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  1. #16
    Expert Forum User foximamma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stepher View Post
    How long has your SD been with you every weekend? How did you come to that agreement?
    That arrangement had been agreed upon since they broke up when she was 10 months old. It was just a mutual agreement - she gets to live all week with her Mom, so it's only fair that she spends 2 days a week with Dad. DH made a big sacrafice not fighting to have her during the week -
    Although DH and his ex have their share of disagreements - the shared role of parenting, and the importance of both parents hasn't been one luckily.

    Now that she's older and wanting to spend more time with her friends, we're more flexible, allowing her to stay at her mom's if there is a special event or something (her school dances, girlguide events etc)



  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom2markus View Post
    I guess I would fit in here since SO had a 7 year old daughter. Im not sure I will have much to say though...We are in a very awkward undesirable situation with her.

    Sadly this seems to be the case so often.
    ...and in that moment I swear we were infinite.

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by foximamma View Post
    That arrangement had been agreed upon since they broke up when she was 10 months old. It was just a mutual agreement - she gets to live all week with her Mom, so it's only fair that she spends 2 days a week with Dad. DH made a big sacrafice not fighting to have her during the week -
    Although DH and his ex have their share of disagreements - the shared role of parenting, and the importance of both parents hasn't been one luckily.

    Now that she's older and wanting to spend more time with her friends, we're more flexible, allowing her to stay at her mom's if there is a special event or something (her school dances, girlguide events etc)
    Thats awesome. she gets to live all week with her Mom, so it's only fair that she spends 2 days a week with Dad
    This is how we feel but sadly arn't in agreement. Its hard coming to an agreement that works for the kids AND the parents.
    ...and in that moment I swear we were infinite.

  4. #19
    Expert Forum User foximamma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stepher View Post
    Thats awesome. she gets to live all week with her Mom, so it's only fair that she spends 2 days a week with Dad
    This is how we feel but sadly arn't in agreement. Its hard coming to an agreement that works for the kids AND the parents.
    My heart goes out to people who have to FIGHT that hard for THEIR OWN children

    Like I said, as much as DH and the ex haven't gotten along, I'm thankful she at least has enough common sense to see how important his daughter is to him. She moved away from London when SD was little and for over a year, DH would BIKE 26 KM EACH WAY just to see her.



  5. #20
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    We are another Brady Bunch here. We have 7 children between the 2 of us. We have had sole custody of my 3 step children for 3 years. Sadly they have not seen there mother in 2 years and have no heard from her in almost a year. She decided to move out west with her boyfriend and start a new life and family there. The kids were young when we blended our families and just see us as one big family. My dss1 is 9, dss2 8 and dsd 6. My children are ds8, dd5, dd3 and togother we have our 2 year old son.

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by foximamma View Post
    My heart goes out to people who have to FIGHT that hard for THEIR OWN children
    Forsure.

    Quote Originally Posted by foximamma View Post

    Like I said, as much as DH and the ex haven't gotten along, I'm thankful she at least has enough common sense to see how important his daughter is to him. She moved away from London when SD was little and for over a year, DH would BIKE 26 KM EACH WAY just to see her.
    Wow thats so awesome.
    SO has had his fair share of asshat moments but being a father is the one thing I would never question how much it means to him or how good he is. I would never wanna take that away from my children.

    I do sympathis with both sides of the argument bc no one wants to have the child miss their family stuff, their one on one time etc.
    ...and in that moment I swear we were infinite.

  7. #22
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    We see SO's daughter for an hour on saturdays. and rules of the mother are she is not to see Markus, or Nolan, the time is just for her and her dad, not anyone else.

  8. #23
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    I have a DSS who just turned 5, we have him every other weekend, but wish we could spend more time with him.




  9. #24
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    I have a SS, he is 10. We only get to see him about 2x a year and every other Christmas. His mom packed up and moved to Quebec when SS was 2. My heart breaks for DH. DH has family in Quebec, so we usually make the rounds every year. Its almost an 8 hour drive for us one way. SS's mom will not let him take the train or plane and she rarely offers to meet us 1/2 way. DH has done many 15+ hr drives in one day just to have 1 week with SS.

    SS is coming to stay with us for 4 weeks! (he arrives on Thursday) Since I'm on Mat leave, we wanted to take advantage of it. I was hoping for warmth and sun so we could go swimming outdoors everyday, but looks like we will have to find some indoor activities.

    We had very few rules with SS, but things are going to be a bit different now that DD is here... I am going to make an award chart for him..hoping that the chores we assign him get completed without hassle! (and help me out during the day when DH is working!!)

    If anyone has any suggestions for indoor activities for a 10 yr old boy..please let me know!

  10. #25
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    Well I have 4 kids, dsd who is 14, ds who is 4, dd who is 2 and dd who is two months.

    DH and I have been together since dsd was 4 months old and dh fought to get more access to her but the first two years no overnights then she started staying over every sat. night then every other weekend, then there was about a 4 year period where she didn't stay over at all, said she was too scared and to this date we have no idea what caused it. She actually slept over for the first time in close to two years the night before we went up north.

    She's a teenager now so she has quite a social life and sees a lot of dh's cousin (more like his sister). I'm glad we had the trip north, feels like we may have reconnected in a different way. When she was young I had no interest in having kids. Loved her to death but tried to make sure she was spending time with her Daddy since she tended to gravitate towards me because she was used to women since she lived with her Mom. We haven't had the closest relationship with issues with her mom and such, but things are good now and I realize I need to be the one to call her and get her over. I wouldn't say we have a mother daughter relationship since I avoided that when she was growing up. We had problems with her Mom and I didn't want to make them worse, but I love her dearly and we seem to be building a new relationship, not really “friends“, but not quite mom/daughter either. Kind of excited to see where it goes.
    Mommy to three adorable kids!

  11. #26
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    Well i have three step dtr's and one son of my own.
    One is 18 and expecting in Dec and their is a set of twins who are 16 and at that horrible teenage years.
    We seen the 18 yr old a bit more than the twins. they use to come over every other weekend till they were oh 12 or 13 yrs old. DH has had a hard time trying to deal with the EX wife hasnt been an easy road. But we just do what we can. Took a long time to realize that.
    the one i feel bad for is my son he is only 2 yrs old and when they come over the first day hes not to sure about them. then second day he is like best friends with them, then they have to go home. So hard to explain to him why they have to go home. One of them he hasnt seen in 3 mths so i am sure he will play strange with her.
    how do you explain why they have to go home to a 2 yr old. my son ends up looking in their room for oh a week and yelling their name hoping he will be able to find them

  12. #27
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    I have 2 DSS. They are almost 5 and almost 10. We have been together since she was pregnant with the youngest.

    Our really messed up court agreement has the oldest with us full time and the youngest with her full time. They are apart on a school day (2 seperate cities). They are together every weekend, school break, and all summer. They are here one weekend, there the other.

  13. #28
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    I have two kids DSS is 11 and DS is 7. My Dh and I have had sole custody of dss since he was around 2. I love it I always wanted two kids I just got one ready made!!
    I won't yet get into bio mom. It's really a made for tv movie!
    Mary
    Enjoy everyday - they go by way too fast!

  14. #29
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    I feel so badly for people fightning to see their children....we are lucky & we see SS from Sunday to Sunday...a week on & then a week off. It works great for us...but we also get along well with his mom (it hasn't always been this easy & sometimes it takes a lot of work)) but we are lucky.

  15. #30
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    I have 3.5 month old DD and 13 and 11 year old SS's.

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