Poll: Do you like the way your SO deals with discipling?

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  1. #1
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    Default Do you like the way your SO deals with discipling?

    Do you like the way your SO deals with discipling? What kinds of tactics does he use?

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Generally yes and when I don't it is because I am seeing my poor parenting habits in his actions I hate mirrors.

    He often talks to the girls about working on solutions and when they are angry and yelling at each other he will ask them how they are feeling. It usually gets them to think about their behaviour & other ways they can deal with the emotions they are having. Those are the good things.
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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! mamabear's Avatar
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    I think my DH is too strict. He thinks I'm too laissez-faire. LOL!

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    Sometimes my dh is a softy but he is also usually calmer in most situations than I am. He is not a yeller, he leaves that for me. Which I hate that I am like that. But generally I am happy with how he handles things. Mostly he takes away privilages but that seems to be the best thing that works here.
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    I find that my dh is quicker to get dd to a timeout than I am...he thinks i'm a softie for trying to take the time to explain things and find out why dd isn't listening or doing what we asked. otherwise he is pretty consistent in backing me up so we show a united front.
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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! eversoclever's Avatar
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    Dh has a lot of experience working with youth, so for the most part I'm lucky to parent alongside him. He's so used to action-consequence that sometimes I feel like he slips into group home worker mode too quickly. That's really my only criticism.

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    Ususally all the discipline is up to me and he adds his input, but I don't think he remembers being a kid, so he wants me to be a bit harsher than I am. My girls are older though, we will see when the baby gets to being a toddler, there will probably be a few disagreements.

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    for the most part he's pretty good but like doulamom said, I'm not crazy about mirrors. He tends to jump to quick sometimes and not know when something would best be ignored or when it is time to disapline.
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    For a really really long time I was mom and dad and I had to balance that. When they're dad decided to actually take an active parent roll, it was a shock to the both of us. He used to be very very strict and would be the first one to holler/scream and punish. It wasn't until I started doing the same thing and he started correcting me did he have his eureka moment. So now we're normally a pretty good team. We both have our moments and correct each other when one of us start reverting to old practices.

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    Well no SO here but I do really like the way M's dad deals with discipline. There are a few things I would do differently, but in some ways I also think he does better than me. (Uh in a lot of ways, but then I tell myself well he gets a lot more breaks! LOL!). Overall we have really similar styles and philosophies.
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    I find that DH tends to threaten a lot and not follow through, it seemed to start because he works whatever hours he is scheduled for so DD was in FT daycare within my hours even though he mostly worked afternoons so it was like when he was actually home with her he didn't want to have to discipline and was more into having fun, yk? Now DD only goes part time so he has to discipline more but still has a habit of threatening a lot and if he followed through more DD would likely listen better. It's quite an annoyance for me right now since we just had our second and DD is pushing even harder right now so we've talked about it and hopefully he's going to be more consistent now.
    Alicia
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    He is really good at disciplining SD. Not so much DS. He forgot the whining, emotional, temper tantrum stage. I think he's too short with him and could use more patience.

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    DH likes to defer to me...chicken!

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    We are pretty similar. It used to be lol he'd go overboard, and say something like "No tv for two days" well then it's kinda hard, when your other child is begging to watch Sesame Street -- what do I do ?banish the one kid from the room for an hour?! lol
    Or he'd take away his trainset -- and I pointed out dude, that's like cutting off his arm!
    So now it's a lot more logical -- like if he's smashing a truck into the walls and we say stop that, and he doesn't, he LOSES THAT TRUCK for a day. LOL Soon as dh and I agreed upon the cause/effect making sense, it was smooth sailing.

    We also are good at gently telling each other if the other one is being a bit overreactive. It happens. And it's good to be on the lookout for it.

    So basically yes I'm happy with how he does stuff. He's a bit more likely to give in to dd's cookie requests, or to let ds play Playstation the entire time I'm out at the store etc lol when normally I limit that stuff but, whatever. They're his kids too

  15. #15
    Senior Member just ducky's Avatar
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    DH discipline hahaha


    Shopping example:
    I remember leaving him in charge of 2 kids (this was about 11 yrs ago)while I went to a different section. I came back to find 2 kids up on the store display playing between the mannequins. I blasted all three of them!

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