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Thread: Tantrums

  1. #1
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    Default Tantrums

    Help! My little guy is almost 23 months old and for the past 3-4 weeks he's been having temper tantrums. I feel like we've tried everything, ignoring it, talking quietly, yelling, naughty spot and so far nothing seems to work.

    Aiden stayed at his great aunts while I was in the hospital giving birth and he was perfect there for 4 nights. No tantrums, had a nap every day, ate his dinner. Now he hasn't had a nap yesterday or today. Didn't eat his dinner last night and just had a huge screaming fit because Mommy wouldn't pick him up. I've just brought home our new daugther and I know part of it is jealousy and I'm trying to think of things to do with just me and Aiden, but Kyla is only 5 days old and I can't leave her for long.

    I also find I am still sore and achy from the birth and just don't have the physical energy to haul a 30 pd toddler around.

    Does anybody have suggestions on how to control these tantrums? How to get him to nap? He naps at daycare no problem and he will be going to daycare 2 days a week, but I don't know what to do the rest of the time.

    I'm tired and getting emotional already and I'm not sure how I'm going to make through each day. My husband works nights so there isn't a huge amount of help there and like most men his main concern is finances not sanity.

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
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    Oh Dear! This has got to be the most frustrating thing for you! My daughter was four and threw tantrums just before, and when I brought baby brother home, so I feel your pain. The first two weeks are he**, I promise within a month things will seem a million times better.

    It's just getting there, isn't it? Is there anyone that can watch your boy so you can pay attention to baby without feeling guilty? Is baby on bottles so you can have someone watch her and have uninterrupted one-on-one with Big Brother (if not this one is a toughie).

    I don't want to sound corny, but your little boy dealt with the excitement and anticipation of "mommy's having a baby", had mommy go to the hospital, and now has lost his mommy to someone that came home with her right now, and that's hard for him. His life is turned upside down for the moment, and it's going to take a bit for him to figure out where he fits in again.

    I think it may just be a grit-your-teeth and bear it time for a bit, until you get into the routine of things. Five days is a very early time for you to expect your Big Boy to settle into the way things are going to be from "now on". I would suggest removing yourself from the tantrums (make sure he is safe and Walk Away!)...you need to remove the emotion in yourself from these reactions. Hold him as much as you can (Come sit on Mommy's lap while the baby is sleeping; special Mommy and You times!!). Do you have books about a new baby and/or being a big brother? Have "special toys" for when you have to feed the baby. Naps and eating and power struggles will fall into place in time. This will become your Mantra; Time will cause everything to change, and eventually things will definately get easier.

    Hang in there!!

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    I only have one so please know that what I write is not from experience and should be taken with a grain of salt. I am no expert.

    I would have to agree that this is going to be a tough time for your little guys. a Lot of change to experience and a struggle for where he fits in now. I think that understanding and not feeding into the tantrums is always a good option. walk away...or give some space between you when he does this. when he is calm you can talk... but approach it froma "mommy knows you are up set and things have changed a lot " standpoint ... rather than a "you can not be acting like that" one.

    AS FOR THE NAPS... YOU SAID YOU WERE TIRED TOO RIGHT?? wHAT ABOUT LAYING DOWN WITH HIM??? tHIS GIVES YOU GUYS SOME SPECIAL TIME... AND LOVING CUDDLES... BUT MAKES YOU STILL AVAILABLE TO GO TO YOUR NEW BABY IF NEEDED.....argh!! sorry about the caps... they were and accident and I did not want to retype it. Promise i was not yelling

    Get your big boy to help you too... make him the worlds best big brother... he can get you the wipes... or sing the baby a song... or carry the diaper bag... you get the idea.

    Good luck!!
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    I wish I had some advice. My new baby isn't even due for another 12 weeks and Cooper is throwing temper tantrums that make me want to cry. Who knows how bad it will get when the new baby gets here.

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    From my own personal experience for tantrum, prevention is the best medicine. My oldest is all about getting choice and praise. For meals, even if the question is loaded, I will always ask him what he would like "Apple or Bannana?". For getting dressed I ask him which shirt he would like to wear. I find this helps them think they are more in control and are less likely to get fustrated.
    As for the new baby thing, for me I found the 1st month consisted of alot of Thomas & Baby Einstein DVDs as a distraction tool. I did eventually figure out ways of giving him more attention while I was busy with baby like "I spy" or playing flash cards. I would even ask him to sing or count giving him lots of praise so that he felt special. One lady I knew of had a basket full of different toys she only took out when she was BF so that the oldest would look forward to it.
    I hope those ideas help! The 1st 3 months I personally found very stressful. Baby #2 was much harder for me. Good luck to you.

    MBM
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    Mother of 2 boys born May 2004 and September 2006!

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