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  1. #1
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    Default anyone have a bossy child?

    I have a school aged child, eldest of 3 kids. 6 years old, who is very bossy and demanding most of the times. Its usually her way or the highway. She always wants to be first, very impulsive with grabbing things out of middle siblings hands just to get her way, she wants to be the leader and always wants to tell people how to do things. She wants to make up all the rules. She can interrupt you in your talk, scream if she does not have your attention, not listen to your demands and reasonings most of the times, but if she does she might come up with her own demand that if it is met she will then say she will abide by your demand. For example she will say "if you talk nice to me then I will get ready", however even though I do talk nice to her initially and ask her in a calm asking way even with the words 'please', if it sounds even a bit rushed after a while of her not listening, or I start to sound the least bit impatient in her terms or start laying down some ultimatums to get her to cooperate , she will say "I'm not listening to you, say it in a nice way". So then I find myself being the one to adjust my own tone and if she senses the tone is still not genuine in her feelings she will say 'nope'. I try to change my mood to be more happy and cheerful and playful sometimes and then she might feel better and do as told, and then i try to talk to her about the importance of listening and such, but many times I do feel like I'm being manipulated. She really is a sweet girl who needs a lot of hugs and kisses and such but I really don't know how to handle her demands and behaviours a lot of the times. I know at school she is also having a hard time with friends. I have seen her at recess and she doesn't bond with most of the kids, at least she tells me they don't want to play with her, it breaks my heart. Other girls play in a group and she seems excluded or by herself looking down playing individually most of the times, she then tries to get involved with playing with others but the kids seem to brush her off. Today she came from school very sad and I asked her whats wrong and she said her only friend does not want to play with her anymore for certain reasons. So I don't know what is going on with my LO. anyone have a bossy child? can anyone offer any advice with my situation? TIA!

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    Maybe reading some storybooks about bossy kids? There's one that pops to mind, Franklin Is Bossy or something like that, that is pretty good.
    The manipulating about your voice etc I find really odd, to be honest. That would drive me nuts. I wonder if ther'es something more to her behaviour, like
    I've heard people refer to Oppositional Defiance Disorder but never googled it...wonder if it is something like that, something to do with not being the one
    in control, or something against authority?
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
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  3. #3
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    Man sounds just like my almost 6 yr old. She is the oldest of 3 and is very anal about everything going her way. Even at school she won't play with her friends if they don't want to play her game. And she always needs to be the mommy when she plays house. She is also so loving and an amazing big sister. She will "babysit" her 1 yr old sister in her room for an hour before dinner and carries her everywhere. We are working on her being more selfless. We talk about situations and how she can change the outcome.

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    it sounds like a first child big sister thing! lol.... but I think explaining why being bossy is not a good moral character to have would really help. Give her examples.. try to get to the heart of the issue to correct this attitude in her.. sounds like perhaps others don't want to play with her because she is being bossy... maybe try explaining this to her nicely as well. Kids (especially girls) can be sensitive about these things but it should be dealt with to avoid other issues down the road... relationship wise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smelltheroses View Post
    it sounds like a first child big sister thing! lol.... but I think explaining why being bossy is not a good moral character to have would really help. Give her examples.. try to get to the heart of the issue to correct this attitude in her.. sounds like perhaps others don't want to play with her because she is being bossy... maybe try explaining this to her nicely as well. Kids (especially girls) can be sensitive about these things but it should be dealt with to avoid other issues down the road... relationship wise.
    My oldest (a daughter) is similar as well. For us, we got crafty. We can play the same games as her. We don't respond to threats. Having a child who is "bossy" at some point will benefit them later in life. I would do what I can to embrace the leadership skills

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