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  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! Mommy2Cuties's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Was in London but now back in BC!
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    Talking Thank you for the emails

    I didnt write this but I sort of wish I had......

    Dear Friends

    As we move closer to the end of another year I wanted to thank you for all
    the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the past year.

    I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat sh*t in
    the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
    envelope that needs sealing.

    Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to charity. But that
    will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates and Microsoft are
    sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the
    senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars
    with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died

    And I need no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
    looking out for me.

    I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to
    seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

    I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car
    so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

    I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a food
    sample and rob me.

    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
    and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore and

    I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is
    lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

    I can't even pick up the five bucks I found dropped in the car park because
    it was probably put there by a crazed axe murderer waiting under my car to
    grab my leg.

    If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 10
    minutes, a large pelican with an acute case of diarrhoea will sit on your
    head and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a
    most unsightly hairy hump.

    I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door
    neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's plumber - and it
    was on Good Morning Australia.

    By the way.... Did you know that a South American scientist has, after a
    lengthy study, discovered that people with low IQs who don't have enough
    sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse.

    Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
    I stole Turtle's Lollipop! xoxo

    Nicole, mama to Miss A (April 2005), Miss K (Sept 2007), Angel Baby (August 2008), and Baby A (June 2009)

  2. #2
    Expert Forum User MrsKK's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
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    *LOL* I use my laptop, and use the touchpad thank goodness...

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    purgatory :(
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    AHA!!!!! lol I think I know a few people to send this one along to. lol hehe and I didn't hold the mouse the whole time

  4. #4
    Junior Member
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    Aug 2007
    just outside London
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    Oh I have to send this to a whole bunch of people! Thanks for making me chuckle today!!

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