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  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrrah View Post
    Broken and light sleep is natural for them at that age.

    You're not supposed to leave them to cry so young, pretty much everyone agrees with that. They can't understand it, and so it is cruel as it causes needless suffering.
    I have never once said anything about leaving my baby to cry. Even if I did agree with that, does everyone pretty much agree with not leaving them to cry when they are so young or is that just your opinion? I appreciate your opinion and take it for what it is worth but I was actually just asking for tips and suggestions but somehow my original thread has been misconstrued that I am leaving my dd to CIO.
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  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel'smommy View Post
    I don't think that there is such a thing as overly deep sleep (to my knowledge anyhow.).

    This is more about where she is sleeping and her getting quality sleep as opposed to broken and very light sleeping. Studies have also shown how important it is for babies' development and brains to be able to have a deeper state of sleep as well.
    hmmm, i would suggest reading some literature by respected authors about sleep and safety. attachment parenting, by katie granju, baby matters, by dr.linda palmer, nighttime parenting, by dr.sears sr. those are all really good resources. la leche league also has great resources.

    what myrrah was talking about is the studies that show babes are meant to have light sleep, they wake easily, and this is how sids is reduced. babes with over full tummies of formula that take a long time to digest, who sleep alone and undisturbed can be at greater risk of very shallow breathing, and actually stopping breathing as they don't receive the cues from a steadily breathing parent to keep breathing.

    as i'm sure you recall from your first, 7 weeks is hard work, babies are needy, lol. hang in there babe, it gets easier ... my only suggestion, that you probably don't want to hear, is do whatever works to keep her happy and relaxed the most, if that means in your arms, sling it till you get it, go somewhere that someone with young baby sling experience can help you get her settled, and have faith that when she's ready within herself to be separated from you, she'll let you know!
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  3. #18
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    Yes you did talk about leaving her to cry??

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel'smommy View Post
    I think that I am just afraid to go through that inevitable crying process as well but I know that it must be done.

    Help me to be strong!

    Any suggestions or tips are welcomed as well!

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrrah View Post
    Yes you did talk about leaving her to cry??
    I guess what I am referring to is letting her cry it out.
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  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by hinagal View Post
    hmmm, i would suggest reading some literature by respected authors about sleep and safety. attachment parenting, by katie granju, baby matters, by dr.linda palmer, nighttime parenting, by dr.sears sr. those are all really good resources. la leche league also has great resources.

    what myrrah was talking about is the studies that show babes are meant to have light sleep, they wake easily, and this is how sids is reduced. babes with over full tummies of formula that take a long time to digest, who sleep alone and undisturbed can be at greater risk of very shallow breathing, and actually stopping breathing as they don't receive the cues from a steadily breathing parent to keep breathing.

    as i'm sure you recall from your first, 7 weeks is hard work, babies are needy, lol. hang in there babe, it gets easier ... my only suggestion, that you probably don't want to hear, is do whatever works to keep her happy and relaxed the most, if that means in your arms, sling it till you get it, go somewhere that someone with young baby sling experience can help you get her settled, and have faith that when she's ready within herself to be separated from you, she'll let you know!
    Thank you for this information. It does make sense and it does make me see it a little differently now. I did not know that this was the reasoning behind the cause of SIDS so it is good to know and I appreciate the information. Thank you also for your support- at the end of the day I just would like to do what is best for my dd and for my family and I would never intentionally do anything that would be cruel or put her in harm's way.
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  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel'smommy View Post
    Thank you for this information. It does make sense and it does make me see it a little differently now. I did not know that this was the reasoning behind the cause of SIDS so it is good to know and I appreciate the information. Thank you also for your support- at the end of the day I just would like to do what is best for my dd and for my family and I would never intentionally do anything that would be cruel or put her in harm's way.
    Of course that makes sense.

    I also have a horrible headache and my posts are probably not coming across very well. So sorry about that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by myrrah View Post
    Of course that makes sense.

    I also have a horrible headache and my posts are probably not coming across very well. So sorry about that.
    No worries. I think that we are all on the learning curve as parents and I appreciate new information as I am definitely on that curve apparently!
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    having 2 kids is hard work. my kids NEVER seemed to sleep at the same time, it made me crazy.
    i think a big part of your challenge is adjusting perspective. i know it made a huge difference to me to see things in a different light.
    if you spend your day waiting to put her down and have her be content, you spend much of your time in anticipation or frustration. not good. not fun. totally normal.
    if you instead work your day around what makes her cry the least, and incorporate baby wearing, or co-sleeping, and find success in keeping her content, you will have a LOT more patience and energy with the other one.
    when everything becomes a struggle, which it DOES when you try and implement changes on a new babe, then it is exhausting and really frustrating. this filters through the entire day!!
    going from one to two is a huge challenge. you have to approach the day with an entirely new perspective, you are no longer just dealing with working around one. especially one that has a relative amount of independence.
    i really encourage you to find a way she can sleep on you so you don't spend the day feeling trapped and unsuccessful. it's too hard on you!! and it makes it really hard to enjoy this phase of mother hood.
    hang in there! we've all been through it! it's tough stuff, but you will find a routine and it will get easier.
    go with the flow babe, it's the easiest way! babes are like a deck of cards, you get what you get, and then work your hand around it, that's the only way sometimes!!
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    just an aside, and not directed at you OP, but why does our culture subliminally imply that we are WEAK if we don't MAKE our babes conform to a CONVENIENT schedule. rachel's mommy is not alone in feeling that she is somehow wussy or weak or a pushover if she doesn't manage to train her babe to accept being laid down and sleep for ages. i felt that way TOO with my first. i went to great lengths to hide the fact that we coslept, and i carried a degree of shame in it for a long time. NO LONGER! i have come out of the cosleeping closet. and now i dare say I ENJOYED IT! *gasp* i am no shrinking violet, no weak willed nilly willy, but i shuddered at the thought of defending that parental choice i made.
    it's ridiculous, our culture is MESSED UP! these messages are so strong, and we have to fight so much programming to follow our instincts. i would have enjoyed those early months SO MUCH MORE if i hadn't felt i had to hide the fact that i was UNABLE to MAKE him go in his crib. it makes me so mad. SO MAD.
    that's all. rant over.
    ~"Just because I have strong opinions, does not mean I judge. Do not mistake passion for judgment. For you might find you are the one doing the judging". ~ Unknown

