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  1. #1
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    Default Twins born at 25 weeks Updated with Blog info (1st post )

    My brother and his wife had their twin boys earl this morning at only 25 weeks .... What should we expect, what should I say/do to make this easier for them. I really want to help as much as I can but I don't want to be a nuscence(sp) to them either. They/we are obviously worried.
    Jackson and Conner weigh 2 lbs 1 oz and 1 lb 14 oz.

    any prayers you may have would be appreciated ... TIA

    I followed Xander'sMommy advice and started a blog . I am so new to theis blogger think I hope I did it right ... Thanks again for the support and feel free to check out the blog... Thanks again .
    http://www.thebaxterboys.blogspot.com/

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    I hope they do ok. Please keep us posted.

    As far as what you can do, if they are in the city, maybe you can bring them supper/lunch at the hospital, or stay with the babies while they get some sleep.
    Barbi, mommy to
    Jack and Seth

  3. #3
    Xander'sMommy
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    I also had a 25 week baby, in 2006, 1 lb 9 oz.

    Things I appreciated:

    People who:

    - made individual frozen meals for us in microwave containers
    - cut my grass
    - gift certificates for Tim Hortons and subway and gas! (we LOVED those)
    - my friend who kept a blog (www.blogger.com) on the baby's progress to cut down on phone calls
    - offered to do my laundry and walk my dog

    - if you would like to know what to expect, please check out our blog at www.babyshabooblah.blogspot.com

    I keep it and still do some posts (just for fun!) but you might want to start at the beginning (June 2006). Our friend/sister explains everything in ENGLISH instead of medical words, so it is easy to follow along!

    If you need any support/advice, please feel free to PM me or to give my info to the new parents. We have been there and sometimes it helps to have someone who ridden the rollercoaster!

    Also, feel free to check out the NICU forum on the London Moms. Many Moms there for support too!

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Those are some excellent ideas, Xander's mommy.

    I would also suggest offering to do any household chores that need to be done. Clean a bathroom, do a quick vacuum, etc. Then whenever they do get a chance to go home, there's nothing there for them to do except rest.

    Maybe there are errands that need to be done too? Dropping off things, etc.


    My prayers to your little nephews!
    The poster formerly known as Geomamma

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    Staying with the babies sounds like a wonderful idea. I've heard it's very common among parents of babies in the NICU to feel guilt for not being there with their child(ren) all the time. If you can be with their babies for some time, it'll will probably help put them a little bit at ease, and also, touching and holding of these wee babies will greatly increase their chances of survival and thriving.

    Hoping for the best for these two wee ones and their parents.
    Mama to two
    Etsy store: Merry Medley

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Tan- your family can expect an emotional rollercoaster ride.

    The things we felt most helpful when Nathan was in NICU was really love at a distance, esp. at first when all we wanted to do was sit and visit with our son, not have to put on a strong face for our family and friends. We also didn't really appreciate hearing " It could be worse" Sure, it could be worse.. but it could be BETTER too! IYKWIM?? Arrangements for childcare with our oldest, not having to call everyone and figure out what we were going to do with him because we were still in the hospital, and of course Daddy and Mommy wanted to spend time with him, and we did, but knowing he had a warm bed and warm meals while we were at the hospital were a great re assurance. Also, phone cards for LD phone calls to people that are obviously LD, because you have to either charge them directly to your home phone, or use your cell, or not make them.

    Prepare yourselves for the worst and pray for the best, the NICU journey is one that isn't easily isn't forgotten. my msn myspace tells our story so if you want to go ahead and read it and get an idea of what we went thru PM me and I will send you the link. Our LO wasn't early, and we had a fairly short stay in NICU, but it truly is a hard path to walk on.

    We will keep your nephews in our prayers!!

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    Wow Tan, your Brother, SIL and Nephews are in my prayers.

    The ladies have made some great suggestions. I think keeping the house tidy is a big thing.

    Maybe write down any information about the boys that they tell you incase they happen to forget. A blog is a cool idea and it doesn't cost anything.

    Purchase a parking pass for them or let another family member do it that wants to help.

    If I can help you with anything let me know.

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    Xander's mommy's ideas are great.

    Our twins were in NICU and Care by parent for a total of 3 weeks. I also agree that the absolute worst thing someone said to me was "it could be worse".

    NICU is an emotional rollercoaster because the fear of the unknown is hard to deal with and preemies are so unpredictable. It is two steps forward and two steps back most of the time. Everyday presented new challenges.

    Things I was grateful for:
    - I couldn't drive due to my c-section so rides were so valuable to me as we lived out of London
    -people offering to do specific things as I found it hard to ask for help
    - so instead of saying "is there anything I can do", they would say we will take the dog for a walk, we will bring you food, etc...
    - I found it hard to tell people that I didn't want them to visit the babies because it took time away for me and DH especially the few moments during the day that we got to hold them, it was so awkward to have someone come and just sit by the incubator and stare at them. This is how I felt but your SIL may want the company.
    -I was grateful to have a private room it was worth the extra money that we spent because I didn't have to room with a mother and her new baby while my babies were not with me

    Your SIL is lucky to have you and that you are taking the time to understand her situation.

