Poll: What age for Dating?

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  1. #16
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    I would think about it at 15 but it would depend on the child and on what constitutes “a date“
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  2. #17
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! mamabear's Avatar
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    Wow, I'm pretty surprised at the responses here! I'm the only one who voted under 12?

    Definitely most of my friends were dating at 11 or 12, some at 10. It was holding hands while hanging out with friends, maybe the occasional peck and/or group date. I think it's good for them to get some practice before they get into anything serious.

    I wasn't allowed to date so I snuck around.

    I would allow DD to date at maybe 11 (? we will see when the time comes what I think she'd ready for), but just set age-appropriate rules on what specifically dating would involve.

  3. #18
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    I'd talk to her and ask her why she wants to start dating. Is it because everyone else is doing it, or because it's cool? Or is she actually attracted to and romantically interested in a particular boy (or girl) (or boys (/girls) in general) in her own right? Has she hit puberty (and thus the feelings associated with it) yet?

    I don't think dating/delving into amourous relationships/situations out of peer pressure is necessarily desirable. I'd likely discourage her from doing that, and encourage her to be true to herself and her own feelings rather than letting peer pressure or coolness influence what she does romantically.

    But if it's more a matter that she genuinely wants to develop such a relationship for her own reasons (eg, because she genuinely likes a guy, rather than because “liking“ guys and dating is “cool“), then I'd listen to and respect that, and do my best to offer her guidance as she enters this new phase/aspect of her life. (Whether that advice would be to wait, or to date with certain perameters, or what have you, I can't really say -- it'd depend on the situation, your daughter as an individual, etc.)
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  4. #19
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    My first “date“ I was in grade 7 and we went to see a movie, while my dates dad sat 3 rows behind us.

    I think 14 is a good age for dating, still with a few restrictions.
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  5. #20
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    I think 15 is a fair age to go on dates with a boy. to the movies or out bowling in a non-group activity.

  6. #21
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    gee I didnt even have interest in guys till I was 12..and then it was only to look and dream about lmao.
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  7. #22
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    I had a boyfriend at 15... So 15/16 seems reasonable to me.

    I did go on the occasional date before that though at 13 and 14 (to grade 8 grad, semi-formal, etc), just wasn't ready to actually date someone and all the responsibility that goes along with it.

  8. #23
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    I was 14 on my first date (movies, my dad drove and picked me up). First real boyfriend at 15. I'm not sure what we'll do, but I can't imagine allowing them dating before 14, way too young IMO.
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  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by totallyawake View Post
    I agree it depends on the child, the maturity and what they are looking for in having a 'boyfriend'.

    Remembering my youth - I would say regardless of the age ... once they start 'group dating' where they are hanging out in groups - they could be 'dating' and hiding it if you are outlawing single boyfriend dates ... cause kids will find a way!

    IMO buidling trust and open communication around what is happening in their lives is the best line of defense - so that you can offer the information and resources needed to deal with the choice they are going to be making REGARDLESS of what we want for them ... my best friends parents 'outlawed' dating when we were in Junior high - grades 6 - 8 .... even though everyone else was pairing up into 'boyfriend-girlfriend' in the innocent hand holding and pecking hello and good -bye ... and in her definance to being 'left out' resulted in 'lying/hiding it' so she would go out as a 'group' with her boyfriend ...and because her parents didnt have open communication about what goes on with 'dating' and the stages and levels and so forth but just 'banned' it and she was so darned interested in finding out what she was missing out on that it had to be 'outlawed' that she had sex at 12 with a 14 year old boy just to show them they could not 'ban' her from doing anything

    I am so not looking forward to when my DSS discovers 'girls'!


    I agree. Having been one of the “young“ ones going on a date, I was 12. We went with one of his friends and his “girlfriend“. His dad drove us to the movies. We went to the movies, he went to the peeler bar. My parents knew where I was and gave me a curfew. I was also doing things that a 12 year old had no business doing, let alone knowing. I think as long as there's open communication (which I know you have with her) and her ability to realize what is acceptable behaviour on a “date“ and what is not, then you should go with your gut. I know my 12 year old boy has no business taking a girl out on a date, but my 6 year old, once she turns 12, may be different. Same with the 9 year old. Like suggested, talk with her. Ask what she thinks is an acceptable “date“. What she thinks a boyfriend really is. Then go from there. You have a very smart girl on your hands, it's better to get things flowing now, then to wait and find out the hard way. GL!

  10. #25
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    I had a 'boyfriend' when I was 14. My parents forbade dating until 16 but they knew this guy really super well since we'd been friends since childhood so while they didn't approve they probably knew since we spent a lot of time together. It never went any further than a peck though.

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  11. #26
    Senior Member Satin_Thoughts's Avatar
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    I said 15... but I had my first bf at 14 lol

    I think Highschool is a good idea... Girls I knew in 8th grade were “dating“ boys but... it wasn't even really dating... I plan on telling my DD we'll talk about it in highschool LoL
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  12. #27
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    Yeah I'm pretty firm on the highschool for boyfriends. She has gone to the movies with groups of friends ect.
    She really only does sleepovers with just girls, the rest of the time there are tons of boys around. Boys have been asking her to date since she was 10!

    Thanks for all the advice I really appreciate all the input

  13. #28
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    I had boyfriends way too young!! My SO says later, much later!!!

  14. #29
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    I had my first boyfriend when I was 12. My parents didn't know. We never went out on dates by ourselves. We hung out with friends. It was very innocent. Then I met my highschool sweetheart in grade 9. It was not so innocent, and I'm happily married to him today.

    I think 13-14 sounds like a reasonable age?? I really have no idea, because fortunately I'm not even close to this stage.

  15. #30
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    I see in the schools that most kids have bf/gf by grade 7/8. I'm not sure that most see each other outside of school.

    I think actual dates, with kissing would be better in highschool. But it depends how she views it - if she just sees it as “hanging out“ with a boy and using the term bf then it wouldn't be a big deal - not alone in a dark theatre or in a room, but going to the park or with a group would be ok at 12/13.

    But I see most kids having bf/gf even in grade 4 - but its more just in name then anything - no dates or spending time together - maybe just talking on phone.

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