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Thread: nursing support

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Default nursing support

    Okay ladies.. I need a little bit of nursing support

    My MIL, never nursed her babies. She had children during the time when it wasn't the thing to do, iykwim? So now that Nathan is almost 6months old, I'm getting slack from her, and I have been since he was four months old.. when are you going ot switch him to forumla! I let other peoples opinions interfear with my nursing relationship with Matthew, that ultimately made me wean him way earlier than I wanted to. So I'm very proud of myself that now at almost six months I am still nursing Nathan, and he hasn't had solids yet, minus a couple tbs of cereal that MIL gave him ( even tho we told her not too..but thats another story!) , and whatever Matthew has tried to feed him when we aren't looking!(HAH!)

    So tonight when we were there for dinner, she starts to ask about when am I going to wean Nathan,blah blah blah. Honestly, I don't know when I'm going to wean him, but he still digs nursing big time ( hes such a boobie man!) and for the most part I am still enjoying our nursing relationship ( its sometimes frustrating because I wish I could just hand him off etc etc.. normal feelings I think though, right?! lol)

    And after listening to the hospital LC tell me, and my DR tell me that I probably would never be able to get him to nurse in the first place, I feel as if we've done great! Cause let me tell ya ladies.. he certainly knows how to latch and nurse now!!

    Anyways.. just looking for some support and ideas on how some of you deal with people being nosey and interfearing with your nursing relationships with your LOs!

    Thanks in advance!

    Leigh

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Woot! Good for you.

    I'm nursing a 3 year old now, so I've had my share of people being critical, not getting it, etc. I try to surround myself with ppl who DO get it, DO see the value in extended bf. I go to LLL when I really need a dose of the pro-bf vibe, but most of my friends are hippie AP mamas and are totally cool. Which is fabulous.

    I find I can get stressed out if I'm around people who are critical of something I think is good and important, no matter what it is. Gotta balance it out with ppl who get where you are coming from and see things in similar ways.

    You rock mama!! Keep nursing that baby, as long as you both want to.
    LondonMoms has really gone downhill, ever since they started chit chatting in the home and garden forum. There is a place for chit chat, people!!!

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    Junior Member miasmom's Avatar
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    I have been nursing Mia for (almost) 14 months and definatly still counting!! I give a big shout out to you for not listening to her! You can do it!! I totally agree with PP that you should surround yourself with like-minded people. I attend LLL every tuesday in St.Thomas and have LOADS of support from people who feel the same way as me...breast is best! Keep up with it as long as you feel comfortable..not as long as others feel comfortable!!!





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    Expert Forum User flamingogirl's Avatar
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    Good for you for giving your baby what is best for him-mother's milk! You should be proud of your determination to nurse him when other's thought it not possible, and for continuing it into 6 months. I love nursing my 6 month old and hope it continues for awhile...it's such a special bond! I too only started introducing some cereal and pureed veggies about 2 weeks ago, so you're not alone!

    As for your mother-in-law, I would either tell hubby to tell her to back off, or tell her yourself (in a nice way of course). Maybe even bring her some research that shows her that what you are doing IS the best thing for your baby, since she obviously is misinformed.
    Mama to TWO little sweetie pies!!







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    I think its wonderful that you are nursing and plan to continue. I really wish that nursing had worked out better for me or that I had gone and found better support than I had for it. You need to let your MIL know that its a normal, natural thing to do, give her reading material on it, or get your husband to talk to her about backing off. Otherwise one day you will probably explode while she is going at you about weaning.
    Hang in there and know that you are doing what is best for your baby!
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    Junior Member thesods's Avatar
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    I would just tell her that nursing is very important to you, the health unit things it's best for him, and that it makes you feel like she doesn't approve of you as a mother/your choices when she makes comments about weaning.

    I've found when you say things like that it takes the steam out of another person's arguments. When you try to convince them with facts- it's just one opinion against another. When you blow up or say something harsh then you find yourself in a battle. But if you let her know (preferably in front of DH so sees how you handled it firsthand) her comments hurt- well- doesn't she just look like a meany if she keeps at you!!

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    I've even said to my Gramma, who was fully convinced my baby was going to die of starvation if I bf'ed her with no formula: "Gramma, that's just what people DO now. Everyone is doing it, like all of my friends. Things change, it's different now."

    Then she talked about how she tried to nurse, but "Oh, it hurt from the tips of my toes, all the way up. I don't know what the problem was." I said, "Well nowadays they teach women how to nurse so it doesn't hurt. It's all changed."

    She seemed really satisfied with that. I think what it did for her was hint that perhaps there is something missing that was not known then, that is known now. It wasn't personal, like she was wrong. But that times change, and maybe there is something good to this bf thing after all. Plus the baby was content so that seemed to cement for her that no big damage was being done, that she was not in fact starving to death.