    I read a few preemie websites, the following helped me to deal with the range of emotions that I was dealing with.

    http://www.prematurity.org/baby/roll...r-maroney.html

    I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    ETA: I think visiting the babies when the parents are not able to be there is a great idea. I put my parents and in-laws and family members on a list so they could visit while I wasn't there which is what I meant from my point above. As PP said it is hard to put on the 'strong face" and it also avoided awkward conversations or me or my DH standing in the hallway so visitors could see the babies as only two people are allowed in at the sametime.

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    "-I was grateful to have a private room it was worth the extra money that we spent because I didn't have to room with a mother and her new baby while my babies were not with me"

    ITA!!!! It was very hard sitting in a ward room listening to all these new proud parents with their newborns!!! I was so grateful when they finally had a private room open up for us!

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    Our twins spent 2 months in the NICU (born at 29 weeks, 2lbs 11oz and 2lbs 12 oz) and I totally agree with Xander's Mommy's suggestions. I was pumping every 3 hours and spending as much time as possible in the NICU so things that didn't HAVE to be done just got left. The things we appreciated the most were:
    - help with our dog
    - prepared meals that just needed to be microwaved,
    - rides to the hospital because we only have one car and my DH was still going to work during the day.
    - our stay was in the winter but cutting the grass would be a HUGE help this time of year
    - gift certificates for Tim Hortons are also a great idea, we also had a lot of meals at Wendy's as it's the closest fast food place to St Joes

    I also didn't appreciate too many visitors, between pumping the emotional roller-coaster (daily crying) I really wasn't in the mood to deal with people but it depends on the person, others may need more outside support. It was also hard to have people into the NICU to see them, it did seem like they were taking away our time to be with the babies and I was really nervous about people touching them early on. We limited visits to weekends only.

    There isn't too much to say really, just let them know you are thinking about them and hoping and praying that everything will turn out great.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  11. #11
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    Just a thought on another thing...

    She made need help calling EI to straighten out her mat leave situation. You might be able to help with that from home because the wait on the phone can be long, long, long and she might just want time with the twins.

    They have a special provision (although you sometimes get someone who doesn't know on the phone...so be persistant) for preemies and the mom will get extended benefits and leave time.

    I know the last thing on their mind will be money right now...but sooner or later, they will need it to get through their time in the hospital.

    Also, I don't know but if they are from out of town, but if they are, they can stay at the LOVELY Ronald McDonald house for $10.00/night.

    Anyhow...any questions, just PM me!

  12. #12
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    Sounds like you got some great suggestions. I'll say a prayer for the boys and mommy and daddy too!
    Your life is a result of the choices you make, if you don't like your life it's time to start making better choices.

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    I am sorry to hear what your family is going through and it isn't going to be easy. Listen and watch. Mom might say it is ok to stay or do this or that, but is she just saying it cause it is what she thinks you want to hear? I agree with the other posts 100% they are good ideas for sure. If you want information of medical stuff, PM me and let me know. What this is for or that is for or what a certain term means.

    The most important at this point and it is proven is the breast milk. Those babies will do better, even if she didn't want to do it. The body works in wonderful ways, and makes milk that is perfect for the little one no matter what month they deliver.


    I certainly don't want to take over, but from the mom's who have experienced it, could you PM with good things and bad things from the health care side. I am an RN and starting on 3 and want to be the best I can be, so suggestions would be great.

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    Your nephews and family will be in my thoughts.

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    Thanks for all the great ideas, I did not go up today but instead told my Brother that i can't wait to meet my new nephews. I would just hang back and be there for whatever they need.. Well much to my amazement they endded up having about 20 people go up today and the only ones to see the boys was my SIL's parents . ( I am the only family to my bother London since both of our parents passed away in 1999) . At first I was kinda feeling like maybe I should have gone but my Bro thanked me tonight for thinking of them and not bombarding them with a visit when really all they wanted to do ws rest and visit the babies as much as possible. Even people from SIL work showed up

    I talked to my bother and offered to do a blog and he seemed to really like that idea to help cut down on the number of phone calls he has to make. And the bonus to that is that I will get to know how the boys are because I am doing the blog. great idea Xanders Mom.


    I have a ton of questons for all the moms who have gone through this I just need a couple days to gather them...I am sure I will have a whole slew of them after I visit tomorrow . I can't wait to meet them and I am glad my Brother sent me a couple of pics so I can be prepared ...

    The current good news is that Jackson 2lbs 1 oz is off the ventilator and breathing on his own... I am not exactly sure how great that is but it sounds great to me

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