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Thread: Child Support

  1. #1
    Senior Member Greenwaves's Avatar
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    Default Child Support

    Does any one know how long you can still apply for child support after the baby is born? I have been really procastinating on going for support and I know that I should but I have a few things stopping me.
    1) I have no clue where her father is...he took off in my 3rd trimester
    2) I don't want him to all of a sudden want to see her if I go for support

    Does anyone have any suggestions? Should I even bother going for support? My DD is a special needs child. So the extra money from support would be nice.

    April 14, 2001-May 05, 2001
    April 29, 2015

  2. #2
    Super Moderator The Ultimate London Mom!
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    I could be wrong but I do not think there is a time limit on being able to seek support. However if you did you should expect him to want to have visitation ... and likely get some sort of visitation. This is not a judgement on his ability to be a parent... just that if you are legally acknowledging him as the father (ie by going for support) then he would have parental rights unless a judge denied him of them. Also is he listed on the birth certificate??? Because if he is not you may have to have a paternity test done (at your expense as the petitioner) in order to prove he is the father to get the courts to make him pay. Sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear... and i could be wrong too... just what i am thinking.

    However should you do it... I think yes. You made your child together and he should have some responsibilty.
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  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    there is no time limit on asking for support

    as for being worried that he may want access after getting support legally he is entitled to access wether or not he is paying support they 2 seperate issues.

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! mamabear's Avatar
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    From what I understand, there is no time limit, and at any point in time you can go after him for child support AND back child support, just the same way at any point in time he can come back and go after access to your child.
    Here are my thoughts on this:
    Her "father" has chosen not to be a part of her life. Should he decide to be a part of her life solely because he has to pay for her he obviously does not care about her at all, and would be a lousy father to her. Personally, I'd wait it out. When she's much older (I'm thinking teenager), go after back child support. At this point he'll owe you a bunch of money, and, should he suddenly decide that he wants to see your daughter, she'll be able to see right through him and realize that he has no real cares for her and hopefully she won't be as hurt if he behaves irresponsibly.
    This may sound bad, but HE is choosing not to be part of her life; it's not like you're encouraging him to stay out of her life, and as I've said, if he suddenly started seeing her once he realized that he has to pay for her, he's going to be a pretty bad parent. If you choose not to go after child support for several years, you are giving him the opportunity to reapproach you and let you know that he has thought about things and decided that he wants to be a part of your DD's life - this way, you know that, should he decide to be a part of her life, he is making a genuine decision and not doing this out of spite because you are making him pay child support. Really, this way you are giving him an opportunity.
    I grew up without a father, and I never missed him because I didn't know him. My father realized shortly after my parents were divorced that he wasn't a good father and he decided that he would rather not be a part of our lives at all than be a bad father to us - and he paid child support on time every month, because he accepted that it was his responsibility to do so. And to be honest, I'm glad that he wasn't part of our lives, because as I said, I didn't miss him, while I remember having friends at school who were hurt when their fathers would say they are going to pick them up on the weekend and then never show up, or see them very rarely and only when it was convenient for them, etc. I truly believe that, as long as you make sure that your DD has a good male influence in her life, it is better for her biological father not to be a part of her life at all, rather than for him to be in and out of her life.
    When she is old enough to realize that, I'd go after back child support and use the money to pay off any debt you've accrued now, and help pay for her post-secondary education.
    JMO, but I'd talk to a lawyer about whether or not that is feasible.

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