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  1. #1
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    Default Calling all Hsing Moms ...I need some advice please..

    Well I've posted before regarding homeschooling my two boys ages 5 & almost 3....this September I enrolled my oldest in PS -he's in an SK PM class everyday....we've given it a go for the last two months & here's what I've found so far....
    while my oldest enjoys the new experiences as far as singing group songs, class trips , the library & his new little friends...the academic aspect of it is less than thrilling to him...he is WAY ahead for his age at 5--reading at a grade 2 or 3 level & DH has just started him with multiplication because he is bored of addition & subtraction ...lol he has always had a HUGE interest in learning anything new ---he expecially loves science & reading work....I am so torn about what to do I find him not interested in his school work because it literally BORES him....the books he's bringing home every night to read he could care less to read because they are three words per page & he says "this book was boring Mom" the homework they are sending him home is useless ---i.e colour the big ant red colour the small ant yellow or trace the number 1 & 2...these are things I'm doing with my 2 year old right now.....I see him losing interest in doing work activities with me & not really caring about learning at home & I desperatley don't want him to lose that passion he has for learning....but the social aspect he's getting from school is great -the little friends he's made I'm so hapyp for that.....the other negative thing I've noticed is his behaviour after school...I feel like he's a different child...he's soooo saucy & the things he's says plus he's already dealt with bullying by one boy in his class who threatend to "butt" him if he didn't let him play on his computer at Centres time & this child has also threated before just pointless silly things but STILL they are 5!!!!!I just want the best experiences for my son & I've already been contacted by the teacher during the third week of school because she noticed how much further ahead Caleb was....she basically said there isn't much they can do for me...send tougher books home etc (which I haven't really seen) I just feel like his learning is going backwards but his socailizing is going forward (which is what I want).....plus I'm getting pressure from others (not DH he's on board with me 100%) that Caleb won't "get what he needs" if he's not in PS....I'm worried he isn't going to get what he needs IN PS....I need help /advice/ experiences from other HSing Moms it sounds so great to be able to have your child learn at their own pace & I feel like it might be our ONLY option....I just want him to have little friends & enjoy as well as learn what he wants....my questions are :

    1. For those of you who had children in the system & then pulled them -how have they done? are you feeling like they are getting the same social benefit from meeting with other HSing families & are there groups where the same kids can meet every week? I want him to have friends he can play with on a regular basis to build relationships...

    2. How does it work with High school (I know this is far ahead) but it's one of my concerns ...how will they make the transisition into highschoolwhen they've never been to "regular" school before -& if you don't send them to highschool how does it work with College/University entry?

    3. What other actiivites do you all put them in? i.e sports etc??

    For those of you still with me -thanks for listening & answering ...I am one confused Mama here!!!!

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    I don't have a lot of time right now so I'll quickly answer then come back later! I pulled my kids out a month ago, for different reasons than you. My kids are much happier now and not as exhausted as they once were. We have lots of get-togethers with other HSing families and they don't seem to be missing out on the social front at all (and to be honest, in two years of kindergarten we never had a play date anyway, so it couldn't be any worse!). Are you a member of A Different Drum? I'll post the link later or maybe someone else has time to. It's a network of HSing families in London and there are get-togethers organized quite frequently from what I've seen, as well as support from other parents (which to me was WAY more important right now!). For high school they can go, or not. There are other ways to get into Uni/College. Hecate's DD recently started high school though so she could comment more on that.
    For other activities we do karate, swimming and Beavers/Sparks. You can do anything you want through Spectrum and other venues though!
    I will say that the experience has not been all sunshine and roses for me. I am extremely stressed right now. While I think it was the right choice for my kids it is not a great choice for me, but that is because of our circumstances (I'm a WAHM but right now there's not much W getting done - causing much financical concern). I'm sure that's not true for everyone though, just don't want you to think that it is always wonderful.
    I have to go now, sorry, I'll be back later and hopefully other people can comment also.

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    I pulled my daughter out of gr 2 this past april, as we spent our first 4 yrs of school this exact same way! My daughter learned to read WELL at 3, is in love with science and math, etc etc...there isn't a darn thing the school can do for you and if they do find something they tend to do it during time periods where it's not a smart option(like missing library, or computers class, or gym?!) and then the kids start to resent why your child is so special and going away to do things, etc....it alienates them...
    SO, i pulled her out and got to spend a WONDERFUL bonding period with her of 6 months...she actually went back to school yesterday. A decision that made me sick with worry, etc....but it actually went awesome and she came home laughing that she still was ahead and knew what she was doing...
    I no longer know what i think of homeschooling...I put her back in because i was embarrassed and guilty over the fact that i couldn't seem to get my act together for her....we did lots of fun activities with the homeschooling community and met LOTS of wonderful people. But we couldn't seem to get the homeschooling going....and she started to get bored and angry again regardless of all the cool stuff we were doing and even though we have TONS of cool educational stuff for her to do(and she was doing it)...she needed to go back to school....and i hope that was the right decision....i guess i'll let ya know!

