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Thread: You are strong

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    Default You are strong

    Not sure if this will come through, but I found it on another blog and it made me think. I personally don't like when people say stuff about how strong I am and how they couldn't go through what we have, blah blah blah. I think any parent would be as 'strong' for their child when/if they had to. But I guess that's the point, isn't it? We have had to. So I guess we are.


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    im of the same mindset as you turtle. you just do what you have to do. no matter the circumstances.

    I think all parents are strong.

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    Unfortunately, I've been told there are some parents in our shoes who are not so 'strong'. That they don't cope well or give their children what they need. I agree though, you do what you have to...and some of you have strengths I would question having myself. I think a lot of it is learning what your new comfort zone is. Like 2 years ago I would have never thought I could do what we are...heck just last September when DS got his mic-key, I never thought I could handle it (cleaning, changing, etc). But I did, and although it sucks to have to know how to do it (and it still kind of icks me out), it does feel kind of good to know I can.

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    I think most are strong..however I have seen first hand some parents who could not cope at all.
    jennifer mommy to 4 amazing kids!

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    I sometimes cant handle my non-special needs kids and wonder how the parents with special can. You ladies are strong and it makes others appreciate that much more what they have in their lives. Kudos to all of you out there.
    “A mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking,
    it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking”- Helen Rice

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    it is complete admiration from those of us that have not had to over come hurdles and obstacles - to watch you parents that have, take them in such stride with proud - strong- smiles on your faces.
    It is challenging to be a parent!! and you parents do it all with a little .. twist

    I love what you posted.. I hear what you're saying Turtle about why you don't like it... but you deserve that title. You do all of it that everyone else does - and more. and the fact that you feel anyone would 'step up' and do it is irrelevant imo (and not necessarily true)... but I think it's irrelevant bc others haven't had to - and that's something that makes you all special



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    I don't feel so strong when I cry, or when I need to call a friend or my husband when I can't handle things. I don't feel strong when I want to run away. I don't feel strong when I worry about eveything. So when I see other Moms handle things so well, and how they can keep a smile on their face, and stay so positive. I praise them. I know what its like to have a child with special needs. I do try and do my best but, I wish I could be stronger.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaitnChloesMum View Post
    I don't feel so strong when I cry, or when I need to call a friend or my husband when I can't handle things. I don't feel strong when I want to run away. I don't feel strong when I worry about eveything. So when I see other Moms handle things so well, and how they can keep a smile on their face, and stay so positive. I praise them. I know what its like to have a child with special needs. I do try and do my best but, I wish I could be stronger.
    I think that's probably a huge part of it as well why I don't like it. It's hard to see the 'strength' part of things when I spent my pregnancy barely functioning and still have regular meltdowns and 6 weeks out still can't do this on my own. It's easy to fake it when I have to, but I'm a house of straw, not bricks! Most days I am one awesome support system away from being one of those mothers who can't hack it.
    Last edited by AuntPetunia; 02-19-2010 at 09:47 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaitnChloesMum View Post
    I don't feel so strong when I cry, or when I need to call a friend or my husband when I can't handle things. I don't feel strong when I want to run away. I don't feel strong when I worry about eveything. So when I see other Moms handle things so well, and how they can keep a smile on their face, and stay so positive. I praise them. I know what its like to have a child with special needs. I do try and do my best but, I wish I could be stronger.
    but, you know what, these other moms probably look at you in the exact same way. I think most of us, whether we have special needs kids or not, seem a lot stronger when out in public than we feel on the inside.

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    I actually am disgusted when I have people come up and tell me these things.... Why... because I think to myself that comments like that should be so useless... As a parent, you do what you gotta do without even a second thought just because! However, just mere fact that such comments are necessary because not all parents do this... infact quite a few parent of special needs kids (and “normal ones“) don't... is truly disgusting. I know this.. my kids have one parent like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaitnChloesMum View Post
    I don't feel so strong when I cry, or when I need to call a friend or my husband when I can't handle things. I don't feel strong when I want to run away. I don't feel strong when I worry about eveything. So when I see other Moms handle things so well, and how they can keep a smile on their face, and stay so positive. I praise them. I know what its like to have a child with special needs. I do try and do my best but, I wish I could be stronger.
    Quote Originally Posted by turtle View Post
    I think that's probably a huge part of it as well why I don't like it. It's hard to see the 'strength' part of things when I spent my pregnancy barely functioning and still have regular meltdowns and 6 weeks out still can't do this on my own. It's easy to fake it when I have to, but I'm a house of straw, not bricks! Most days I am one awesome support system away from being one of those mothers who can't hack it.

    I often get the “You've got your hands full....hats off to you“ comment when people see that I have 3 kids. Then when they eventually learn or see that #1 is special needs, it turns into “Wow, I don't know how you do it“. I sort of just feel awkward, like I don't know how I'm supposed to respond. I cope...some days I don't cope well. If it's a friend, I'll joke that I survive with copious amounts of alcohol . If it's not someone I know, well, they might call CAS on me. LOL.

    Most days lately - especially because of homeschooling and winter and being isolated - I am burnt out completely. I don't think that deserves admiration.
    The poster formerly known as Geomamma

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tanya-Mae View Post
    I actually am disgusted when I have people come up and tell me these things.... Why... because I think to myself that comments like that should be so useless... As a parent, you do what you gotta do without even a second thought just because! However, just mere fact that such comments are necessary because not all parents do this... infact quite a few parent of special needs kids (and “normal ones“) don't... is truly disgusting. I know this.. my kids have one parent like this.

    well.. I certainly am looking at comments I have made with THE best intentions in a different light.

    I've never thought about the fact that what I am saying could be taken negatively.
    I'm truly sorry if I ever offended anyone.

    thanks for the food for thought



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    Oh no... I did not mean to offend or dix any person who makes a comment like this.. rather my point was more directed at the situation. I know the intention behind such comments are nothing but positive.. and yes I do appreciate it. It is sometimes nice to hear when we are having one of “those“ days. On a side note I would personally much rather have some one put it down in writing rather than verbalize it so that I can show my ex that I do “work“ but that is another story, lol.

    My intended point in this thread was just to say that I think the situation is sad... commenting that someone does what they do to care for their kid(s) should be as pointless as drawing attention to the fact that that the there are 12 eggs in a dozen... KWIM?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tanya-Mae View Post
    Oh no... I did not mean to offend or dix any person who makes a comment like this.. rather my point was more directed at the situation. I know the intention behind such comments are nothing but positive.. and yes I do appreciate it. It is sometimes nice to hear when we are having one of “those“ days. On a side note I would personally much rather have some one put it down in writing rather than verbalize it so that I can show my ex that I do “work“ but that is another story, lol.

    My intended point in this thread was just to say that I think the situation is sad... commenting that someone does what they do to care for their kid(s) should be as pointless as drawing attention to the fact that that the there are 12 eggs in a dozen... KWIM?
    oh no offending or anything!!! .. it just never really occured to me that someone would feel that way bc of one of those comments... I think it is an important point to bring up and certainly one to be aware of. I appreciate it
    it's good to look at things in a different light

    and yea.. I get what you're saying with your last point.



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    Good to know we are “getting it“

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