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  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Default Whats the difference between to "tell" and to "teach"

    We are eventually getting our house more 'up to date' and organized now that our kids are older, in the past when they were MUCH younger I could never figure out how to keep things 'nice' or 'clean'. I've had people say you just need to either:
    1) tell your kids not to ....
    OR
    2) you need to teach your kids not to...

    ok so what is the difference
    is telling them meaning "G please don't leave your clothes on the floor:
    where as teaching them is "G this is how we put our clothes in the hamper"

    or is there more to this... when your dealing with special needs kids, that instruction lasted O about 10 seconds in his brain. So for the next 1,000,000 times i say it it does nothing.
    ykwim. we seem to keep repeating the same thing over and over again but it never seems to register. and they say model what you want your kids to learn well ok i need to be paid alot more cause this modelling biz im in sucks.
    at what point does it STICK!? i don't know maybe I 'told' wrong or 'taught wrong' please feel free to comment, critque, criticize or whatever.
    **the earlier model comment reminded me of the day we went to XCargo and I was sitting waiting for the guys to finish trying on their new helmets on their display patio set. minding my own business relaxing, this guy comes in walks by me stops and adjusts his shoes.... well at the same time i moved my fit.... LOL. he nearly shit himself... he thought I was a mannequin. i almost peed myself laughing.** had to share.

  2. #2
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    It Sounds like you are on he right track Mrs Sunshine. Telling is just saying something but teaching is to show them and give them the tools they need to be successful.

    Maybe a picture checklist of things to do might help (and then additional pictures like a pic of clothes in the hamper ON the hamper). Just an idea.

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User Hep Alien's Avatar
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    to me the difference is the tone in which it is said.

    Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?
    –Frieda Kahlo (1907-1954)

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User bacon's Avatar
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    Here is how I see it...

    Telling somebody something is an order of sorts. They will do it if it is their best interest to keep you(the teller) happy. If they don't care about your happiness, then it will not sink in.

    Teaching somebody to do something also requires the how to do it. It may also include the why they have to do it on top of the how. You know the repercussions if they do not do it, why that request is in place, who it will make happy once complete - perhaps you, perhaps them, perhaps friends. They get the big load of information as opposed to the implied one.


    ... then again, some messages may not be able to stick in some heads if they don't accept what you are saying as important to them. That's the time that it takes much more energy to get things across.

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    wow Bacon. that was impressive. Ill have to write that down so I really work on it. it just seems that the 'rewards' are not as i guess important to them as they are to me. i ll try anyway.

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User bacon's Avatar
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    Perhaps the rewards aren't all known by everybody.

    I'm super lucky with my own kids as they are always wanting to please me, so tend to listen. Then again, when they were really young, I tricked them into adopting my believe system... so it doesn't take that much energy to influence their behavior.

    Sometimes you get lucky and don't even have to ask/tell. They will perform on their own for their own reasons, which may match yours.



    As for other folk... you may have to find out what motivates them and play to it... not everyone learns/listens the same way. I find that some people are motivated by things that offend me. So some adaptability is required.


    I don't know where I was going with this... but I tried to get somewhere. Text based communication frustrates me... as I like to talk for hours about just this subject... I can't type as fast as I think. :/

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