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  1. #1
    beanersmum
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    Default Still haven't weaned...

    DS will be 2 this weekend and I'm STILL nursing. It is still an enjoyable experience for the most part, but I've sort of been ready to end this stage for awhile.

    DS only nurses at bedtime and DURING the night--usually 3 to 4 times. Doesn't ask for it during the day at all. So it's been 2 years since I slept longer than 3 hours straight---and I would like to see DS sleep more during the night as well.

    I've been really wishy-washy about weaning----I certainly don't think he will initiate the process, LOL. I would like to start thinking of having another child in the next year or less....and I have decided that I would prefer not to nurse during pregnancy.

    So the most 'firm' I've been so far is starting to tell DS that he can have more 'later' when he wakes during the night...and I tell him that it's all gone right now and mommy needs to make more. At first he just fussed for a few minutes and then went back to sleep. So I thought we were making real progress.

    The last few times have been all-out meltdowns and it just breaks my heart with guilt for 'rejecting' him.

    A friend has told me she eventually just had to cut it out altogether for 48 hours and then after that, DS never asked for it again. I've talked about doing that, but I just feel guilty about it.

    Does anyone else have any experiences with this? Any suggestions for how I might best approach this without upsetting him too much??

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Leslie's Avatar
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    Go away! Seriously a girls weekend with no DS. That way you will know what he is like when you aren't around at all.

    What better excuse to enjoy yourself for the weekend! LOL!


    Good luck, I also nursed till 2 however I think it was more my need than his. On his 2nd birthday I decided to do the don't offer don't refuse theory and he never asked again. I was 6 months pg as well.
    Leslie




  3. #3
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    Often children will wean of their own accord early in pregnancy, or at least much more easily with a little mama prompting.

    If nightnursing is bothering, and I get where you are coming from with that, could you nightwean? I wonder if he would nurse more during the day instead?

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User Siana's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that night nursing is preventing restful sleep for you, beanersmom I so often hear the opposite, but I too have occassionally felt frustrated with night nursing, so I can understand where you are coming from.

    From you post, I gathered you're taking a gentle approach to weaning, and not being wishy-washy I think you're very empathetic toward your DS -- you understand how much nursing means to him, and are taking the time to figure out how and what approaches to take that'll not stress you both out. I think that's truly wonderful - kudos to you (:

    I hope this comprehensive webpage for Nightweaning helps:
    Night Weaning
    By Kelly Bonyata, IBCLC, Becky Flora, IBCLC and Paula Yount
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

    ETA: I agree with thismama re: nursing and pregnancy. FWIW, a lot of people enjoy nursing during pregnancy. For me I believe the discomfort I had (short term) was mostly related to not taking good enough care of myself during that time. Once I had that figured out, it was smooth sailing. I'm don't wish to convince anyone either way, just sharing my viewpoint/experience.
    Mama to two
    Etsy store: Merry Medley

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User bikruca's Avatar
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    have you tried offering him water and a cuddle at night? we still keep a sippy cup with water on the bedside table for ds...

    best of luck... i know how hard it can be to balance it all..
    Heather.

    Push button. Receive bacon.

  6. #6
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    have you tried offering him water and a cuddle at night? we still keep a sippy cup with water on the bedside table for ds...
    I was going to suggest the same thing. When I wanted to night wean DS I would only offer him water if he woke up within 3 hours of the last time I nursed - if it was longer than 3 hours then I would nurse him. I lengthened the time he had to go in between feeds by 1/2 hour every 4-5 days and after a couple of weeks he was sleeping 12 hours straight every night.
    I hope you can get a good nights sleep soon!
    Jodie
    Mom to 3 boys (9, 7 and 4) &
    our little girl (born Dec 2013)
    www.brightmindschildcare.ca
    www.jodie.lovablelabels.ca

  7. #7
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    Oh, I feel for you beanersmum! I wish I had some advice for you, but I think it was just luck for me. My daughter did not sleep through the night until she was night weaned at 18 months. I'd tried a few times to get her to go back to sleep with only cuddles, but she'd cry. Finally one night she woke up about a half hour after a feeding and had just been nursed to bed an hour and half before that and I couldn't take it. So I told her she'd just had boob-boob but that we could cuddle instead. She went along with it!

    Maybe the few previous times of trying paved the way? Or at least made her more familiar with the suggestion that this time she was finally amenable to it.

    At first I had to sit her in the glider and sing and cuddle, then hold her against my shoulder, and finally cuddle her standing next to her crib before tucking her back in. But it quickly evolved to a simple hug with her head on my shoulder for a few brief moments. Then, back to bed. No boobs required!

    I hear ya on the not wanting to nurse while pregnant. I'm there now, and it ain't fun! Thank God she's night-weaned though, or I'd be going insane! Unlike Siana's experience, my nursing pain is due to pregnancy symptom of sore nipples and there's no amount of self-care that can change hormones.

    Best of luck with the night-weaning! Do you think maybe you could try talking to him a few times about not nursing at night and that maybe he'd eventually be open to it?



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