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  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Default Giving $$ as a gift- rules?

    I'm going to a wedding in June (NOT the wedding I wrote about in a previous thread!) and the couple has been living together for years, are in their late 30's and don't need a thing (typical wedding gifts- are not registered anywhere etc..). I've heard it through the grapevine that they're wanting monetary gifts only. I'm fine with that, saves me having to pick out something.

    I'm just wondering what the protocol is for giving money. How much do you give, what does it depend on if anything etc...? This is my cousin, getting married on Toronto Island and only I am going (although DH was invited- he's staying home with DD).

    I've heard its the cost of the plate (how would you figure that?) or at least $100 per couple....
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    Meh. I think 50 - 100 would be appropriate.

    Most people at our wedding 4 years ago gave that amount

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    Senior Member MNegas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by punchanella View Post
    Meh. I think 50 - 100 would be appropriate.

    Most people at our wedding 4 years ago gave that amount
    I agree...if you want to put more, I'm sure they won't mind but this is what I would do.
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    Thats what I was thinking, $100. I was told by a friend that I would probably want to give more seeing as she's my family and I was kind of annoyed to hear that.
    tough times don't last but tough people do

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    our parents and granparents gave more, but that was it.

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    $100 sounds right. I wouldn't give less considering its in TO and likely more expensive. We got way more from parents, and my one friend (she is crazy) I am waiting for the day she gets married to “pay her back“ it was ridiculous and made dh and I very uncomfortable because I know her financial situation and she really couldn't afford $700.

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    It depends on the wedding, the couple, your financial status, your relationship with the couple, your age... We usually do $150-$200. I find it's gone up as we got older.

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    Nationality may play a factor too....ie - Italian's, Polish etc tend to give more. Also saying that, the meals are usually a lot more too.

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    Wow I need to get married lol!! When I was married the first time in 1996, we got $20-$50 in cards. And my ex pocketed the total of $1200, he says the gifts were for me!!

    Why did I marry this arse??

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    I personally would give about $100 if it were me but it's based on many factors such as what can you honestly and comfortably afford to give? What do you truly want to give? How well you know the couple, etc. The most we received in one shot was from my multi-millionaire uncle (and that is a true statement) was $1000, from my lawyer uncle on other side of my family we got $400 and from the majority of ppl $100. Others gave $50 or $75. We were happy with any amount. All of the $ we were given as wedding gifts helped us put a down payment down on our first house
    There were also ppl who didn't give anything or others who gave just a card. It really made no difference to us, as we knew some ppl had nothing to give. We were simply happy to have them for our wedding.
    Last edited by 2boysmom; 04-30-2010 at 05:16 PM.

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    Generally the rule is, or atleast used to be, if you are giving cash, you give the cost of the meal that they are spending on you.
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    I personally give what I can afford. I know that generally its per plate. But I don't have 100-200 to give to someone as a gift. I usually try to do either a gift or cash around 50.00.
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    Quote Originally Posted by out_in_the_boonies_mom View Post
    I personally give what I can afford. I know that generally its per plate. But I don't have 100-200 to give to someone as a gift. I usually try to do either a gift or cash around 50.00.
    I think that is completely fine myself. Now that I am not working (been this way for a # of years mind you) we have way less $ to give than we would have had back in the day when I was still employed and making $. I think most ppl getting married would be heartbroken if they knew anyone went in the hole financially just so they could give them a gift.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMommy View Post
    Generally the rule is, or atleast used to be, if you are giving cash, you give the cost of the meal that they are spending on you.
    Wow if that is the case then that means each person at my wedding should have technically given about $14 since the plate of food was around that amount/person (which was served farmer style-it was the 2nd or middle priced meal option. Top was served style at a few bucks more and bottom level was buffet style for $1 or $2 less/plate.) I was honestly happy being given any amount of $ though.

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    My dad pays what everyones meal would cost (so either just for him and his wife, or him, his wife, my sister, and myself) and if its an open bar, he also adds in how much he would be spending in drinks.

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