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  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Default Need to start a support group!

    Seriously, my head is pounding and I feel like a crappy mom. My 4 year old ds is driving me nuts. Sometimes he is the sweetest little guy, helping with the baby, hugging his sister, other times he makes Damien look nice. No big tantrums or anything, just constantly NOT LISTENING. I'm so tired of repeating myself and sometimes I can't follow through on time outs or taking stuff away right away because I'm busy with the baby. Then there is the 2 year old, she completely ignores me half the time and I feel like the only way either listens to me is if I threaten time out or taking things away or going to their rooms.

    Now the baby is hitting a stage where if she's not being fed, held or sleeping she crys and that just adds a whole nother layer of headache. Of course my Mom says she doesn't always have to be picked up, but really you'd let a newborn just cry? Sometimes I have to because I'm stuck doing other things, but I hate to hear her cry, it makes me upset and anxious.

    I would love some time out on my own, but dh will just ignore her if she cries and he can't get her to stop within 10 min and I can't stand the thought that she might be crying and no one is helping her (don't get me wrong sometimes she gets stuck crying for 5-7 min since I'm doing something else).

    Sorry, just needed to vent, hoping it will make my head feel better.

    I need to play with the kids more, but not sure what to do, though I did get a whole bunch of craft stuff today so there is something for them to do and if its nice out we can hang out in the backyard (had errands today).

    I just needed to type it out. DH is very sympathetic to getting frustrated with them all, but doesn't get the horrible guilty feelings at all.
    Mommy to three adorable kids!

  2. #2
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    is the support group for mothers at their witts end with their 4 year olds? cuz i would sooo join.

    Hang in there! *hugs* it'll get better with the baby.
    jennifer mommy to 4 amazing kids!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivveyy View Post
    is the support group for mothers at their witts end with their 4 year olds? cuz i would sooo join.

    Hang in there! *hugs* it'll get better with the baby.
    i know a great support group for that!! it's called the bad mother factory!! i'm the head tit!! welcome to the club

    now, all you need to do to secure membership is burst into tears while they are all crying at once, (within earshot of a judgemental neighbour is always fun) and look to the sky asking “why did i do this to myself?!?!“ then it's official. you are one of us. AND it's a lifetime membership, welcome!

    but seriously, i'm sorry to hear it's so hard right now. when they don't listen it's enough to make you crazy i used to feel so guilty when i felt overwhelmed. they're older now, and it is easier for sure.
    it DOES get better, the trick is keeping sane while you put in the time. *hugs* you are SO normal!!
    ~"Just because I have strong opinions, does not mean I judge. Do not mistake passion for judgment. For you might find you are the one doing the judging". ~ Unknown

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    oh aidensmom, you are NOT alone....i so understand what you're feeling and i have turned into an evil mommy from hell lately. and i don't even have a 2 year old in the mix!! i have a 4 yr old and baby. i can only imagine how overwhelmed you are with 3 right now.


    my 4 year old will not listen. he also will not stop talking. it exhausts me. the more he acts up, the more time i have to take settling the baby, which means even less attention on him, therefore more acting up. vicious cycle!

    if your baby is like mine, i did find that the fussiness started to taper off noticeably after about 6 or 7 weeks.

    i feel the same way about leaving to go out by myself on my own. even though i spend my days with 2 kids on my own, for some reason i'm having a hard time trusting dh on his own...not that he'd neglect or anything. i guess i'm being a control freak...lol. i definitely wasnt' comfortable leaving baby when she was your DD's age.

    i bought craft stuff too and i found it worked really well with DS...i could still be holding DD and interact with him verbally while doing the craft...sort of helping him along. i also bought activity books...the Pre-K ones where they do mazes and matching things...he loves doing those.

    LOTS of tv and movies on at our house the past few months......*sigh* i'm just doing what i have to do to survive...lol

    lots of mid afternoon drives too......baby will sleep and DS will often doze off and then i get myself a coffee, put in a good CD and drive wherever i can for an hour or so.

    this is my long-winded way of saying i need to join the support group too
    "My mind is going a mile an hour."

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    Quote Originally Posted by hinagal View Post
    i know a great support group for that!! it's called the bad mother factory!! i'm the head tit!! welcome to the club

    now, all you need to do to secure membership is burst into tears while they are all crying at once, (within earshot of a judgemental neighbour is always fun) and look to the sky asking “why did i do this to myself?!?!“ then it's official. you are one of us. AND it's a lifetime membership, welcome!

    LOL>....oh, i needed that laugh. today has been HORRIBLE. and for the first time in a while, DS caught me crying , which i hate.

    aidensmom....i should have mentioned....my DD is 4 months old now and i can honestly say things are getting better. we often get out in the afternoons and things are getting more manageable. for the longest time i just gave up trying to go anywhere because it never failed that when i finally got my s**t together at 4pm and it looked like we were finally going to get out for awhile, there was always an incident involving poop, puke, or unconsolable crying (not me).

    i've looked up playgroups and oeyc programs and stuff.....but couldn't comprehend how all these other moms were making it out of the house by 10am??!!! mornings are out of the question! lol
    "My mind is going a mile an hour."