    But I think my opinion is PULL him out! I currently have my JK'er out because she is super-reader girl too(like her sister) and i was obviously horrified to know that the exact same thing was going to repeat itself with her...so she is out, and i have NO intentions of putting her in school anytime soon!! I don't need her love of learning corrupted!!

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    1. For those of you who had children in the system & then pulled them -how have they done? are you feeling like they are getting the same social benefit from meeting with other HSing families & are there groups where the same kids can meet every week? I want him to have friends he can play with on a regular basis to build relationships...

    I pulled my dd out of JK at this time last year. She is a much happier child out of school than in school. Just like your son, she was very angry when she would come home from school and it started to effect her relationship with our family. Once she came home to learn, things improved so much. The social part of hsing is one of my favourite parts. There is an incredible community here in London and we have no shortage of social time. The nice thing is that my kid's get to spend hours playing with their friends on their terms and actually have more play time than they would in school. They are also developing deep friendships and opportunities to socialize with children of different ages. There is much more cross-peer play and I think it is great for kids to play with kids of different ages without all the crap that can come with peer pressure at school.

    Here is a link to the forum of A Different Drum http://www.adifferentdrum.org
    There is also a yahoo group but we are trying to transfer over to a forum format. The forum is a bit slow right now but will pick up when others move over from the yahoo group. Many field trips are planned through this group. In the last 2 weeks we went to Circle R Ranch, a corn maze and are having a Halloween Party this week with about 60 families.

    As I said no shortage of socializing

    2. How does it work with High school (I know this is far ahead) but it's one of my concerns ...how will they make the transisition into highschoolwhen they've never been to "regular" school before -& if you don't send them to highschool how does it work with College/University entry?

    I will let Hecate reply to this as this is where she is at with her oldest child.

    3. What other actiivites do you all put them in? i.e sports etc??

    My oldest is in drama, art and aikido right now. The best thing is that her art and aikido classes are specifically for homeschoolers so they are during the day, instead of the evening. She takes swimming in the winter/spring and plays soccer in the summer.

    I hope that is helpful. I recommend reading "Teach Your Own" by John Holt as a good intro to homeschooling. He talks a lot about how school can lead to children losing their love of learning for many of the same reasons you are seeing in your own child.

    I love hsing and I could write pages and pages about the benefits it has had for my family. Good luck with your decision.
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by scrappymom View Post
    I pulled my daughter out of gr 2 this past april, as we spent our first 4 yrs of school this exact same way! My daughter learned to read WELL at 3, is in love with science and math, etc etc...there isn't a darn thing the school can do for you and if they do find something they tend to do it during time periods where it's not a smart option(like missing library, or computers class, or gym?!) and then the kids start to resent why your child is so special and going away to do things, etc....it alienates them...
    SO, i pulled her out and got to spend a WONDERFUL bonding period with her of 6 months...she actually went back to school yesterday. A decision that made me sick with worry, etc....but it actually went awesome and she came home laughing that she still was ahead and knew what she was doing...
    I no longer know what i think of homeschooling...I put her back in because i was embarrassed and guilty over the fact that i couldn't seem to get my act together for her....we did lots of fun activities with the homeschooling community and met LOTS of wonderful people. But we couldn't seem to get the homeschooling going....and she started to get bored and angry again regardless of all the cool stuff we were doing and even though we have TONS of cool educational stuff for her to do(and she was doing it)...she needed to go back to school....and i hope that was the right decision....i guess i'll let ya know!

    But I think my opinion is PULL him out! I currently have my JK'er out because she is super-reader girl too(like her sister) and i was obviously horrified to know that the exact same thing was going to repeat itself with her...so she is out, and i have NO intentions of putting her in school anytime soon!! I don't need her love of learning corrupted!!
    Not to hijack but I just wanted to say that I am wishing your daughter all the best in school Christy. I hope it works out for her and your family. I think it is great that you are using the system when you need it and that you are being flexible in terms of meeting your dds needs. There is no one right way.
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

    Need a doula or prenatal classes? www.babeezeinarms.com

    "Me thinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow."
    - Henry David Thoreau

    "
    Children are not our own art products to be turned out well, but their own life work in continual process. -Jan Fortune Wood"

  6. #6
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    I'll comment on high school since thats where we are at right now with my oldest and what I have to say there is definitely of use to those with younger kids.

