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  1. #1
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    Default She's weaned herself.

    When I had my DD last year I was hopeful that I could BF, however I knew how difficult it was for many. It took a good couple of weeks to get the hang of it (for me and my DD). She never took a bottle at all, so for so many months it was just the two of us for the feedings. She's 13.5 months old now... and the last month she's really cut back on what she's wanted.

    She's down to once a day, normally at night. She will go to bed without BFing, but will normally wake about 2 hours later, will BF and then go right back to bed for the night.

    Last night she didn't wake up. I'm so happy that I was able to provide for her until she didn't want it anymore. I was so heartbroken.... that she didn't need it, want it, and I really miss that "us" time together. Tonight was the same and now I can't sleep. I don't think that I realized how much I loved our time together now that it's gone.
    Married 2005. DD1 2007. DD2 2011. Beta Sigma Phi 2013.
    ... and one cute little kitty!


  2. #2
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    Good for you. I think it's really wonderful that you were able to nurse that long. To be honest, im not really surprised that you will miss it. Bfing is certainly a magical moment between mom and baby.

  3. #3
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    It is really great you could nurse that long. DS#1 breastfed until 12 months and then he just did not need me and weaned himself. I was very sad but knew I would breastfed again with another child. So far DS#2 is enjoying breastfeeding and he is 9m and I hope to nurse at least for year and beyond.
    Granola is a Mum to 2 wonderful boys

  4. #4
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    I am hoping that my DS will hold on that long!!! Good for you nursing for 13 months. My DS is already starting to wean..... : ( (he likes food too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    Catherine
    Mama of 2 wonderful Children,
    July 2006 & January 2008

  5. #5
    Ana
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    Aw, I am sorry it happened before you were quite ready!

  6. #6
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    Just thinking out loud here...

    Are you certain she's done? I could just be a nursing strike or something. Most babies won't self wean that early (before approx 2 y/o) unless you are also practising one of the gentlest forms of mother led weaning of "Don't offer. Don't Refuse."

    The following is from kellymom:

    Normal developmental stages

    It is common and normal for babies to show less interest in breastfeeding sometime during the second six months. This is developmental and not an indication that baby wishes to stop nursing.

    Older babies tend to be distractible and want to be a part of all the action around them. Your baby may be more interested in learning about the world than in eating during the day (these same babies often increase their night nursing to make up for their busy days).
    If baby is being given a bottle or sippy cup frequently, he discovers that he can walk/crawl around with it and not miss a thing, whereas nursing generally requires sitting still and not looking around for a few minutes. For this reason, some babies develop a preference for the bottle or cup at this developmental stage.

    Milestone times
    , such as crawling and walking, and stressful times like teething or illness can also cause baby to be less interested in nursing - these types of things are common in the second six months. Nursing strikes (when baby quits nursing suddenly) also tend to be more common around this age, perhaps due to the same factors.

    Our society tends to produce the expectation that babies can and should become independent as quickly as possible. Babies are considered more independent when they sleep alone, sleep through the night, potty train, wean, etc., As a result, babies are often pushed toward these milestones before they are ready - emotionally or physically. Because of this societal mindset, many moms don't even consider the idea that baby's disinterest in breastfeeding might be temporary, but simply go ahead and wean.

    This is not saying that a mother's choice to wean a baby this age is necessarily a bad choice for her family. A mother who wishes to wean her child at this point can certainly take advantage of baby's temporary disinterest in nursing to initiate mother-led weaning.

    However, she should understand that this is not self-weaning but a temporary developmental stage. Mom is making the choice, not baby. Once mom knows that she has a choice in the matter, she can better make an informed decision of whether to wean or to seek the benefits of continued nursing.
    Food for thought.

    MM
    *sigh*



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  7. #7
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    That's great that you were able to BF until 13.5 months. I wasn't able to with either of my sons. I had tried everything that was recommended but there just was not enough milk (this same thing happened to my mother and my grandmother and I think even my great grandmother, so in my case it is possibly hereditary?). It broke my heart to see all of these other women being able to successfully BF but I wasn't able to. I can imagine how sad it must be for you right now too. I think whenever our LO's outgrow a certain age/stage and no longer need us for every little thing, so to speak, it does break our hearts in a bitter sweet kinda way.
    Sending lots of hugs to you right now they grow up so darn fast don't they?

  8. #8
    Expert Forum User Siana's Avatar
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    Aw, I know the feeling mama. My first baby *very* gradually dropped feedings, and even though I saw it coming all that time, it was still bitter sweet when it was all over.

    FWIW, from what I've seen and heard, many babies around the end of the first year are easy to wean. They're developing at an immensely rapid pace, and with so much going on, it's easy for them to just forget to nurse some days. If you feel you'd like to continue, then you can offer. One can never force a child to nurse
    Mama to two
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  9. #9
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    Congratulations on being able to nurse for that long...I can't imagine NOT nursing right now, and the thought of DS welf-weaning breaks my heart! It is bitter-sweet, as it's one step closer to having an independant little person.





  10. #10
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    It's been a few weeks since I last updated... The above made sense about me not offering so she wasn't eating, so I decided to try offering more throughout the day. She really wasn't interested at all, except in the morning when she wakes up. I'm glad that we tried a little more, just to ensure that she did want to stop.

    She will now BF every morning, like our little good-morning ritual. It's nice. That's the only part of the day that she will BF, and I think that she can take it or leave it. For the last month, she will only eat for about 3 minutes each morning. I think that we're going to stop in the next week or so, just because she really doesn't seem interested in doing it any more. It's been like that for close to a month, so I think that we've come to the end of it.
    Married 2005. DD1 2007. DD2 2011. Beta Sigma Phi 2013.
    ... and one cute little kitty!


  11. #11
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    I'm glad you still have a little you guys time! Not to freak you out or anything but when I read your first post I wondered if you were pregnant. My dd suddenly self-weaned and I was still offering so I couldn't figure it out, many months later I was involved in a discussion here and MilkyMama pointed out the timing of when I probably conceived being approximately when dd weaned.
    Mommy to three adorable kids!

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