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  1. #1
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    Default Dealing with parents and in-laws

    Recently, I had a deep discussion with DH over his parents future regarding their current and future living arrangements and possible age illness concerns (alzimers, chronic care etc) and what that might mean to our immediate family. His response was that it was none of "my business" and I should keep my thoughts/words to myself. He felt that anything regarding his parents was up to him and his siblings to deal with and discuss.

    I would like some perspective on this from other families. As a wife, are you involved in the decisions regarding your in-laws and is your husband involved in the decisions regarding your parents?

    Depending on your response, would it change if you knew you or your husband intended parents/in-laws to come and live with you even if the other disagreed?

  2. #2
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    We haven't discussed anything like this (my mom is much older than dh's parents - so it would come up for me first) but I would say anyone moving into your house should be discussed and agreed between the 2 of you because it's your home too.

    Honestly, I think dh would let a lot of decisions be up to me for his parents.

  3. #3
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    I definitely think that if someone was coming to live in your house, you should get a say in it. It is your house too. And I'm of the opinion that once you become married, you're a team that should be making decisions together.

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Whoa... you might not be able to have the final say, in a sense, but you should definately be involved in ANYTHING that will affect your life. The "none of your business" attitude is very... shocking to me.

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    We have discussed it and none of our parents are over 55. Dh's mom has MS though and I would assume at elast one of our parents will need alternate living arrangements at one point. I have told him when we buy a house it has to have a bedroom and a full bath on the main floor for that reason. If something happened and one of our parents couldn't care for themselves I want our place to be an option. Also it never hurts to have that room for a guest or if a child is sick, breaks a leg and can't climb stairs etc.

    So yes we have discussed it and it would definately be a decision that we would both be involved in. Doesn't he think you'd be helping care for the parent?? Helping feed when he is out?? Going to visit if they are somewhere else?? When you get married his family is yours and yours is his IMO!
    Mommy to DS Jan '06, DD July '09, DS Feb '11, DD Dec '12
    Wife to my wonderful DH of 8 years
    http://handsbetterfull.blogspot.com/

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