  6. #6
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    So glad I'm not alone and hinagal I've so far managed not to burst into tears, that'll be next. I have however nearly mashed my computer mouse when everyone was crying/screaming and I'm trying to download pictures and the program freezes and well, I managed not to break it.

    I did get out today for about 20 min to go to the Dollar Store, never been so happy to go to a dollar store before! Wanted to go to M&M but was afraid the baby might wake up before I got home.

    I'm just realizing that my one window on the first floor is open so I'm sure my snoopy neighbour has heard the chaos!

    Indigo I soooo know the pain of a ds who will not stop talking!! The car is the worse for us unfortunately, the baby is usually ok but the other two don't sleep unless its a long drive and ds just natters on. I've seriously asked to please give mommy 5 minutes of quiet time!

    I put 2 year old dd in her room most afternoons for quiet time, she almost never sleeps and has lately taken to trashing her room (child lock on the door) but its Mommy's quiet time!

    Oh and Ivveyy this is a support group for moms of 4 year olds, 2 year olds, babies, teens, whoever needs it!! I swear when they talk about the terrible two's its just so you are somwhat prepared for the 3s and the 4s!!
    Last edited by aidensmom; 06-15-2009 at 06:14 PM.
    Mommy to three adorable kids!

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    I so get what your saying. 4 year olds are why mothers lock themselves in the bathroom with ice cream...not that I have ever done that.

    You are certainly not alone.
    Cole is 8 years old! January, 2005
    Nate is 5 years old! January, 2008
    Judah is 2 years old! October, 2010
    Avery Grace born & passed Feb 4, 2007.

    "Why did I not know that birth is the pinnacle where women discover the courage to become mothers?"
    Anita Diamant (The Red Tent)

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    I HAVE BEEN THERE (and yes, with the neighbour hearing EVERYTHING - I was sooooo embarrassed!)!!!!!!!!!!!! You are definitely not alone. When I was off on mat leave with ds and dd was 3 and 4 I went to Childreach a lot. You don't have to worry about keeping them entertained, it's just drop-in pretty much so it's okay whenever you show up, and you don't have to clean up a mess at your house after! Staying home was the worst for me, I found that we were all on better behaviour if we were out in public!

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    I am right there with you, except I only have a 4 year old and baby!

    Can you send them to daycare at all?

    My sanity is that Carter goes to daycare 3 days a week, from 9 - 1.


    "The secret to having it all... Is knowing you already do."

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    they are in bed now, baby is nursing and ds just sang me his love, how much he loves me and daddy and k and baby and he knows how much we help him, melt!
    Mommy to three adorable kids!

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    Senior Member Willow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aidensmom View Post
    they are in bed now, baby is nursing and ds just sang me his love, how much he loves me and daddy and k and baby and he knows how much we help him, melt!
    Isn't it funny how they always manage to redeem themselves right before we go totally over the edge? Glad he's being charming for you now.
    Willow
    Mama of David (6) and Mary (2)

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carters'Mom View Post
    I am right there with you, except I only have a 4 year old and baby!

    Can you send them to daycare at all?

    My sanity is that Carter goes to daycare 3 days a week, from 9 - 1.
    oh good, now i don't feel so guilty for keeping dd1 in daycare while i had dd2.
    Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

    ~ Breastfed for 7 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ~

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    LOL, tooo sweet. see, the adage is true, children are a blessing. try repeating that to yourself in a maniacal way when they are trying your nerves ... *evil chuckle* children are a blessing children are a blessing children are a blessing children are ablessing ...
    you know, i sometimes found that bursting into tears actually helped the situation. the kids would even pet me sometimes, it's sad but true. it released all that pent up tension in me and made them realize i needed their love too. don't knock yourself if you have a cry once in a while. 3 little ones can be quite a strain!
    remember, it's the willow that bends that survives the storm, it's the oak that stands too firmly that may crack!
    ~"Just because I have strong opinions, does not mean I judge. Do not mistake passion for judgment. For you might find you are the one doing the judging". ~ Unknown

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    Quote Originally Posted by hinagal View Post
    i know a great support group for that!! it's called the bad mother factory!! i'm the head tit!! welcome to the club

    now, all you need to do to secure membership is burst into tears while they are all crying at once, (within earshot of a judgemental neighbour is always fun) and look to the sky asking “why did i do this to myself?!?!“ then it's official. you are one of us. AND it's a lifetime membership, welcome!

    but seriously, i'm sorry to hear it's so hard right now. when they don't listen it's enough to make you crazy i used to feel so guilty when i felt overwhelmed. they're older now, and it is easier for sure.
    it DOES get better, the trick is keeping sane while you put in the time. *hugs* you are SO normal!!
    I will join this club! (*raises hand*)

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    So glad to hear we're not the only ones going through those issues! DD is almost 4 and pretty much never listens...and never stops talking either. I think it would be a huge group. LOL

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