Poll: What age for Dating?

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  1. #1
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    Default What age for dating ?

    poll coming


    Makayla's friends are all dating and boys have been asking Makayla for years literally.

    I've told her she is too young. Is she?

    I know that this year it is going to be a bigger issue then ever.

    So far we've told her we will visit the subject when she is in high school. That's next year!!

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    As I said in the other thread - I had a boyfriend in Gr 8 - actually in Grade 7 but we mainly just hung out with other kids or hung out with each other and played video games etc at first. We ended up “dating“ for 5 years. At the time I thought I was so grown up etc. Now as a parent I don't know if I would be as “cool“ as my parents were about it.

    It's so hard - I don't even want to deal with this stuff - I hope my kids never grow up.

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    I had a bf in gr 8, well the summer between gr 8 and 9. Honestly I never even thought to ask. It was never discussed.
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    I would probably be okay driving my girl to the movies and stuff by 14.

    Nothing unsupervised or alone though.

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    The more I think about it I'd let her with some restrictions. Group dating, at your house/his house with parents, meet him first, meet parents first - those sorts of things. You dont wan it to be too strict (not that 13 and not allow is strict) and have her dating people without you knowing. Teens will sneak around.
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    I don't think there is anything wrong with having close guy friends, as for dating yikes i have no idea what to say. our son really isnt 'into' girls yet. they were both informed that the first year of HS is to be dedicated to their grades and not their social life. after that well. hard to say.

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    It all depends on what bf is to her. When I was in elementry school almost everyone had “bfs“ but they would like talk on the phone and hold hands.

    Maybe a peck type kiss by gr8, but others I know were very adventures by that age. I personally wasn't allowed a bf till gr9 and although sometimes I hated that I also liked that it was an easy way out of getting asked by guys you didnt like lol
    ...and in that moment I swear we were infinite.

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    I think going out in a group is ok, but if i had my way dating would start at 20. I think dating on your own maybe fourteen or fifteen, but I never asked and had a boyfriend in grade 6.

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    Makayla's group of friends are both guys and girls. She talks on the phone msn with both, Both come over and hang out in our back yard or basement.
    Well not boys on their own hanging out but a group of both boys and girls.

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    im gonna say I see no issue in gr 8 with it, my mom outlawed dating (well she outlawed everything) I can tell you by not being allowed just made me find ways to do it anyways and I did alot of things I probably would not have becasue of it

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    I don't know... I voted 15, but am thinking that it's hard to pick some arbitrary number. Each child is different and ready for different things at different ages.

    You know your child. Put some faith in that.

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    13 is too young imop..i say when they are high school which is usaually 14?
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    I thnk it depends on her concept of dating and boyfriends. If it is just someone to doodle their name next to yours, maybe hold hands with, sit next to at the movies, or so on, then fine. But if its' someone to make out with, spend a lot of time alone with, adapt yourself to please, etc then nope.

    So basically, ask her. What is dating? what is a boyfriend? Ask her if she sees any difference in a boyfriend at 13, and one at 16, or 18. Explain to her your concerns and why you'd allow what you will, and set some clear guidelines. In my sister's grade, everyone dated by that age. In my grade, no one did, except a few but it was literally just in words. They never saw each other outside of school (course we ere not in the city).
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    I would say probably 13 but defintely wouldn't let them be alone together anytime soon
    "Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way." Janet Fitch (White Oleander)

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    I agree it depends on the child, the maturity and what they are looking for in having a 'boyfriend'.

    Remembering my youth - I would say regardless of the age ... once they start 'group dating' where they are hanging out in groups - they could be 'dating' and hiding it if you are outlawing single boyfriend dates ... cause kids will find a way!

    IMO buidling trust and open communication around what is happening in their lives is the best line of defense - so that you can offer the information and resources needed to deal with the choice they are going to be making REGARDLESS of what we want for them ... my best friends parents 'outlawed' dating when we were in Junior high - grades 6 - 8 .... even though everyone else was pairing up into 'boyfriend-girlfriend' in the innocent hand holding and pecking hello and good -bye ... and in her definance to being 'left out' resulted in 'lying/hiding it' so she would go out as a 'group' with her boyfriend ...and because her parents didnt have open communication about what goes on with 'dating' and the stages and levels and so forth but just 'banned' it and she was so darned interested in finding out what she was missing out on that it had to be 'outlawed' that she had sex at 12 with a 14 year old boy just to show them they could not 'ban' her from doing anything

    I am so not looking forward to when my DSS discovers 'girls'!

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