    We do an alternative form on homeschooling called unschooling, which in a nutshell means we follow our children's lead as to what they are interested in learning, dont force anything they arent interested in, believe that the drive to learn is inherent in children and that the methods used to teach in school actually kill that drive and that the usual tools used to educate children (text books, workbooks, assignments, drills ect) are not only unneccessary but can be counterproductive.

    So my 15 yr old daughter has been educated, or rather has educated herself with our help in this way since birth. We have followed her interests, she has done one workbook that she asked for at age 12, of her own volition, that she disciplined herself to do because she wanted to learn math, we have learned out in the real world, doing real things.

    This year she decided she wanted to try high school. She would have been in grade 10. She took grade 9 math, grade 10 history and grade 9, then 10 english. Despite never having been taught math is a school setting, she is excelling in math and history and since english was absolutely useless for her at her level, she was able to get the guidance to waive the prerequisites and take grade 12 philosophy in which she is not only excelling, but really really enjoying herself.

    She is not trying to get her OSSD. As far as she is concerned, she is there because this is the experience thats available to her right now and she was feeling like being unschooled wasnt giving her enough variety. As for as post secondary, every college or university has its own policies, but ALL have some policy for dealing with homeschooled students. You dont need an OSSD to get there and some dont even require you ever set foot in a classroom. Others want to see some university prep courses so they know if you can handle the work. I have even heard that in some universities the policies vary from department to department.

    Here is a blog written by a lady who has researched the topic very well and provides some illumination:

    http://www.rainsberger.ca/blog/unive...chool-diploma/

    As far as whether you can do this or that your son's needs will be met ina home environment, I really recommend a BOOK! (I am always recommending books ) Its called Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense By David Guterson. Its available from the public library and its written by a high school teachers whose wife homeschools their children. Its a great read for a beginner about how successful homeschooled kids are in the academic world and in life, both socially and careers-wise.
    Last edited by Ana; 10-28-2008 at 09:07 AM.

  7. #7
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    Surely there are some kids in your neighbourhood with whom he could play, and build relationships? If not, try posting on a homeschooling website or here even, for someone in a similar situation who would like to commit to a regular playdate. If he sees this child, (similar age etc) regularly they're bound to bond. Don't make it all structured, just have him over to play kwim?

    Also he could join Scouts or whatever it's called for their age group.

    I didn't send ds to JK for many reasons; the only reason he went to SK was at his own request to have kids to play with. We tried going to parks, oeyc, etc but there were never kids his age and he just craved friends. He's enjoying school, but we do not have the same issues you do -- he doesn't GET homework, so any bookwork done at home IS his level (which I'm sure is probably beyond what they do in the classroom). I do admit this class is much more academically driven than his one in Windsor, for which i'm grateful because at least he's not just playing the whole time -- I do want him to understand that schools expect certain things from you at certain times, and if you choose to stay in the system you have to abide by those rules kwim?
    I wouldn't hesitate for a second though, ot pull him if he ever asked. We were really enjoying homeschooling. He got so much more from it than just book stuff too, he learned to operate all dh's power tools in practical experiences, he learend about grade/gradient (I don't get it myself lol), soldering, baking ,etc.

    I guess my point is he can still form relationships and thrive out of school. My son is super social and he didn't do JK, then switched SK classes after two and a half weeks, and still did fine.
    It really depends on the child. With my son, if you play together once you're 'friends', and as he grows up I'm sure he'll be pickier but I'm all for letting him pursue those friendships outside of school if he chooses to stay home again. Until then though...I'm letting him try school, because I don't want to be accused of keeping him home for the wrong reasons.
    Also one BIG reason we DId keep him home before, was because he got to see Daddy more that way, as Daddy was often away a lot and when he was there, it was better tobe able to spend time together than have school to attend. Well now Daddy is gone 25/30 days, so I had lost that excuse

    Good luck. From what you describe I'd either private school or homeschool, for me I'd choose homeschool but that also depends on what you like, too.
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    Check out this youtube video on unschooling and post-secondary education
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD5bnyDWLP8
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

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    Carlos Ricci is such a great advocate for unschooling!

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