and we now are paying back to the exact date he left. (even though we called to stop it) So i would call and let them know she is now living with you and has been for 3 months. After 3 months, i am sure she is staying there.
I wouldnt wait for her to sign over the internet access for the school, i would call the school myself and tell them she is living there. We signed ours over by writing a letter and giving it directly the the vice principal, so i would call the school.

[aidensmom]

I may have said a bit too much on here considering dh is worried a co-worker may access this site, so I'm sorry but I guess I'd better edit my post. Thankyou for your posts though, I appreciate it and it sounds like dh got at least one of the issues sorted out with the ex.

[Ingalls]

Teen years sound like they're full of hard choices for kids and parents.
You have my sympathies.

[K'sMum]

my DSD is 10 and just starting the getting parents against parents, lying and all the “teen“ behaviors
it sucks, but remember, this too shall pass

[Jasmin]

Here's an idea you could have some fun with . Tell her the next time she's late one of you will personally walk her into school holding her hand, and will wait for her outside of her classes to follow her to the next one. Watch her face. Mom and or Dad in the school......... sooooo not cool and embarrassing! If you sound serious, she might smarten up.
As for the dance, same advice. Tell her that now you've got people on speed dial to call and let you know she's there and that you WILL show up, worse yet, in your pajama's if you have to.
But that will only work as long as you can carry through on it. (Let's hope it doesn't get to that point).