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  1. #1
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    Default WTF? How do I address this?

    So, my DD is in a 2/3 split at school - DD is in grade 2. There is a 3rd grader that was sitting at her table that was new to the school. DD is smitten with her. All I hear about is *new girl this* and *new girl that.* She even went so far as to tell me that when *new girl* talks her whole face smiles. My understanding is that *new girl* plays with DD and her friends at school, but also hangs out with some of the grade 3s.

    DD's birthday party invites went out yesterday. *New girl* told DD today that she can not come to her party because her dad does not want her playing with a grade 2. WTF? Ok, I'm having a hard time believing this - is it even true? And *new girl* played with DD and friends at school today. *New girl* is moving to our neighbourhood in a few weeks - right next door to DD's BFF (who's also in grade 2 in the same class) and about 10 houses from us.

    I'm not sure how to make DD feel better about this, and now I am worried that all of the playdates that we have dreamed about may not happen. What I want to do is approach DAD on the school yard and say SERIOUSLY? or ask why THAT would be the reason given by *new girl* because she still plays with the girls.

    Sorry. I'm all jumbled up and frustrated and flabbergasted and not sure where to go with this!

    ETA: It is a costume party on the 30th. I'm also wondering that maybe they don't "do" Halloween. But then I would hope there would be a better excuse?!?
    Last edited by tansie; 10-07-2010 at 03:54 PM.
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  2. #2
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    I would ask the Dad. It may be the little girl's out if she isn't permitted to wear a costume or doesn't plan to get one for whatever reason. Hopefully he is honest because I really don't see what a year in age different makes at any age.

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    If you see *new girl's* Dad at the school ask him. Let him know how much the girls like playing together. See what he says...if it is true that really sucks, but once they move, I am sure things will change. Growing up didn't we all have some friends that were older and younger?? I know I did, especially due to split grades. Good luck.
    Last edited by Pomegranate; 10-07-2010 at 04:00 PM.

  4. #4
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    I would just approach dad nicely and say some thing like “DDs b-day is on______, she would really like new girl to come. Will she be available that day?“ Or something to that effect.....give hime the chance to tell you the reason rather than providing him with what new girl said.
    "Anything is better than lies and deceit". Leo Tolstoy

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by laurensmom View Post
    I would just approach dad nicely and say some thing like “DDs b-day is on______, she would really like new girl to come. Will she be available that day?“ Or something to that effect.....give hime the chance to tell you the reason rather than providing him with what new girl said.
    This is more what I am leaning towards. Or, hope I get MOM instead! LOL They haven't moved from London yet, so it's usually a quick drop off for them, and DD walks home herself. Hopefully once they move - which is two weeks before the party - we can try for a playdate. See what the excuse/answer is. They play at school, so that's what makes me wonder about the reason. Maybe I should invite more of the grade 3's!
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  6. #6
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    I would let it go. I would tell E, thats too bad new girl is going to miss out on a fun party! Maybe we can try a play date sometime! Or something equally lame. Keep it positive and light and not make it a downer for her birthday party.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamarazzi View Post
    I would let it go. I would tell E, thats too bad new girl is going to miss out on a fun party! Maybe we can try a play date sometime! Or something equally lame. Keep it positive and light and not make it a downer for her birthday party.
    Other than the first line... this is what I am trying to doing so far for Elsie.
    Although, I may have muttered that it was a silly excuse.
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  8. #8
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    Ya I know its hard. I remember last year a girl didnt even reply to Caitlin's birthday invite and I took it personal, like she was rejecting me! It was hard to keep positive about it!

  9. #9
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    I'd do what Laurensmom said, if it were me. In case it's something like they don't do Halloween, or the girl is scared to go to a halloween party, or something. I know I have made some odd excuses to ds before not expecting he'd relay them, but not wanting to tell him the actual truth.
    Now in our cases, it was stuff varying from the fact that I didn't want him in a nicotine coated environment with people with two big dogs indoors, all the way to the reason simply being I didn't want the headache of getting him to/from the location and didn't want him blaming me (cos I don't drive) for missing the fun. So I've said lame stuff like the dad may have, and not meant it at all

    The reason I'd find out the actual truth is because if she is going to live nearby soon...better to know now if they have some beef with you, than later. Just in case there's some mixup like maybe some girl named ____ has teased this kid, and the parents mixed up that story with a story about E? etc.
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  10. #10
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    Well, I think I know what I will do... if I get a chance. Have only seen *new girl's* dad 2x and mom (I think) 1x.

    I will go over and introduce myself “because I understand our girls enjoy playing together at breaks“ and I wanted to make sure that *new girl* gave them the invite to the party. If I get a blow-off, then I'll say “too bad she can't make it, we'll have to set up a playdate once you get settled.“ And then go from there.
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  11. #11
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    Good plan! Hope it works out!

  12. #12
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    I hope that excuse is not legit. Sad if it is. Really some jk'ers are closer in age to ds who is in sk. So saying kids can't hang out with other grades is just silly!
    Good luck.

  13. #13
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    i'm with laurensmom, get to the heart of they matter w/o the confrontation. Doesn't sound like something a mature adult would say.

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    Well, I got some new info from DD today that just might make that statement make *a little* more sense. DD told me the other day that *new girl's* birthday is the same day as mine, so in Nov. That would make her less than a year older than DD... or so I thought. DD is emphatic that *new girl* is already 8 years old. So, maybe *new girl* started school somewhere (like Quebec) where you have to be a certain age by Sept 1 and not Dec 31. Maybe she is almost 2 years older than DD. It would make a little more sense.

    Anyway, they were all playing together happily when I left the school yard Fri morning... and *new girl* has not had a playdate with DD's BFF.
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