  10. #25
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    I'd just start with some logical things that might be making her wake a few minutes after you put her down. For example, if she's elevated in your arms or a swing and then she's laying flat, that will maybe wake her up. So what about propping the crib up a bit with a rolled up towel under the mattress.
    Or, put a receiving blanket or something like that between you and her when she's on your shoulder or whereever. Then when you lay her down, she's still laying on yoru scent and your warmth, in the blanket.
    If you are generally jiggling or rocking when holding her, then she goes to just plain stillness, stand and pat her a bit after you lay her down, and stop it very gradually. Make it a gradual put-down instead of abrupt.
    Or if she's being put in a quiet room instead of out about with all the noise of big sibling, eithe rput hte bassinet in the main living area or do something for background noise. Music, white noise machine, leave her door open, whatever.

    I held my babies LOTS. But, I do agree that you want them to get a more restful sleep sometimes and/or need your body free for other things you could do while they sleep, like bathe or shower or playing with your older child.
    A sling is another option but they never worked for me, I preferred baby be either in my actual physical arms, or someplace safe. I tried a sling a bit with ds but kept bonking his head places, or couldn't reach to do stuff because my arms are so short with him added to my like depth, I couldn't do much.
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    Hmmmmm......I have been monitoring the thread......many valid and important points raised, lots of great clarifications made.

    As I said before, my DD is also 7 weeks and we are also struggling with WHERE she sleeps. She really will only sleep in the swing (and that is only if I can slip her in there when she has fallen asleep in my arms), or in the sling (which she likes), or, in bed with me. While I understand the points made previously about why I should not be concerned about this at this age, I personally am not comfortable with a baby sleeping in my bed, nor do I want to sleep with her. My DD is VERY loud...she snorts and grunts and thrashes her head back and forth all night. There is no way I can sleep with her in the bed, or even with her in the room. Yes, I have tried ear plugs, but it is not effective as then I cannot hear my older DD down the hall, who also does not sleep through the night. Co-sleeping is not something that is an option for me. I know she is too young to cry it out for a long period of time......but I am not opposed to sleep training when it is appropriate.

    I am wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to get her to sleep in her crib? I have tried swaddling....it works sometimes, but she only sleeps a couple hours......tried putting my shirt in bed with her, tried putting her between two rolled up towels to mimic being held against me....tried elevating the mattress in case reflux was the problem..... it has been most effective to put her on her stomach (she has slept up to 5-6 hours straight that way-and only that way) but, now she does not seem to like that any longer?! She wakes as soon as put down......last night it was almost 1 am before I was able to put her down and then she was up ever 2 hours till morning......turning me into a zombie.

  12. #27
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    Thanks Laurensmom for your comments and your obvious commitment to doing what is best for you anf your LO- I understand your dilemma and feel what you are going through. Obviously it is not a black and white situation and everyone has their own opinions. We don't live in an ideal world and sometimes we just have to be realistic about our limitations and do the best that we can.
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    Quote Originally Posted by hinagal View Post
    just an aside, and not directed at you OP, but why does our culture subliminally imply that we are WEAK if we don't MAKE our babes conform to a CONVENIENT schedule. rachel's mommy is not alone in feeling that she is somehow wussy or weak or a pushover if she doesn't manage to train her babe to accept being laid down and sleep for ages. i felt that way TOO with my first. i went to great lengths to hide the fact that we coslept, and i carried a degree of shame in it for a long time. NO LONGER! i have come out of the cosleeping closet. and now i dare say I ENJOYED IT! *gasp* i am no shrinking violet, no weak willed nilly willy, but i shuddered at the thought of defending that parental choice i made.
    it's ridiculous, our culture is MESSED UP! these messages are so strong, and we have to fight so much programming to follow our instincts. i would have enjoyed those early months SO MUCH MORE if i hadn't felt i had to hide the fact that i was UNABLE to MAKE him go in his crib. it makes me so mad. SO MAD.
    that's all. rant over.
    I gel with this. ITA. Well said.
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  14. #29
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    try a wrap, my babe slept wonderfully in it and i had hands free for the kids.
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    I haven't read all the previous posts. If you are not sleeping well with her in your bed, try putting her in the bassinet during the daytime, even awake while you do something in the room. Lay her down on a piece of clothing you have worn all day, she will be comforted by your smell.

    You could try one of those things that you put in the middle between you and your DH/SO and put the baby in that ?

    I think your babe is just enjoying the closeness and I don't think it is possible to spoil a baby. I had never co slept with any of my kiddos and then came Noah I was breastfeeding and I had a really hard time putting him into his crib. It felt right for me to hold him and sleep in the same bed as him. He went into his crib easily, because I started using it for cat naps at about 6 weeks on. When I was folding laundry and cleaning my room, I would put him in the crib awake with the mobile on. When he was 6 months old, he started to get restless in our bed and we started putting him in his crib no problem

    hugs and I hope everyone gets some sleep at your house

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