Your Ex's "Other Half"

[DMC2008]

What do you think of your ex's "other half"....(gf, fiance, wife, husband, whatever)

I've come to understand that sad but true some people get extremely jealous over the new person in their ex's life.

Do you feel jealous of your ex's new partner?! How do your kids feel?!

I feel great that my girls love my ex husbands fiance. Their father was supposed to come to their Christmas play last night but texted me that he couldn't make it b/c he had to work. When I went to break the news to the girls my youngest said "if daddy can't make it can (fill in her name here) and (her sons name here) still come?!" That made me feel GOOD! I love knowing that they have a great time with them, and that they love his fiance.

From observation of other situations I have seen that some parents are extremely jealous of "their" children loving the new partner. I think that's sad, I really do. I mean I don't particularly like my ex's fiance, BUT my kids do love her and that's what counts, right?!

How do you feel?! Are you dealing with someone who's jealous of you or the relationship you have with your step children.......how do you cope with that?!

[Tan5kids]

uhmmm DH and I have been together for 16 years now and his ex wife is okay. She is not my best friend but we have had to deal with each other a lot over the years. When we met, dh's and her sons were 10 and 13. I made it clear from the beginning that I was NOT the Mom and had no interest in becoming their Mom.

When my Mom was dying she came to my house and stayed for a week, allowing my DH and I the opportunity to both be with my Mom and Brothers. I can never repay that kind of kindness.


When she lived out of town, she would sleep at our house and then do her own thing from our place. She lives in London now.


I am not at all jelous of her. It never crossed my mind to feel threatened by her .

[Leigh]

I don't know any of my ex's new gfs. I just feel sorry for them, and want to warn them about his history (drunk, and has been convicted of Sexual Interference of a minor). Esp if they have children like his current gf I'm told.

My DS doesn't seem him, so I really don't worry about him getting attached to anyone else. lol

[Mom2my2]

I don't get jealous. I guess I use to when we first split up (she moved into MY house within a week of me moving out) now I don't get jealous, I am glad she's in my kids life. DS asked if it was ok that he loves daddy's girlfriend and I said that was great. I think she does most of the 'care giving' to the kids when they are there..

[simpsongirl]

....I am happy my kids get along with my Ex's GF. they like her and she listens to them. and my kids have nothing bad to say about there step-mom/ step-sisters. I am happy he was able to move on, and leave me ALONE.

I believe if you are jealous of who your ex's is with then you still have something there for him.

[BabyLove]

My SD is grown and we have no interaction with her Mom. That works for me based on how the past was explained to me. I get along really well with my SD but I am not a motherly figure to her. More of a friend figure in her life.

[DMC2008]

Originally Posted by simpsongirl

I believe if you are jealous of who your ex's is with then you still have something there for him.

Maybe not so much of who he's with, but rather jealous of the relationship that person has with the children. Like feeling as if their role as “mom“ or “dad“ is being threatend b/c the other children might like them better etc......

[Kaisa]

Originally Posted by danaplus5

Maybe not so much of who he's with, but rather jealous of the relationship that person has with the children. Like feeling as if their role as “mom“ or “dad“ is being threatend b/c the other children might like them better etc......

I think this it normal. I know DH can not stand his ex or her new husband. But I know it bothers him that someone else is trying to take over the father role. I guess our case is different though, they are making the boys call him Dad. Also at their wedding all of their vows were about how they were becoming a family and he is the father figure that the boys have never had... nice, eh?
So I guess DH has reason to be mad! lol.

[DMC2008]

Originally Posted by Kaisa

I think this it normal. I know DH can not stand his ex or her new husband. But I know it bothers him that someone else is trying to take over the father role. I guess our case is different though, they are making the boys call him Dad. Also at their wedding all of their vows were about how they were becoming a family and he is the father figure that the boys have never had... nice, eh?
So I guess DH has reason to be mad! lol.

Oh my! That IS terrible! Geez!

