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  1. #1
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    Default Shared custody issue

    Ok s ome and ex have had shared custody for the last 8 years or so. We do not get along at all but oh well. He recently moved out of his mom's house and apparently got a farm somewhere. Now DD goes there every other week.I just asked him for the adress and he refuses to give it to me saying she's fine, there's no need to worry about her safety and that me wanting his adress seems fishy..So IO still have no adress, my dd is there now and i'm getting very frustrated with the whole situation
    Is he allowed to not give me his adress?

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    I cannot imagine that he is allowed to not give you his address. Weird!! You can get free info at the Family Law Info Centre at the courthouse. They are open 9-3? approximately. You go and wait and talk to a lawyer. Watch out for Grant Raynor tho, I would avoid him. The rest IMO are great.
    LondonMoms has really gone downhill, ever since they started chit chatting in the home and garden forum. There is a place for chit chat, people!!!

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    no, you have the right to know where your child is...I would be telling him to give you the freaking address or she doens't go there

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    yes you have the right to know the address.

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    I went through the exact same situation with child abusing sperm donor and sorry but legally unless your order states he has to he does not have to give his address at all or even a number at that. IMO it sucks and is seriously wrong as many custodial parents get hit with moving clauses but nothing on the other parent.

    suggesting that she withhold access over it can get her in more trouble than its worth as the courts do tend to pity the non custodial parents more often these days

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    wow I didn't know that...I am very sorry, I guess I would just assume you had the right to know where your child is

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    Quote Originally Posted by sittingpretty View Post
    I went through the exact same situation with child abusing sperm donor and sorry but legally unless your order states he has to he does not have to give his address at all or even a number at that. IMO it sucks and is seriously wrong as many custodial parents get hit with moving clauses but nothing on the other parent.

    suggesting that she withhold access over it can get her in more trouble than its worth as the courts do tend to pity the non custodial parents more often these days
    Are you kidding me?! So I could move and not even tell him and it would be fine?
    Oh and we have no order so that's even worst I guess

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    If you have an order you need to look at it. I know with my BF order, we have to let her know of any address change, phone number change, etc, but if she moves or changes her phone number, she doens't technically have to give it to us. However, I think out of commom coutesy at the least he should be giving you his address. It really sucks when you guys don't get along though, makes everything more difficult, from my experience anyways.

    On a bit of my own rant and rave on my own, some people can be so unreasonable. We have to supply my BF's ex with his income tax and notice of assessment by May 15 each year, which whatever its all fine except we can only give her the income tax part, as the government hasn't mailed out his notice of assessment yet, and yet this is unacceptable to her...what the heck...like we control when the government sends out notices of assessments, we filed on March 10 when we had everything in so its not like we were late filing it....anyways sorry a little off topic but anyways, is your DD old enough that she could remember his address?

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    Quote Originally Posted by mhuigenbos View Post
    wow I didn't know that...I am very sorry, I guess I would just assume you had the right to know where your child is
    nope and even when I brought the issue up in court the judge made it clear the only reason ex was forced to tell me his address was due to past behavior in keeping D safe and abusing her, the onus is on the custodial parent to prove that the address is needed for the protection of the child and unless the access parent has a padt history of placing the child in danger its hard to get

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrs_williams View Post
    Are you kidding me?! So I could move and not even tell him and it would be fine?
    Oh and we have no order so that's even worst I guess
    you need a court order outlining everything, you realize legally that with out that piece of paper you both have custody and he can refuse to return her and he will not be charged nor can the cops make him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sittingpretty View Post
    you need a court order outlining everything, you realize legally that with out that piece of paper you both have custody and he can refuse to return her and he will not be charged nor can the cops make him?

    yes I know..I just don't know if I have the strenght to endure a custody battle with this guy. It'll be long, full of lies and drama and expensive. I keep saying i'm going to do it and I never do..I need someone to give me a kick in the butt or something..I don't know where to start, what to do, what's needed, what can be brought up in court nothing..kwim?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetie_girl017 View Post
    I think out of commom coutesy at the least he should be giving you his address.

    That's the way I see it, like what's the big secret here you know? but with him not giving me his adress makes him feel big or something..
    some people shouldn't have kids...I'm so mad about all this..

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    Quote Originally Posted by sittingpretty View Post
    you need a court order outlining everything, you realize legally that with out that piece of paper you both have custody and he can refuse to return her and he will not be charged nor can the cops make him?

    yep this is so true, when my BF was separating from his ex, he let her half DSS for the afternoon (this was about two weeks after tehy seperated) and then she refused to give him back. And because there was no court order at this point, there was nothing he could do about it, and when the court finally happened she had DSS for 6 months and teh judge gave custody to her mainly based on that fact. He is still kicking himself for trying to be fair and letting her see DSS, cause if he didn't we would have custody of him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrs_williams View Post
    yes I know..I just don't know if I have the strenght to endure a custody battle with this guy. It'll be long, full of lies and drama and expensive. I keep saying i'm going to do it and I never do..I need someone to give me a kick in the butt or something..I don't know where to start, what to do, what's needed, what can be brought up in court nothing..kwim?
    Even if you are happy with the shared custody that you have worked out, it probably wouldn't costs so much, because then you're just getting everything in writing because he obviously is okay with shared custody and then you can get things such as notification of address of change put into the agreement and then you can sleep better at night, just a suggestion

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    yes I know..I just don't know if I have the strenght to endure a custody battle with this guy. It'll be long, full of lies and drama and expensive. I keep saying i'm going to do it and I never do..I need someone to give me a kick in the butt or something..I don't know where to start, what to do, what's needed, what can be brought up in court nothing..kwim?
    I understand the fears I went through 3 trials but it doesn't have to be long or hard if everybody is reasonable. Part of the issue with so many taking forever is the 2 parents absoluetly refusing to cooperate.

    You can file and do it on your own at the FLIC at the court house or use a lawyer and if you go in just asking to have what you already have set in stone so to speak it should be easy as judges like to keep the status quo.

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