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  1. #1
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    Unhappy feeling confused...

    Dec 14, 2004 I lost a little angel baby, at 13 weeks pregnant. I mourned for a full year, and still cry over the baby I would have had. Tomorrow, which happens to be my great grandma's 88th birthday, is also the my baby's due date. (s)he would have been 4. I don't see my great grandma, due to circumstances beyond my control, so I don't have to put up a front for her benefit. I want to celebrate, not only Fathers day, but my grandma's birthday, but I can't shake the feeling of emptyness I have. I have 3 beautiful living children, who I'm VERY thankful for, but I would love to have 4 beautiful living children. How do I celebrate... and mourn at the same time?


    Mommy to 3 boys
    Ryan Riley- July 26, 2006
    Braxton Ryder- Oct 22, 2007
    Kaden River- May 11, 2009
    And
    Aaliyah Kathleen July 15, 2010.

  2. #2
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    McMommaBear's Avatar
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    Do you have a garden?? Have you tried making a stone rememberance. so that when you have days like these you can go out there and let it all out?

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Quote Originally Posted by McMommaBearof2 View Post
    Do you have a garden?? Have you tried making a stone rememberance. so that when you have days like these you can go out there and let it all out?
    oh that is a great idea! or you could plant like a tree or a rose brush or something like that!

    I'm truly sorry four your loss!
    Tiffany
    Mom to Ben, Jonathan and Zachary


  4. #4
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    I'm sorry for your loss. One thing I found that helped me was having things around 'for' the babies (we've lost 3). They are all named (see siggy), I have a charm on my necklace for DH, DS and each of the babies we lost, and will have one for this baby. I have a christmas tree decoration for each that are kept in a china cabinet when it isn't christmas. Hope you can find something that works for you.
    Mommy to DS Jan '06, DD July '09, DS Feb '11, DD Dec '12
    Wife to my wonderful DH of 8 years
    http://handsbetterfull.blogspot.com/

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User le cupcake's Avatar
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    I have a little pin that I keep in my purse. Sorry for your loss.
    mama to 3



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    I like the ideas that you've shared about remembering our little ones that are not with us. I always wondered what others did.

    I have a tattoo. I have had five losses and two children. Five years, almost to the day of Daegan's birth (my last pregnancy) I got a custom piece done on my lower abdomen, right ontop of where all my babies once where. A very spiritual friend helped me to design it then the tattoo artist and I tweaked it to perfection. It is a lotus flower (symbolizes female fertility) five petals long (# of losses) with two free petals, one off to each side (my two living children). The back ground is a smoke/foggy effect (one's future is not clear) with spirals super-imposed (one's future path is not straight ahead.. it takes turns/detours on your way to betterness). The entire piece is very subtle, shaded with black with the exception of the two break-away petals symbolizing my living children. One is highlighted with emerald green (Taylor's birthstone) and the other is highlighted with amethist (Daegan's birthstone).

    I absolutely love it as do my kids. I got it 2.5yrs ago and Daegan will still sometimes ask to see it and he points out his petal and Taylor's petal.
    Last edited by Tanya-Mae; 06-22-2009 at 12:43 AM. Reason: stupid typing mistakes.. I can spell, really I can.

  7. #7
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    I'm so sorry for your loss, some of the ladies ideas are beautiful and I hope they can help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tanya-Mae View Post
    I like the ideas that you've shared about remembering our little ones that are not with us. I always wondered what others did.

    I have a tattoo. I have had five losses and two children. Five years, almost to the day of Daegan's birth (my last pregnancy) I got a custom piece done on my lower abdomen, right ontop of where all my babies once where. A very spiritual friend helped me to design it then the tattoo artist and I tweaked it to perfection. It is a lotus flower (symbolizes female fertility) five petals long (# of losses) with two free petals, one off to each side (my two living children). The back ground is a smoke/foggy effect (one's future is not clear) with spirals super-imposed (one's future path is not straight ahead.. it takes turns/detours on your way to betterness). The entire piece is very subtle, shaded with black with the exception of the two break-away petals symbolizing my living children. One is highlighted with emerald green (Taylor's birthstone) and the other is highlighted with amethist (Daegan's birthstone).

    I absolutely love it as do my kids. I got it 2.5yrs ago and Daegan will still sometimes ask to see it and he points out his petal and Taylor's petal.
    That sounds beautiful.
    Mommy to three adorable kids!

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    Thanks!!!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tanya-Mae View Post
    I like the ideas that you've shared about remembering our little ones that are not with us. I always wondered what others did.

    I have a tattoo. I have had five losses and two children. Five years, almost to the day of Daegan's birth (my last pregnancy) I got a custom piece done on my lower abdomen, right ontop of where all my babies once where. A very spiritual friend helped me to design it then the tattoo artist and I tweaked it to perfection. It is a lotus flower (symbolizes female fertility) five petals long (# of losses) with two free petals, one off to each side (my two living children). The back ground is a smoke/foggy effect (one's future is not clear) with spirals super-imposed (one's future path is not straight ahead.. it takes turns/detours on your way to betterness). The entire piece is very subtle, shaded with black with the exception of the two break-away petals symbolizing my living children. One is highlighted with emerald green (Taylor's birthstone) and the other is highlighted with amethist (Daegan's birthstone).

    I absolutely love it as do my kids. I got it 2.5yrs ago and Daegan will still sometimes ask to see it and he points out his petal and Taylor's petal.

    Wow...that sounds really beautiful! So sorry for your losses though


    I've had one miscarriage....it was twins and I lost them at 12 weeks. I sometimes wonder what things would have looked like around here with 2 running around; they would be almost 1. But then I have DD now (4 months) and can't imagine her not being here

    I seem to have my own way of thinking of it and it might be strange...but somehow I felt that the 'souls' of those 2 babies were not lost....it was just the little bodies growing inside me that weren't right. And maybe those souls went somewhere else...y'know? I know it probably doesn't make any sense, lol. I tend to lean on spirituality to make sense of things sometimes.

    I have 2 little angel pins that are usually in my purse, or sometimes on my dresser. I just needed something to symbolize them.

    I hope you find something that helps you.....I'm so sorry for your loss.
    "My mind is going a mile an hour."

  10. #10
    Expert Forum User Hame's Avatar
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    I miscarried at 8 weeks my first pregnancy, that baby would be two now. I was due March 20 2007. DH found a memorial at a Cemetary in London for miscarriages and still births that I visted when I was pregnant with R, and almost due.
    Wiht A I have been told that there was a possiblity he could of been a twin, but the other “sac“ never got a heart beat. (That could of explained the bleeding I had). I mourned that one as well. I have two beautiful boys, and I love them so much.
    I am going to plant a tree when I get my house eventually and explain to my boys about the brother or sister's they never knew.


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