Well on both sides of things here, SO doesn't ever try to take over being a father - but obviously had a “father figure role model“ thing, does that make sense?! Last night my youngest asked if SO could take her to her classroom before the school play, and at this point with thought her bio father was coming and SO said no that he didnt want to step on her dad's feet. I think that was the right thing to do/say. He did end up taking her though b/c her dad couldnt make it, but I seriously doubt my ex feels jealous towards SO.

Likewise, I would never try to be SO's girls mom. Step mom, sure, but we talked to them a long time ago about the roles of mom and dad, and the roles of step mom and step dad. We do lots of fun thing together though, and sometimes they accidently call me mom, but I always correct them.

[Brayden's Mommy]

For me it's hard because my SO's ex just doesn't want me to be a part of their son's life and i really don't understand why. I mean i am great with their son and I just don't feel like I deserve to be treated the way she treats me but what can you do right. As for my ex, the girl he was dating was bad news but as far as him and her together I don't care I just don't want her around my son...I do not need bad influences in his life. I'm completely over the ex I just want him to pick to be with someone who will be good to my son!! That's all that matters to me

[Kaisa]

Originally Posted by danaplus5

Oh my! That IS terrible! Geez!

Well on both sides of things here, SO doesn't ever try to take over being a father - but obviously had a “father figure role model“ thing, does that make sense?! Last night my youngest asked if SO could take her to her classroom before the school play, and at this point with thought her bio father was coming and SO said no that he didnt want to step on her dad's feet. I think that was the right thing to do/say. He did end up taking her though b/c her dad couldnt make it, but I seriously doubt my ex feels jealous towards SO.

Likewise, I would never try to be SO's girls mom. Step mom, sure, but we talked to them a long time ago about the roles of mom and dad, and the roles of step mom and step dad. We do lots of fun thing together though, and sometimes they accidently call me mom, but I always correct them.

I think that's one of the biggest tricks of being a step-parent. Having to find that balance where you are a step-parent and not trying to be their parents (when they have both parents in their lives).

[tailbouncer]

My DS1 gets along great with his step mom, she has been there since before his birth, but she is his step mom. I feel sorry for her, as they have no children and a really crappy marriage. And to top if off my son thinks she is pretty lame ( his words). She has more issues with me, as she believed SD ( sperm donor ) when he told her that the child was not his. She spread a lot of misinformation about me to others at the time and was surprised to find that others did not support her, especially the court. She harbours resentment about the amount of control I have and how little say she has, especially in regards to the amount of money he has to pay in child support. She also has difficulties with SD and my ability to maintain a friendship all these years. But then again she is the one who went on the second date with a man who informed her that his friend with benefits was 3 months pregnant. She probably should have walked away and let us sort ourselves out because while I know we were destined not to be together we were also destined to remain friends.

[amyunicorn]

Originally Posted by danaplus5

...sometimes they accidently call me mom, but I always correct them.

So, they aren't allowed to call you mom? Even if it is their choice? Just curious...

My DH's step-father was never called “Dad“. He was the only 'father figure' in DH's life for the most part. They fought a lot and DH only called him by his first name. We found out after he died, that he had told DH's mom that he had wished the boys would have called him Dad.

[DMC2008]

Originally Posted by amyunicorn

So, they aren't allowed to call you mom? Even if it is their choice? Just curious...

My DH's step-father was never called “Dad“. He was the only 'father figure' in DH's life for the most part. They fought a lot and DH only called him by his first name. We found out after he died, that he had told DH's mom that he had wished the boys would have called him Dad.

Well I dont think they do it on purpose - it just sometimes comes out. If they felt like they really wanted to call me mom, yes I think it is appropriate to acknowledge they have a mom, and that I am the step mother. Sorry I just dont feel its appropriate. If they want to think of me as mom that's wonderful, but they need to call their mom, mom.

Just like my girls call their father “dad“, and SO by his name.

Between the 5 girls there are 4 involved parents. IF SO's girls didnt have a mother in the picture I might be okay with that, IF they wanted to call me mom, but with our situation it isnt necessary.

[Mommymanda]

I don't know ask or care about the Ex's relationships as long as DD approves. So far according to her it changes monthly so not much to say. I truly wish he'd find someone nice and settle, it would be better for DD.