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  1. #1
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    Default Need help to be strong

    So it is not as dire as the title sounds but I seriously need help to get a backbone because I am a big wuss. My dd who is almost 7 weeks old has only slept in her bassinet maybe 3 or 4 times. She either sleeps in our arms, on our bed or in a swing. If we try to put her down she might last for maybe 5 minutes or so and then she wakes up and that's it. Help! I want her to start to be able to sleep consistently in a bassinet by herself and I think that I should do it earlier than later (plus I think that it where she will get the best sleep as well).

    So, please help me to not be so soft! I will admit that for my own sanity I need to do this as well! I think that I am just afraid to go through that inevitable crying process as well but I know that it must be done.

    Help me to be strong!

    Any suggestions or tips are welcomed as well!
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  2. #2
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    She's only 7 weeks old.

    The crying process does not have to be “inevitable“. Figure out how you all get the most sleep and go with that. She's not trying to manipulate you and you're not causing any “bad habits“ at all. She needs her mama, that's all.
    "Show me your horse and I will tell you who you are." -- Old English Saying

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    Go with what works for you and baby! My babies slept next to me or in my arms for the first three months, and then next to my bed. There is no time limit to this! DD loved her swing and if it meant I got sleep it was the BEST place she could sleep. I did fold up some flannels for behind her to make it softer tho. If you are reading a book that tells you the baby needs to sleep in its crib or if someone is pressuring you to do so....its time to get a new book or buy earplugs!!!


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    OMG We have the same problem. Our DD is 7 weeks as well! I understand your want to put her in the bassinette. I can't get a good night sleep with her in our bed with us. I have no suggestions for you.......just know you are not the only one with those worries.

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    I don't think that she is trying to manipulate me, no one is pressuring me and I didn't read this in a book.

    I truly believe that she is not getting the best sleep when she is being held or in a swing. I am by no means “hardcore“ about this at all. I would just like to implement changes because I think that she would have more sound sleep in a bassinet. I also have a 4 year-old so it is not realistic for me to be able to have a sleeping baby in my arms with another child around (ie- it wakes the baby up and she ends up getting broken sleep). She sleeps great at night so it is not really an issue of just having to do what I have to do to get sleep as well- most days I am quite lucky that I feel well rested.

    I just would like her to start getting more consistency with her sleeping because I think that would help her and it would be easier to start doing it now as opposed to when she is a bit older.

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    Quote Originally Posted by laurensmom View Post
    OMG We have the same problem. Our DD is 7 weeks as well! I understand your want to put her in the bassinette. I can't get a good night sleep with her in our bed with us. I have no suggestions for you.......just know you are not the only one with those worries.
    Thanks for your support! I guess we will have to monitor this thread together to see if anyone has any tips!

    Good luck to you and I hope that you are able to get some rest soon!
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    Get a sling?
    "Show me your horse and I will tell you who you are." -- Old English Saying

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    My tips: swaddle her tightly when you are holding her and when you lie her down she might not know that you have left. Place a shirt that you have been wearing next to her so that she can smell it.
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    We tried the sling and she didn't go for it (unfortunately). She is a baby that doesn't like to be confined at all. She often likes to be put down in her bassinet just to have some down time from us. As weird as it sounds, after a while she doesn't like to be held (it took us a while to figure that out!) so that is why I also think that she will do well in the bassinet.

    Thank you for your suggestions!
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    It's too early to do sleep training that involves crying, even if you believe in that sort of thing. Even Ferber says 6 mos I believe. Definitely not 7 weeks...

    She wants to be with you, and physiologically she cannot/should not be forced or trained to sleep more deeply than she is ready for. That is actually dangerous, as studies of SIDS demonstrate a connection to overly deep sleep, and separation from the mother, whose breathing they atune to.

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    We used a swaddle me blanket because we found when we wrapped her she would work her way out of the blanket and then start crying. With the swaddle me blanket she stayed nice and wrapped until she fell into a deep sleep so she was not “jerking“ herself awake when she was falling asleep. We used this until she was 6 months old.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel'smommy View Post
    We tried the sling and she didn't go for it (unfortunately). She is a baby that doesn't like to be confined at all. She often likes to be put down in her bassinet just to have some down time from us. As weird as it sounds, after a while she doesn't like to be held (it took us a while to figure that out!) so that is why I also think that she will do well in the bassinet.
    Well it sounds like she knows best what she needs, yes? You seem to be listening to her cues -- I'm not sure of your reason to change that?

    I'd try to swaddle her and see if that gives her more comfort. Mine would never be swaddled, it wasn't her style, lol.

    Also, when dd was very young she didn't like the sling, either. I kept trying, though -- after 3 months when she had more head control she really loved it. In fact, she lived in it for the next, uh, 18 months or so.
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrrah View Post
    It's too early to do sleep training that involves crying, even if you believe in that sort of thing. Even Ferber says 6 mos I believe. Definitely not 7 weeks...

    She wants to be with you, and physiologically she cannot/should not be forced or trained to sleep more deeply than she is ready for. That is actually dangerous, as studies of SIDS demonstrate a connection to overly deep sleep, and separation from the mother, whose breathing they atune to.
    I don't think that I am trying to force or train her to do anything that I don't believe comes naturally to infants. Honestly I don't think that it is within my power to make my baby sleep any deeper than she is already inclined to naturally. I don't think that there is such a thing as overly deep sleep (to my knowledge anyhow.).

    This is more about where she is sleeping and her getting quality sleep as opposed to broken and very light sleeping. Studies have also shown how important it is for babies' development and brains to be able to have a deeper state of sleep as well.
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    Broken and light sleep is natural for them at that age.

    You're not supposed to leave them to cry so young, pretty much everyone agrees with that. They can't understand it, and so it is cruel as it causes needless suffering.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dressage mom View Post
    Well it sounds like she knows best what she needs, yes? You seem to be listening to her cues -- I'm not sure of your reason to change that?

    I'd try to swaddle her and see if that gives her more comfort. Mine would never be swaddled, it wasn't her style, lol.

    Also, when dd was very young she didn't like the sling, either. I kept trying, though -- after 3 months when she had more head control she really loved it. In fact, she lived in it for the next, uh, 18 months or so.
    Unfortunately mine does not liked to be swaddled either!

    Hmmm...I will have to maybe revisit the sling with her again when she is bigger. Thanks for the hope!
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