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  1. #1
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    Default Do you homeschool all your children?

    Just wondering if the people that are homeschooling automatically do it for all their children? My oldest I think would really benefit from HS, he's having a rough time. My next oldest is actually enjoying school and I think she might prefer it to home (although that might change if she knew her brother was at home). So are there families where some kids are going to school while others are at home? How well does that work? Is there any kind of jealousy involved?

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    Hi,
    I think there are a few out there who do this. You may want to post this on the DD group as you will probably get a larger response.
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

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    We plan to home-educate all of our children. For us, our choice to educate our children outside of conventional school is an educational and lifestyle priority that we want for our entire family as a whole.


    But as to your situation...
    Quote Originally Posted by mum_of_four View Post
    My next oldest is actually enjoying school and I think she might prefer it to home (although that might change if she knew her brother was at home).
    [...]
    Is there any kind of jealousy involved?
    If your oldest is educated outside of school because it's his preference, and your second oldest goes to school because she prefers it over staying home, why would it cause jealousy? They're both having the life and childhood that they prefer most for themselves.

    If you're worried about your daughter potentially being jealous or resentful about going to school while her brother stays home, you could just give her the choice. And keep that choice open to her over time, both ways. If she chooses to go to school because she likes it more than she'd like not going to school, then she should be happy with that and not be jealous, because she's going to school of her own free will. If she ends up deciding (either right away when you pull your son out, or later after seeing her brother be homeschooled for a while), that she'd rather be homeschooled like her brother than go to school, then she could make that switch. As long as you keep her options available to her and let her make her own free choice (and let her modify that choice if/when needed), there should be no reason for jealousy or resentment.

    If you think that your son would thrive best at home, and your daughter may prefer continuing to go to school, then perhaps just start with taking your son out (unless you actively want to homeschool them both, which would be perfectly okay too). Then, after seeing her brother homeschool, if she does decide that she'd rather spend her days learning at home and beyond with you and her sibling(s), you can always allow her to start homeschooling at that point. Or, if she ends up continuing to be happy going to school, you can just continue on with that. You don't have to decide once and for all right now; you can always make adjustments to whatever works for your family over time.

    Have you asked your daughter what she would prefer? Perhaps she already has some ideas and feedback about what type of educational and life environment she feels would suit her best.

    Overall, if you think homeschool and public school could both be healthy and constructive for her, I'd just let her choose. And, whichever choice she makes, I'd continue to let her choose and modify that choice if desired in the future. As long as it's her choice, I think that that will go a long way to minimize or eliminate any potential jealousy issues.
    Last edited by Ceili; 09-28-2008 at 04:02 PM.
    formerly Kathy

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    We homeschool both DD's....but did question putting one of them in...we contemplated putting the younger one in because we thought she needed some help putting herself "out there" more(she's rather shy)......and we wondered if we should put the older one in because we were afraid we couldn't keep up with her insane need for knowledge!!
    But right now, they're both home and we're trying desperately to accomodate both their needs.

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    I homeschool my youngest and I will also be teaching my grade 12 girl some courses due to them being full at her highschool with school approval.

    We also have two others in highschool but honestly we will homeschool our youngest all the way through highschool.
    ~ Annie ~
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    I do have to say, though, that one of the things that I love about homeschooling is that it enables our kids to continue to spend lots of time together as siblings. If they were in school, they would be separated from each other for much of the day, simply because they were born in different calendar years from each other and thus would be in separate classes/grades. But since we choose to educate them outside of school, they're free to spend as much time together as they want to (as well as being free to pursue their own interests individually as well). I love that our kids will have this time together in childhood, to be companions to each other on a daily basis, and to have more time and opportunities to build, maintain, and deepen their relationships with each other than they would if they spent their days apart. Homeschooling allows us all to have more time together as a family, which, in my opinion, is one of the best things about it.

    So, while I do think that it should be feasible for you to homeschool one of your children and not the other, especially if that is what they both want for themselves, I do think there could be positive aspects to homeschooling together as a whole family as well. It is, after all, a really nice way of life, and a lovely thing to share together.
    Last edited by Ceili; 09-28-2008 at 10:52 PM.
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    Yes, my kids get along so well when they actually get the chance to play together. I'm finding those opportunities are fewer and fewer the older they get, and that when they get home from school there's only fighting, not playing - I think that's their way of destressing from the day.

    Well based on my morning so far I'm totally done with school! I have four kids up and ready to leave. It's 7:30 am. We're all tired and cranky and it's only Monday. I've been up since 4:30 so I could get some work done before the madness started. My oldest has started the daily grind about not wanting to go, that will escalate over the next 15 minutes until the bus arrives. I spent about two hours yesterday sorting out various paperwork, making sure backpacks and lunch bags are packed. They won't have enough time to eat their lunches.

