Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20
Like Tree1Likes

Thread: What's normal, for siblings and parties?

  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ingalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    london
    Posts
    22,762
    Rep Power
    1242

    Default What's normal, for siblings and parties?

    I find it hard to invite certain kids to parties because I feel badly not inviting their siblings. Sometimes it is ok but when you
    get bigger sibling sets, it's hard! that's a lot of different ages and supplies for those kids.
    So what is normal?
    I'm always worried I will upset the kid/s, parents, or gve the parents tantruming kids to deal with because the other kid gets to
    go and there are kid/s left out who are sad.
    But it gets a bit ridiculous after a while - I mean, dd has a friend who has a sister dd2's age, so I don't mind that as I'm friends with
    their mom. But then there's the fact ds wants to invite a friend to dd's party: well, dd plays with the friend's brother, so she suggested
    we invite him, too, but that leaves the third child out so I suppose I should invite him, right.
    And so on, and so forth

    So how do you figure it out? Do you give your kid a set number of kids to invite, and do siblings count?
    Do you figure it's up to the parents to deal with the upset children who are left out?
    Or do you just suck it up and invite the whole family and deal with it?

    I don't want to be too cheap, or mean, or offend anyone. But I also find every single year the #'s grow lol and it's getting a bit
    nuts.
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
    "I will remember you." July/10
    Baby Elaina born October 28th, 2011. Making every single day that much more special.
    INTERESTED IN BUYING DVDS OF OLD KIDS' SHOWS. Mr.Rogers', Mr.Dressup, Polka Dot Door, etc

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    SouthEast London
    Posts
    154
    Rep Power
    12

    Default

    I think you just need to invite all the kids and if the mom knows that the older one wouldn't really want to be there then she will not bring that kid.
    I have "not" invited people before because I thought they wouldnt want to come and instead they got upset with me. Here I was thinking I was doing them a favor.

    Also just make sure you ask for a RSVP on the number of kids so you can be prepared
    Good luck

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    London.
    Posts
    7,898
    Rep Power
    503

    Default

    if they are family friends and the party is at our house all the kids are invited parents too and we hang out after the school kids leave, school kids just the invited kid, i have no idea who or what they have for siblings.

    at the playgrounds when we do a party normally it goes by age group.

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    SouthEast London
    Posts
    154
    Rep Power
    12

    Default

    sorry PP just reminded me of school kids..... We are not in school yet so I was just talking about family/friends

  5. #5
    Expert Forum User

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    9,755
    Rep Power
    732

    Default

    I'm thinking that if you are inviting JUST the kids your birthday kids age, then no, siblings wouldn't be included.

    I would make the exception for kids your birthday child regularly interacts with (like a close aged sibling) - especially if they are the same age as one of your other siblings.
    I also don't think you can invite 3 kids from one family and leave the 4th out unless the 4th child is significantly older or younger - KWIM?

    My DS#3 is friends with this kid who has 3 younger siblings - both DS#3 and DS#2 were invited to their DS#2's party despite the fact that he is 2 years younger than my DS#3 and 3 1/2 years younger than my DS#2 - but when these kids are at our house, they all play together so it didn't seem weird to me.

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    London, ON
    Posts
    5,492
    Rep Power
    334

    Default

    I have never invited siblings to parties, especially as they get older. I address the invite to his specific friend.

    When I invite people that I know, then I invite the family or the mom. If I invite my friends then they know they can bring all their kids, or they may choose to leave a baby at home or which they want to bring.

  7. #7
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ingalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    london
    Posts
    22,762
    Rep Power
    1242

    Default

    See ds had a party last fall with just school friends, which was so simple because it was not at our house and dh just took ds and a few friends for
    lasertag. He was turning 11 and it worked out great.
    But when you have the party at your house, it seems so much more complicated lol. BUT dh books holidays around the youngest and oldest's birthdays
    so I can book parties where I want to. For middle kid, I'm on my own, as it's by the May 24 weekend and he can't score those days. So it's at the
    house, and I end up with 20ish kids!

    DD suggested doing two parties, one for just the school friends, one for the family friends. But....that gets complicated too because some of
    her school friends are also kids of my friends, and their sblings friends with her siblings, etc So it doesn't solve much!

    I'm glad to know though that I'm not alone in inviting siblings. I felt like maybe I was going overboard.
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
    "I will remember you." July/10
    Baby Elaina born October 28th, 2011. Making every single day that much more special.
    INTERESTED IN BUYING DVDS OF OLD KIDS' SHOWS. Mr.Rogers', Mr.Dressup, Polka Dot Door, etc

  8. #8
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    sittingpretty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    12,510
    Rep Power
    1090

    Default

    my mom must have been mean or something (well she was but thats another story) anyways no at our birthdays we got our friends and our friends only. It was one day we were not expected to tolerate others becasue they were someone elses friends or someones siblings.

    I would hope parents would understand that

  9. #9
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    London, ON
    Posts
    1,565
    Rep Power
    167

    Default

    I only invite the child my daughter's age. We have really close friend's and I invite the youngest to the party but when we have family dinner after the party we invite the whole family. Even a close friend of ours sent out an invite for her son's birthday at the Little Gym and I messaged her to ask if it was just for my oldest or the 2 yr old too. I told her I was completely fine with it just being my oldest that went, but she said no she wanted both to come.

