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  1. #1
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    Default Wean or tandem? Feels like a lose- lose.

    So weaning my toddler is not going well. I cut out feedings slowly and gradually and replaced them with milk and love as best I could. But my toddler is not taking it well! My normal easy going little guy has become super attached, clinging and crying at all times. He freaks out if I'm in a different room and refuses to do any activity without me (except watch tv ). Instead of decreasing the amount of asking, he is asking for nursing constantly. Maybe he's teething or going through a phase or something else but on the other hand maybe cutting him back to 4 nursings is too much for him. He's normal the easiest toddler I've met and he's become babyzilla of out the blue. So I guess I'm going to put the weaning on hold and try again later. But I'm running out of time here! My milk has pretty well dried up but the boy is happy to nurse anyways.
    I *reallly* don't want to nurse 2 at once. But if it's between that and turning my sweet little guy into monster baby then that's what I'll chose.
    I'm just so frustrated!

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  2. #2
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! mamabear's Avatar
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    Ohh I hear you! I really want mine weaned before this next one is born, I'm so not interested in tandeming. Besideswhich, DD is 3.5 and I've always said I wanted her weaned by 4. Not exactly the same situation though, since she's older and doesn't nurse very much anymore, but I have to figure out a way to just cut her off completely with enough time before the baby is born that she doesn't realize the connection. I don't anticipate she will let go peacefully. LOL!

    Hope someone has some good advice here.

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    I nursed till I was due in 4 months (it was right around her 2nd birthday), I wanted to give enough time that DD wouldn't be super jelous of her little sister, but I didn't want to cut too soon for no reason when I didn't mind nursing her.

    You know what you can handle, I knew I didn't want to tandem, I don't really love nursing (though my DD was 2 in June and still going..go figure, lol).

    I did with my oldest not cut her off all at once, I started saying she could have “just a taste“ let her on to nurse for a few mins( the whole time saying "your almost done, just a taste, just a taste then say ALL DONE!" the quickly move her on to something ie" go grab a book" if she wanted more")..cut it down gradually to a couple minutes, eventually to seconds as time went on till her being weaned was not a huge issue for her. If she ever really wanted to nurse I would give her a quick taste. She even wanted a taste when I had the baby and didn't like it, lol... the key is once you start this don't give in and go back to the longer sessions but do start gradually like I said cutting the sessions shorter and shorter as time goes on.
    Last edited by my2babies; 11-26-2009 at 06:56 PM.

  4. #4
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    Yeah I don't know the answer I'm sorry to say!

  5. #5
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    yeah this is definitely one of the negatives of having babes too close together! I think it will be great because I want DS to have someone to play with other than me and the sooner the better But, I didn't anticipate he would become so attached to the boob! It's like baby crack :S. I think I'm just going to totally stop refusing nursings for the holidays (melt down at grandmas? no thanks!) but continue with extra TLC and re-evaluate.

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  6. #6
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    I wasnt going to tandum. Was planning to wear before Evalynn came..... well didnt happen. I decided I didnt want her coming to make the decision for him. I honestly hoped my milk drying up would encourage him to stop..... nope. Now here having two, nursin two, it really isnt that bad. I would do it again this way in a second. Now Aden has some other issues of asking constantly now that we are trying to work out, but I think that is more due to his age after talking with myrrah.

    I have also heard of kids rejecting it when it turns into colostrum. I dont know what to say, definately went through the decision myself though.
    Mommy to DS Jan '06, DD July '09, DS Feb '11, DD Dec '12
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    See, mine almost weaned right about 20 weeks and then colostrum came in and she was thrilled. I actually posted on MDC that she seemed about to wean, and an hour and a half later literally!!! she was saying, 'mama the sides are making a yummy and strange milk.' and that was the end of the weaning.

    i found tandeming good and bad. she got crazy about nursing and had to be limited in a really straightforward way otherwise i would have been nursing two newborns again man.

    but otoh they were really sweet nursing together. m is convinced she taught z how to nurse, and she still remembers nursing together and sharing. i sometimes would do playbyplays in a sportscaster voice about 'the nursing team' and 'the biggest member' and 'the littlest member.' things like 'the biggest member is nursing along, yes she is doing wonderfully at it. the littlest member is trying to catch up but unfortunately she keeps falling asleep.' lmao!! it was hilarious.

  8. #8
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    I will nurse both at the same time and I believe it was a total bonding experience. Aden would stroke her hair and just look at her.
    Mommy to DS Jan '06, DD July '09, DS Feb '11, DD Dec '12
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    I weaned my son off the breast when I was a few months pregnant with Z.. He was miserable, but I got really emotionally sick when I was pregnant and couldnt handle breastfeeding anymore. WHen Z was born, he would ask if he could nurse again. I let him, he would only nurse at naps and such. I think tandem nursing is such a wonderful experience to have. I would tell you to go that way, tandem all the way, but its your choice. You know what you can handle and cant handle.

    Candace~ Christ-clinging, babywearing, tiedying, barefoot, nature loving, crunchy mamma of three~

  10. #10
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    I weaned my 2 yo when I was 3 months pregnant. I actually wouldn't have minded going tandem, but nursing became incredibly painful when I was pregnant, to the point that I would be crying and biting my finger while nursing him. He was only nursing once a day at that point, which helped and he did ok with me limiting his time on the boob more and more without actually refusing. Eventually he told me that the milk was “all-gone“ and that was the end of it.
    Now with the new baby he seems to not remember nursing at all which I find kind of sad.

    I would do tandem over the monster baby unless there is another good reason to wean, especially since he is so young.

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