    Since then she has been amused that my child is STILL nursing. LOL That started at 6 mos and has continued right the way up until now.
    LondonMoms has really gone downhill, ever since they started chit chatting in the home and garden forum. There is a place for chit chat, people!!!

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    Default BF

    My mom never breastfed us, and when she came to visit we talked about it, and she had been reading about the benefits and was sorry she had missed her opportunity. We both agree that moms do the best that they can with the information they have available at the time, and right now we all know BF is the best thing you can do. Maybe if she didn't feel like she was wrong for not doing it? Maybe that's part of her problem.

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    Tell your MIL point blank to "Stuff It!" or However long YOU choose to breastfeed YOUR child(ren) is no ones's business but YOURS!

    Have you brought up the WHO standards yet? Now might be a good time

    I had the opposite experience - I was unable to BF (long story told elsewhere on here) and my FIL kept harping on me as to why I wasn't. It drove me to tears.

    Stick to your guns, er, Boobies!
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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Thanks ladies!

    I will talk to DH and ask him to speak to her the next time she says something about it!


    The funny part is, she laughs at how chubby he is, and she and her busband both say he needs to go on a diet! lol..

    Ahh.. the joys of ILs!

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    Default Re: BF

    Quote Originally Posted by lulismommy
    My mom never breastfed us, and when she came to visit we talked about it, and she had been reading about the benefits and was sorry she had missed her opportunity. We both agree that moms do the best that they can with the information they have available at the time, and right now we all know BF is the best thing you can do. Maybe if she didn't feel like she was wrong for not doing it? Maybe that's part of her problem.
    Yes. I think this is a BIG part of the criticism of older generations. They grieve what they missed without knowing. I think it can be hard to see new mothers now, with more information, more opportunity, doing things differently.
    LondonMoms has really gone downhill, ever since they started chit chatting in the home and garden forum. There is a place for chit chat, people!!!

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! mamabear's Avatar
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    Tell her that the Canadian Paediatric Society, Health Canada, the Dieticians of Canada, and the World Health Organization all recommend breastfeeding *exclusively* (as in with no baby food or anything) for the first 6 months, and then along with other foods for 2 years and beyond.

    I don't think there's anything she can really say to that. :P

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    I had a lot of slack too - even from DH! I used to quote stats, as mentioned above but to be honest everytime someone questioned me it made me want to pull out a boob and nurse DD right then and there. I tend to get stronger with opposition. Go figure. With DH I just told him it was something between DD and me and that he had no say. She ended up self weaning when I got preggo with #2. Soooooo glad I hung in there. You can do it too - until you and DS decided it's time to stop.

    In regards to your wanting a break sometimes - this is totally normal. I would take a break and DH would give her a bottle of formula. I hated pumping and DD had no problem switching back and forth. Just remember that this is not an all or nothing situation... again, whatever works for you and your baby is what is right for YOU.

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    Ha! I love that stronger with opposition skill. Fabulous, I wish I had more of that.

    My daughter's father was not thrilled about the bf for a long time, and that bothered me. He was supportive on the surface, but underneath I felt that he was jealous and was waiting for the day that the nursing stopped. He sometimes threw up these psychoanalytic child development theories at me, all how she needs to separate and is nursing preventing that and blahblah.

    I found it pretty upsetting honestly. Then we had a good long chat about it and he shifted his perspective. Which was lovely. And which really highlighted for me how impacted I was by his position. Which is not that cool, I wish I'd been able to brush it off more as his own issues. Coz really, my child and my nursing relationship is nobody's business but our own.
    LondonMoms has really gone downhill, ever since they started chit chatting in the home and garden forum. There is a place for chit chat, people!!!

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Thanks so much mamas! I just needed to hear I wasn't crazy, and that people DO still nurse their babes! lol!!!

    I had to work so hard to establish a nursing relationship with him, that I just don't see how I could give it up now, when in reality, it took almost three months to get everything figured out, and going smoothly. I mean, I didn't spend all this time and energry trying to get him to nurse, to just stop! I spent alot of hours, had a lot of tears and frustrations trying to help him figure out how to latch, then latch properly, and then nurse efficiantly!

    And in all honesty, it's free. Spending the $$$ on forumla right now, just doesn't make sense when $$ is already tight, and I am able to nurse DS!

    I have to say I'm pretty lucky though in that he will take a bottle, (only the playtex drop in ones those! lol) And has no problem switching back and forth. Because sometimes I DO just need a break, so I let DH feed him.

    I think his mom just wants to always feed him herself, and stuff ykwim? It seems when we visit, the only time I get to see DS is if he's hungry! And i think she's upset because when he was first born, we did have to give him bottles because he couldn't latch. But, he latches now, and he nurses darn good now, so why would I give him a bottle when I don't have to? He doesn't even really like formula! He makes faces, and doesn't take even drink alot of when given a bottle! ( I HATE PUMPING! lol)



    But, again, thank you mamas! I'm glad to know I am not the only one who has faced this challenge!


    Leigh

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