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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Default Tired of Visitation

    Anyone tired of visitation?? My oldest son's biological father has supervised visitation, and it's once a week for a min. of two hours. If he shows up, he sits on the floor and doesn't do anything with him! I try to help them engage in play, conversation. . . anything.. but it doesn't work! He just isn't interested. The only reason he fought for visitation was because of his parents, and if he didn't, it would make him "look bad". I'm sick of having to spend those two hours a week to watch him sit like a bump on a log. I would love to go back to court to have his visitation revoked. There were several stipulations including the visits be at my moms house ( simply because at the time communication was nonexistant between us), and that he pick us up and drop us off. We don't ride with him, and when we didn't have our van we took the bus, simply because he's been convicted of drunk driving, has had numerous 12 hour suspensions, has a # of speeding tickets, and simply drives unsafely, and and tried to put my son and I in some old ratty pick up truck that if you breathed the wrong way would fall apart. Any suggestions?? At first we were going to use Merry Mount.. but he's not willing to pay for the service and its just not in our fiances to be able to pay for it either. I simply am sick of having to cut everything short to rush back for a visit that he will show up late to, and just sit and watch tv. Brithdays holidays etc etc, I've taken to simply telling him to buy a gift card because he doesn't know how to buy age appropriate items either! Clothes, toys or otherwise!!!! My son does NOT refer to him as dad, he just calls him by his name. He doesn't care if he is here or not, and most of the time would rather play with myself, my mom, or his uncle or my S/O.

    ARRRGGGHHH

    Leigh

  2. #2
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    oh man this sounds brutal - why does this man even bother?? have you given him an out kinda thing - like hey if you dont' really want to do this once a week, you can just call me when you ARE interested.....and we can work something out
    i swear my ex just does things because the court order says he has to but i wouldn't care if he dropped visitation - i know my ex spends wayyy more time with our son versus our girls - his girlfriend takes care of the girls
    anyway the other thing i would do is merrymount - its $20/exchange and you would split the cost unless you get a court order saying he has to pay for all of it - it is SO useful - they document everything there too like if he's late etc - and that stuff looks bad on him and you could get the order changed - right now its your word against his basically - but with merrymount its THEIR word - i love that about merrymount - how they document everything! my ex is a huge liar and so i'm grateful to have this resource to go thru for exchanging the kids

    good luck to you !!! i'd be frustrated too !

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    So glad to hear Im not the only one who's sick of it! lol. Its not just my word against his, the visits happen at my moms place. My mom, my brother, his friends, my S/O have all been a witness to this. We've tried all sorts of things to get them interacting with each other.. Going out in the back yard, with a soccer ball.. he flops on the ground! lol.. The guy just doesnt get it. He won't take an OUT because.. it will make HIM look bad..! *sigh* lol Maybe its time I tried again. I've offered him to leave and not come back, and he can take his CS with him. lol

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    OMG LEIGH!! LMAO!! I did the same thing - told my ex if he wanted to sign off on his parental rights he didnt' have to pay me anything (its ALL about money with my ex) - then he says ok so what do you mean, i told him again what i meant, he said oh ok so then can i still see the kids every other weekend??
    omfg

    freak


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    Quote Originally Posted by Leigh
    So glad to hear Im not the only one who's sick of it! lol. Its not just my word against his, the visits happen at my moms place. My mom, my brother, his friends, my S/O have all been a witness to this. We've tried all sorts of things to get them interacting with each other.. Going out in the back yard, with a soccer ball.. he flops on the ground! lol.. The guy just doesnt get it. He won't take an OUT because.. it will make HIM look bad..! *sigh* lol Maybe its time I tried again. I've offered him to leave and not come back, and he can take his CS with him. lol
    unforetly he is showing up which makes it hard. ending access is not as simple as people think trust me my ex THREW my dd on the ground and I am still trying to stop access this is a man who admits absuing her.

    A couple things in your post you need to be very careful of one is in supervsied access it should be no one but the supervsior,parent and child anything and the access parent can pull well "the interaction was bad due to x and x being present" they can say the prsent of other people makes him nervous or distracts the child etc also never ever offer ending cs as a way to stop access it will look extremely bad to you if he ever borugh that up in court.

    as for merrymount the work on a sliding scale and can let you off the hook for money and charge him only if he misses so many visits then they end its easier.

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