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Thread: My teen and her job

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    Default My teen and her job

    My daughter got a job at a fast food restaurant, she is now 17. The job is about a 15 min drive from home. She refuses to apply at the same restaurant a 5 min walk from our house because it is apparently poorly run. Only problem is she expects us to drive her to work and pick her up. Some times she works until midnight other shifts start at 7am so on the weekend when we finally get to sleep in we have to get up and drive her. Which of course are the days our 2yr old sleeps in. So anyways my question is, am I a horrible person for saying she is responsible for getting herself to and from work. I don't want to drive her anymore and neither does my husband. I am usually in bed before 11 so picking her up is hard for me. And then I give her money for a cab but I can't afford to keep doing that. In my opinion at 17 almost 18 you should be able to get yourself to and from your job. Am I being the meanest mom in the world?
    Last edited by planejane; 08-09-2015 at 09:30 AM.

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    No, not at all.
    If you lived where there were no options for her to work within walking or biking distance, I could see that maybe you would have to bend a bit more on it.
    There's no reason she can't work the closer one, though, so this is her choice and she has to figure out how to make it work. Maybe if it's the really late shifts,
    she could take a cab home. But that shouldn't come out of your pocket, as it isn't your job!
    She could carpool, or transfer, or find a new job entirely.

    I think it's reasonable.
    Keep in mind, many kids are graduating high school at 17, most by 18, and that means you're either on to post secondary (living on your own, quite possibly )or
    ready for a full time job and the possibility of moving out on your own. You have to learn to fend for yourself before it's 100% on your own, I think.
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    Can you let her use your car?

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    She doesn't have her license yet. It is her responsibility to save her money to take the test. Of she did yes she would most often be able to use my car.

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    If the buses run on time to get her to work, I would definitely be expecting her to get herself to and from work. If they don't, then she can bus, or bike or walk one direction and cab (or carpool) the other direction. At her age I always got myself to work and back, even if it meant walking 30 minutes to get there.
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    There has got to be some sort of compromise. I know it sucks to get her at midnight or take her at 7am, but how often is that? I guess I was lucky if I had had early or late shifts my parents drove me, any other time I took the bus.

    Can you agree to only do one way? If she has been at the same location either same people for a while I understand she would be hesitant to change. You know your child best and your situation, think it all through and decide.
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    I worked at Tims as a teen. My parents would occasionally lend me the car, or I would walk, or I would get a ride, and pretty often I would cab it home (especially after working overnights). My tips were enough generally to cover my cab fare. That being said it was only 2.5km from home so I at least has some options.

    Any chance she can bum a ride off a coworker? I often gave folks rides home.
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    honestly she can take a bus or cab. I dont see why you should have to compromise becasue she chooses to work at a location that is further away.
    she could even bike it there are nicer days to save money

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    I lived in the country and drove myself to work at that age, but I guess the driving situation will have to wait until she takes the test. She could likely see if any of her co-workers could drive her and maybe offer gas money? There have to be other options, although I worked in restaurants and I know the buses suck for early and late shifts. At that age though I think she would be able to pay for a cab.
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    Are you in London? Cabs are really not that bad in London. Call Checker and compare that to a usual cab fare with the metred companies, as sometimes Checker is
    less because they charge by zone not by metres. I use Checker most of the time because there's so much construction going on in London right now, so it is less
    nerve wracking if I know the amount of the bill won't change no matter how long we're stuck in traffic.
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    Do you have the option of a bus? If so, then I would be having her take one. My son is 12 and I have already mentioned to him that we will have to try out taking the bus a couple places and paying and things so he can do that for jobs or volunteer work in high school, and the stop is right out front of our house. I have never really taken a bus, so we both have to learn, but I think it is great. My town now has a bus stop that is about a 15 minute walk from my parents and comes every hour (i think) - and we would have easily walked 15 minutes to take a bus and be able to go to the mall or jobs without our parents

    Growing up my parents drove me to work during 9am-10pm, and they also drove my sister to work during the hours she worked at Tim's, which could have been anytime. We didn't have bussing in my town so either my parents had to drive or we had to borrow the car, but my parents would rather drive than be without a car for hours. A cab into the city and then back home would have been more than a 4hour shift of pay!!!

    Is she saving to take her G2, so once she passes she can take your car? Since you are either paying for a cab or feeling inconvenienced why not just pay for the test?

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    At 17 she can take the bus - that said, I would just be happy if my 17-year-old actually found a job, and I would happily drive him until September (when he can finally go for his G2).
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    Remind her what you were responsible for at that age I think it is completely reasonable to expect her to either transfer to the closer one or find her own transportation 90% of the time. Remember if she was my child she would have no choice as I take the bus or cab to work. I don't think you are being mean at all. With that said I would on occasion offer to pick her up.
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    For the past two years I dropped off and picked up my son to work. He just turned 20. He now uses my vehicle to drive himself to and fro, as he just got his G2. But he paid me gas money every week.

    My 18 year old doesn't want to pay for gas, so he rides his bike back and forth to his job.
    Last edited by hockeymomof3; 08-11-2015 at 08:10 PM.
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    No, you are not being mean. Taking the bus or biking/walk to work is reasonable and teaching independence. You are not a taxi.
    planejane likes this.
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