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  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! mamabear's Avatar
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    Default The anonymous feature

    I know we've talked about this before, but we haven't talked about what should be done about it. And seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I know a lot of people have said that we should just get rid of the whole feature, but IMO the feature itself has the potential to be really helpful to a lot of people; it's the abuse of the feature that's the problem.

    I'm wondering what everyone thinks should be done.

    IMO the problem could pretty easily be solved by coming up with a sticky for the S&R section with guidelines for anonymous posting and saying that anything that does not fit within the guidelines will be deleted, regardless of whether it would be considered appropriate if it wasn't posted anonymously. Basically, it would say that any anon posts not asking for advice, and any anon posts that say something that could reasonably be considered hurtful towards someone else or are used to express an opinion will be automatically deleted. (Seriously, if you can't post an opinion as yourself, that's a good indication that you shouldn't be posting it.) And then, appointing a couple of mods for the S&R forum who are on here enough to enforce the guidelines. I realize SuperMom is busy and she can't be here all the time to take care of this stuff, but someone needs to do it and I don't think it would take all that much time to appoint a mod or two and post a new sticky. I don't mean to criticize SuperMom in any way and I realize this is her forum and she can and should run it how she wants, but I think some input from those of us who use it might be useful.

  2. #2
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    I think only the OP should be permitted to post as the only anon in the thread.

    MM
    *sigh*



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  3. #3
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    It think if it bothers ppl then possibly it should be considered to have something done about it, it doesn't bother me. I have never used in in response to someones annonomous post, but I think that it is usually in your face messages when ppl do. I just brush those ppls comments off though, if they can't stand behind their words, I can't take their words seriously.

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    I agree that this isn't anything against SuperMom, I think it was a great idea to put this as an option. I've seen some great threads asking for advice as anonymous that you couldn't ask under your username and great advice been given by those who will and won't use their usernames. Talking about relationships and details is touchy and you don't necessarily want anyone to know and I like that moms here trust the community enough to give good advice when they need it without knowing who they are.

    I like your suggestions. I think you need a moderator or two who are fairly available and who can delete anonymous posts. I wonder if there is the possibility to let them have the ability to delete but not even know who it is, you know? It isn't something they would need to know, they'd just be deciding if posting anonymously is appropriate. The ones where they are insults posted anonymously is NOT appropriate. Many questions have no need to be posted anonymously other than they think the question/post will make people upset at them!

    To me the anonymous function should be reserved to allow people to share details they wouldn't otherwise share about their life, health, relationships - not to be able to hide your point of view behind...

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilkyMama View Post
    I think only the OP should be permitted to post as the only anon in the thread.

    MM
    I thought about that, but it would prevent people from being able to add in their experiences if they've gone through the same thing and again feel uncomfortable voicing that, you know?

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilkyMama View Post
    I think only the OP should be permitted to post as the only anon in the thread.

    MM
    I have to disagree. If, for instance, it's used for a valid reason - say I have a sex query for example, that I'm embarrassed about - if someone else wanted to reply, but were likewise embarrassed, they should be able to use the anon, but just say Anon #2 at the top of their post or something. It would increase the chance that people could say "Hey, you're not the only one" or something similarily reassuring to the OanonP. It's when people respond anon to say "You're lame" or whatever, that it's a problem

    ETA: slooow posting, sorry! lhastie said it too

  7. #7
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    LOL, okay, I think I just read the thread that spawned this one (or the thread that broke the camels back, so to speak). That is just ridiculous and also one of my pet posting peeves! Really, what's the point of posting to say "Hunh, never had that problem, sucks to be you." ??? And then to do it anon.... dumb.

    I do still like the anon feature, but totally agree that it needs some kind of stricter rules.

  8. #8
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    Quote Originally Posted by turtle View Post
    LOL, okay, I think I just read the thread that spawned this one (or the thread that broke the camels back, so to speak). That is just ridiculous and also one of my pet posting peeves! Really, what's the point of posting to say "Hunh, never had that problem, sucks to be you." ??? And then to do it anon.... dumb.

    I do still like the anon feature, but totally agree that it needs some kind of stricter rules.
    Yeah, I just saw the thread that got this started mamabear - that is ridiculous! that mama doesn't need those snotty responses posted anonymous I think something really needs to be done if people are going to continue posted like that anonymously

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by turtle View Post
    I have to disagree. If, for instance, it's used for a valid reason - say I have a sex query for example, that I'm embarrassed about - if someone else wanted to reply, but were likewise embarrassed, they should be able to use the anon, but just say Anon #2 at the top of their post or something. It would increase the chance that people could say "Hey, you're not the only one" or something similarily reassuring to the OanonP. It's when people respond anon to say "You're lame" or whatever, that it's a problem

    ETA: slooow posting, sorry! lhastie said it too
    I totally agree. I understand the initial frustration and I know it's been discussed before, but as turtle said, sometimes responses are there to let the first poster know that they are not the only ones and the responder may be embarrassed about the situation they are also in kwim? I am not sure excluding anyone but the original poster to use anon would work in all cases but I see that it is being abused.
    Mum to Alyssa (born April 30, 2005)

  10. #10
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    I've learned in life to not let small things like this bother me or I WILL drive myself crazy. If people are embarrassed about something and post anon thats there choice. I do agree that people shouldn't post anon to be rude to another person but I think all that can be done is for someone to delete any rude replys towards other posters that are done anon. But that may be hard to do so some of us may just have to ignore it.
    April - Mommy to Ivy, Sophia & Ryker


  11. #11
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    Is there a warning system for those who post rude things. Like say you post anon to the original poster and say something terrible about them, can't that get deleted and a PM saying that your account will be deleted if such behaviour continues? Im not sure how to run forums and such so I don't know if theres an automated thing like that or how that would work...just kind of brainstorming lol

    Sorry for the second post in a row haha
    April - Mommy to Ivy, Sophia & Ryker


  12. #12
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    There's a "report post" button on every post. Perhaps that's all we need to do is start using it to report nasty comments (anon or not) and let the mods/admin do their thing?

    MM
    *sigh*



    Breastfeeding Success Essentials:
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    Beat the "Booby Traps" to Breastfeeding Success!


    ~The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data'~

    ~Do or Do Not. There is no try.~
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  13. #13
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    I haven't used the anon. feature yet - I figure if I need to use it I probably shouldn't be posting it on a forum IMO. When I found out I was pregnant I created this username as a temporary name and was going to switch back to my normal user name once I let the cat outta the bag... except I became a little attached to my "anonymous" username.

  14. #14
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    I sometimes get annoyed when I see anons for silly things, but who am I to judge? why do I NEED to know who you are (in regards to the OP IMO)? I think anon is great to have and should be available for those "awkward" questions we all get now and then. Help is help and if you are embaressed or ashamed (whatever) you should have the right to post this way. I actually like reading anons...they seem honest and someone looking for help.

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    Quote Originally Posted by newmum2 View Post
    I sometimes get annoyed when I see anons for silly things, but who am I to judge? why do I NEED to know who you are (in regards to the OP IMO)? I think anon is great to have and should be available for those "awkward" questions we all get now and then. Help is help and if you are embaressed or ashamed (whatever) you should have the right to post this way. I actually like reading anons...they seem honest and someone looking for help.
    EXACTLY! I don't feel the NEED to know who the poster is. I think the actual problem is being rude and if i see posts that are unacceptable ill click on the report post thing from now on. Other than that the anon thing doesn't bother me any.
    April - Mommy to Ivy, Sophia & Ryker


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