    There has to be more to life than this. For both them and me.

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    I have heard that over and over about the time spent preparing kids to go to school! It seems you do have care for them for 6 hours a day, but you spend an inordinate amount of time making sure they have lunches and snacks, are dressed and ready, have their paperwork and get on the bus.

    I have to second the sibling togetherness point. Since we have moved and my older son doesnt have his neighbourhood friends, he has started looking at his brother as a friend, rather than a nuisance. And even better, where my younger son idolized his big brother, now that he gets more attention from him and knows his brother needs him to play with, he has started to stand up for himself and demand better treatment. The dynamics have changed for the better! I think even my daughter, who really doesnt like my older son much has more of a relationship with him than she would have had they been seperated by school because she has had to interact with him and they have a shared history together because of being together every day. I hope this means when they are adults we can get through a Christmas dinner together

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    Quote Originally Posted by mum_of_four View Post

    Well based on my morning so far I'm totally done with school! I have four kids up and ready to leave. It's 7:30 am. We're all tired and cranky and it's only Monday. I've been up since 4:30 so I could get some work done before the madness started. My oldest has started the daily grind about not wanting to go, that will escalate over the next 15 minutes until the bus arrives. I spent about two hours yesterday sorting out various paperwork, making sure backpacks and lunch bags are packed. They won't have enough time to eat their lunches.

    There has to be more to life than this. For both them and me.
    Wow, I wasn't even up then. I hope that you find a solution that you're all happy with, MoF. You all deserve some happiness.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mum_of_four View Post
    Yes, my kids get along so well when they actually get the chance to play together. I'm finding those opportunities are fewer and fewer the older they get, and that when they get home from school there's only fighting, not playing - I think that's their way of destressing from the day.

    Well based on my morning so far I'm totally done with school! I have four kids up and ready to leave. It's 7:30 am. We're all tired and cranky and it's only Monday. I've been up since 4:30 so I could get some work done before the madness started. My oldest has started the daily grind about not wanting to go, that will escalate over the next 15 minutes until the bus arrives. I spent about two hours yesterday sorting out various paperwork, making sure backpacks and lunch bags are packed. They won't have enough time to eat their lunches.

    There has to be more to life than this. For both them and me.
    I call it one of the very many 'myths of school' - that you actually have more time for yourself and are less busy because the kids are in school. The prep time, the getting them out the door and to school, dealing with the fallout of a tired, stressed kid when they get home and then all the resonsibilities of being involved in the school make for more busy time than homeschooling does. And that is even before homework comes into play.

    I was thinking of you yesterday MO4 and wondering if I was painting too rosy of a picture of hsing for you....if it really was as easy as I and others are saying. I decided that I was being honest. The hardest part of hsing is the stress of stepping so clearly outside of the mainstream and all the questioning it takes to get there and remain strong in that decision when seeds of doubt creep in. Everything else is easier - we sleep in until we are ready to wake up, our pace during the day is based on how we are all feeling, we eat all of our meals together and my kids spend the vast majority of the day engaged in play together. Sure they fight - but less than they did when my oldest was in school.

    There is more to life and homeschooling for us makes our days so much less stressful and so much more joyful.I feel like we get to live life fully instead of running throught the motions to get through the day like we did when she was in school.

    Sure, there are days where I would love to send them on a school bus and not have them back until the end of the day but as you just laid out so clearly it isn't as simple as that. There are always tradeoffs and for us the tradeoffs of school are way too big.

    I feel for you because I remember being in a similar place as you last year. To me where you are is the hardest part - trying to decide what is right for your family and weighing all of your options. It gets easier from here, whatever you decide.
    Mom of 2 girls, unschooler, feminist, runner and just general lover of life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mum_of_four View Post
    There has to be more to life than this. For both them and me.
    There can be.

    The way I see it, school is a resource available to families and children to use if it meets their needs and improves and enriches their lives in some way. But, if it doesn't suit your family's needs or preferences, and enrich your family's lives for the better, it's okay to not use that resource. There are many other ways available to nurture our children and to give them the support they need as they learn and grow. You and your children can choose what resources you want to include in your lives, based on what has the most value to them and you, and build the lives and existence that you want to have for yourselves. Whether or not that happens to include school is your choice.
    Last edited by Ceili; 09-29-2008 at 09:06 PM. Reason: noticed an editing mistake
    formerly Kathy

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