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  1. #1
    New Member sophiev's Avatar
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    Default Did Daycare 'Change' Your Child?

    My son is starting daycare in 2 weeks and I'm so scared, nervous and anxious. He's 21 months old and I stayed home with him and had a home daycare for the past year. He's very social, loves other children, sleeps and eats well but is quite attached to me. I'm very happy with the centre we've chosen and I know he's going to be fine after an adjustment period so why am I so worried. I'm worried he's going to change...get more aggressive, not be as loving, hate us because we sent him to daycare. I'm going back to school and am very excited to start this new chapter in my life but I feel so guilty.

    So many of my friends say 'oh, it's normal just get over it.' Even my husband thinks I'm crazy. Did your kids change after going to daycare? Am I over reacting?

  2. #2
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    I am a SAHM and we still send out LO to daycare one day a week. For her, she was attached at the hip to me. It has worked out well, she has become more social, interacts with other kids better and she sort of looks forward to going every week. She always tells me she doesn't want to go, but after I pick her up and we are driving home she tells me she had fun. Through the week she will say I have to tell ____ that I did this etc.

    I felt guilty for the first little while and now I kinda look forward to it. I know she is well looked after and having fun and I enjoy my break from her as well. (I hope that doesn't sound awful.)

  3. #3
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    I think daycare is great! They learn alot and get to interact with many kids the same age. I think its good for social skills as well. I love that my children go to daycare I would never change it.

  4. #4
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    I feel that daycare/nursery school is a great experience for children. DS1 went into daycare at 14 months and stayed there until he was able to start nursery school and I was on Mat leave. Then I decided to be a SAHM but I wanted DS1 to be in Nursery School 5 mornings a week. Now DS2 is old enough to attend Nursery School too but the toddler program this fall is only 2 days a week. I will have both children in nursery school this year, only mornings. I am curious to see DS2 who is 18 months on how he will respond to Nursery School as he has been with me as his primary caregiver during the week since he was born. I am hoping that both DS1 and DS2 are going to school together that DS2 will just follow DS1's lead on what to do. With our Nursery School they have the first day where the parent(s) come in for part of the time and then the next time the parents drop off their child and leave and pick them up in 3 hours. Ahhh my baby is growing up...
    Last edited by Granola; 08-24-2009 at 02:10 PM.
    Granola is a Mum to 2 wonderful boys

  5. #5
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    I understand the concern you are feeling right now. I was in such panic in the months leading up to DS starting daycare. And I was concerned about the very same things. My DS was always very attached to me...was fairly social, but still a bit anxious and tentative. very gentle personality too...I was worried that he would change; that he would become too 'street smart', LOL...and i was worried that it would affect my bond with him. i also worried about the opposite happening: that he would get MORE clingy and anxious and that maybe it would be really drastic for him.

    he did really well....he really flourished there; he learned so much and i think it really helped him socially. my hunch is still that he would have been more shy and anxious if he had not had the exposure at daycare. not that i'm saying that all shy kids need daycare or anything...but i just saw really positive changes. and it was a really happy feeling to see him run to me when i picked him up at the end of the day and we talked about all the fun things he did and the friends he played with.

    so it was a really positive experience for DS...(and me, lol) but i totally understand what you're feeling. having said that, yes i think it's normal to feel that way, but that does NOT mean “get over it“....it's a legitimate feeling, it is a natural feeling to have about this big step! so you don't need to fight it or get over it...but just know that it will get better
    "My mind is going a mile an hour."

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    totally taught both my guys how to speak properly, and how to go to the bathroom.

  7. #7
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    DD started going so young (5 months) that she really didn't seem to notice that I was gone at first. She was/is fascinated with other kids and loves the social aspect of being there. I don't think it's changed her. I think it has allowed her a place to interact with other kids (she's an only child so far) and to have some guidance and structure in her day. I started her in daycare b/c I was going back to school too. I was worried/stressed/sad about it, but realized quickly that it what was best for our family. Good luck with everything!

  8. #8
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    Both of my kids loved Daycare and it helped them grow to be more confident, outgoing, and caring of others. DD is 4 and is begging to go back to daycare (I take her out for the summers since I am off).

  9. #9
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Daycare helped DS in a lot of ways...made him more assertive, helped with toilet training, he became more outgoing and confident, taught him how to be a friend.
    I think it's completely reasonable of you to be worried about your little guy starting. Give it a bit of time--chances are he'll adjust fine and you'll be happy with it. But trust your instincts about it once he's there.

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