  10. #10
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ingalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    london
    Posts
    22,762
    Rep Power
    1242

    Default

    Sittingpretty when I was a kid our parties were that way, too,but they were also very different than my own kids' parties. Because back then, parents never
    stayed at a party, it was drop off and pick up. Nowadays, you never know if a parent is going to stay or go, so you have to factor that in, too.
    And then also since we have cousins and family friends at parties, which we never did when I was a kid, you already have a mix of kids ages and adults,
    so it is kinda harder to be like no, I actually meant for you to drop your kid off, disregard the other adults, they're relatives....oh and the other little kids,
    they're cousins, or people we consider family....but hey no offence, k? lol

    That's why it is easier if it's a venue because people seem to understand it is drop off and pick up.
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
    "I will remember you." July/10
    Baby Elaina born October 28th, 2011. Making every single day that much more special.
    INTERESTED IN BUYING DVDS OF OLD KIDS' SHOWS. Mr.Rogers', Mr.Dressup, Polka Dot Door, etc

  11. #11
    Expert Forum User
    Sunrise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    6,282
    Rep Power
    495

    Default

    I invite them all.
    Married 2005. DD1 2007. DD2 2011. Beta Sigma Phi 2013.
    ... and one cute little kitty!


  12. #12
    Expert Forum User

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    8,294
    Rep Power
    446

    Default

    My oldest daughter was recently invited to a party where they birthday child could only invite 7 friends. It was a company that came into the home - spa party so the numbers had to be limited. Both of my kids are friends with the birthday girl but my youngest wasn't invited because numbers for the party were so low. She was upset but that is life. There is no obligation to invite both of my kids to all events just because they are close in age and the same gender. I arranged for a play date for my youngest kid that happened at the same time as the birthday party. All was right with the world in my house. I don't think you are obligated to invite siblings.

  13. #13
    Moderator The Ultimate London Mom!
    one ordinary girl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    this side of crazy
    Posts
    29,176
    Rep Power
    1839

    Default

    I don't think you are obligated to invite siblings either. I usually set a limit. Like 8 max for at the house and that includes her. If the party is outside the house then it depends on where/what and minimum numbers expected by the venue. This is when we are having a school friends party. If we are having a family/close friends then we invite the whole family. I've never felt pressured to invite a sibling of a friend even when they all play together at said friends house. I know that it happens with one of dd's friends whose sibling is only a year older. I know when she plays there sometimes all 3 play together.

    I also don't invite someone just because she went to that girls party. DD has lots of friends some that she is glued to the hip with and others that she plays with mostly at school and hardly/never outside of school. I don't feel like she needs to include those friends. I've also never invited the whole class of girls to a party where I know others have. I just don't think its necessary.

    you need to do what you feel is best for your family and what works the best
    Your life is a result of the choices you make, if you don't like your life it's time to start making better choices.

  14. #14
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    sittingpretty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    12,510
    Rep Power
    1090

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ingalls View Post
    Sittingpretty when I was a kid our parties were that way, too,but they were also very different than my own kids' parties. Because back then, parents never
    stayed at a party, it was drop off and pick up. Nowadays, you never know if a parent is going to stay or go, so you have to factor that in, too.
    And then also since we have cousins and family friends at parties, which we never did when I was a kid, you already have a mix of kids ages and adults,
    so it is kinda harder to be like no, I actually meant for you to drop your kid off, disregard the other adults, they're relatives....oh and the other little kids,
    they're cousins, or people we consider family....but hey no offence, k? lol

    That's why it is easier if it's a venue because people seem to understand it is drop off and pick up.
    oh offence not taken what you say makes total sense and i forgot people did cousins etc my parties as a kid included my aunt, nanny and 2 friends at my house thats it.

  15. #15
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ingalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    london
    Posts
    22,762
    Rep Power
    1242

    Default

    dude you had a NANNY?!

    Yeah I include relatives because otherwise we don't really see the cousins. We're just not 'come on over for a random visit' type family,
    because everyone has their own stuff going on. (My sister and her kids, sure, but not the others). So for birthdays or such I try to invite
    the 8 kids that are w/in reasonable range of my kids, or is it nine, and of course their parents are likely to stay because we're family.
    DD1 age 7 DS age 11
    "I will remember you." July/10
    Baby Elaina born October 28th, 2011. Making every single day that much more special.
    INTERESTED IN BUYING DVDS OF OLD KIDS' SHOWS. Mr.Rogers', Mr.Dressup, Polka Dot Door, etc

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Siblings going to birthday parties
    By Kaisa in forum General Support/Advice about the Kids!
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-03-2010, 01:48 AM
  2. Does your new LO look like his/her siblings?
    By Mommy2Cuties in forum Newborns - The First Year
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 09-28-2009, 12:23 PM
  3. Siblings are not dolls
    By Ivveyy in forum Fab 4's and Free 5's
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-06-2009, 10:45 PM
  4. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-11-2009, 04:21 PM
  5. 'no siblings please'
    By sardam in forum General Support/Advice about the Kids!
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-08-2009, 08:25 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •