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Thread: Momma time

  1. #1
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    Default Momma time

    Ladies, a question....
    What does everyone do for their self care? Me time? Time away from the baby?

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    My monkeys are a bit older now so it is easier, but once a month I got together with a group of moms for a Mom's night out. We would sometimes just meet at a coffee shop, or sometimes it would just be someone's house and we would do a cookie exchange while we were there and just enjoy some conversation. The key to making sure I actually got out was planning it with other Mom's otherwise I was too tired or had too much stuff around the house I should be doing, but this way I was accountable and the other Moms I was with felt the same way. When we had really little ones we would bring the baby and do a stroller walk or whatever too.

  3. #3
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    Away? From? Baby...?
    LaLa, tif52 and CMR78 like this.

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    I signed up for fitness classes, like not a full gym membership b/c I didn't know how often I'd get there at first, but something that held me accountable after paying. I also went to get my hair done (very rarely like 2-3 times a year) or to the spa for a facial (again not often, but when I had the time/money/need). Getting together with my sisters (they didn't have kids at the time) or 1 or 2 close friends without the kids was also a great stress reliever. My DH is awesome though with helping around the house and with the kids. I can basically say "I'm going to ----- tonight and I'll be home in an hr or two" and he's fine with it. After DD2 I also started volunteering more in my community which is great for meeting people and getting out of the house.
    Please LMs, I want to read that you are doing *something* for yourselves! I understand that sometimes it's hard with your SO's shifts/work/single moms (I'm not even going to imagine what that's like as I have no idea) etc. to plan things but I really can't stand the martyr aspect of ohhhh I never go out (out of guilt not logistical issues)...not focusing on anyone and I know I could get flamed for this, I just think that there must be some small amount of time (even grocery shopping) to pop out of the house by yourself and not be mauled for a few minutes.
    sardam and corazenia like this.

    Hailey - April 2008
    Scarlett - April 2012
    Troy - July 2014
    *Currently enrolled in the Perinatal Support Practitioner program through Babies Naturally and looking to attend births as a student doula. Please message me for details!*

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    I totally agree @springchicks which is why I ask.
    Before my little guy was born I was always busy with life, work and volunteering.
    I am just trying to find the balence to do some of what I was doing before while still caring for the baby.
    I want to do it all, and I know I can't. I struggle with it.

    Sent from my SGH-I317M using Tapatalk
    SpringChicks likes this.

  6. #6
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    I exercise. Usually they are home but it's still for me, and still me time. This week I ran 3 days, 3 miles each, I did weights 3 days and I did the trampoline a few times and hot yoga one time. I actually like being with my kids a lot. I don't really feel the need to have time away from them. I can relax and have fun with them. I take off week-ends usually for exercise unless we do something active and we all hang out as a family on the week-ends. Sometimes my sisters and I swap kids for sleep overs so we can have a quiet night with just our husbands. I feel like we have a balance that works for us.

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    I also do coffee with my sisters or other moms with kids the same age.
    Last edited by my2babies; 06-20-2014 at 10:16 PM.

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    Spend 5 extra minutes in the bathroom than I need to. Not every time, but sometimes. I'll play a round of Candy Crush or something in that 5 minutes. In all seriousness I don't have a reliable sitter for my LO's therefore I don't go anywhere. Just having a friend over once in a while is a great relief (someone to talk to).
    tif52 likes this.

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    I am one of those that doesn't get real time away. I was trying to get a break with grocery shopping, but the 2 times I tried this DS2's dad would text about all the issues and DS2 flushed a plastic bag down the toilet (2 overflows that week and a flood a couple weeks later - 2 inches in my hallway and down into basement!). Then I have to hear for the rest of the week how I owe him for having had him watch DS2. I do get groceries alone, I leave work and run through the grocery store before getting him from daycare.
    I wish I had friends in London or had more time to get to my parents. My parents come to visit for a weekend every 2-3 months, so we go out for dinner and they chase DS2 around the restaurant so I can eat One of my bff's drives past London on her way home about every 6 months, while I am not working, so we go out for coffee. I used to sit with my neighbour and have coffee about once a week, but she just moved out of Province.

    I can't hire a sitter as DS2's dad doesn't want someone in the house while he is home or sleeping.
    I do wash my hair and shave once a week in the evening and then dry it so it looks nice and straight for the week, after DS2 is in bed

    DS2 goes to bed at 8pm and falls asleep/stays in bed between 9 and 10pm - so I get to watch tv shows or movies by myself or with DS1 I try to only do cleaning/lunches on the commercials. Then I go to bed around 11pm and read till midnight, then wake up before 7 and do it all again
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    My daughter isnt a reliable sleeper. I'm no leaving her with someone if I think she might wake and freak out.
    Sometimes after shes gone to bed i'll take the dogs for a run or tink around the house if my hubby isnt working. Sometimes I paint. I like dd around. If we go anywhere I want her to come too!
    LaLa likes this.

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    My girls are older now - 11 & 18 - so momma time and self-care is easy to do, or at least I find it is. I don't need to find a babysitter, and they also need their own self-care/time alone. Just as I need to take care of myself, I am role-modelling it and allowing them time for themselves. For me, it's about balancing work, life and family.

    My momma time/self-care looks like:
    - taking classes, self-directed learning, self improvement
    - quiet mindless stuff like reading, watching a favourite tv show, knitting, listening to music, meditating
    - a cup of tea
    - physical activity including biking, hiking, running, yoga, zumba, soccer (4-5 times/week)
    - surrounding myself with healthy relationships and people who inspire me
    - weekly volunteering
    - writing and photography (journalling/blogging)
    - keeping my expectations realistic and practicing gratitude
    - simplifying our day-to-day lives and being more intentional, setting limits
    - lots of dreaming
    - sleeping
    - telling myself what I need to hear (I channel my inner Stuart Smalley - I'm good enough, I'm smart enough. Gosh darn it, people like me.)

    I feel obligated (which in itself is ridiculous!) to say that I love spending time with my girls. I work full-time, and they're in school all day, so having time with my girls is important to me. I always "joke" that I would strap my littlest on my back and take her everywhere I go if I could. Self care has nothing to do with not wanting to be around our children 24-7. It's about balance and taking care of our well-being and personal health - be it physical, spiritual, mental, etc. A good part of my self-care activities can be done with my girls in the same room. Other times, it's about going to the market super early on a Saturday morning to meet up with friends while they sleep in. It's taking care of myself so that I can take better care of my family . . . forever.
    LaLa, Findabhair, tif52 and 2 others like this.
    My musings about my children, my crafts and everything and anything else can be found on my blog.

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    I actually like my kids too although my post probably sounds like I don't, lol. I work f/t (plus p/t waitressing on weekends sept. - apr.) and also go to monthly meetings for school council, community association, book club, etc. I like having interests/hobbies. I've always been pretty independent though and need some me time or time to do extra stuff that I hope is helping my kids, neighbours, community in some small way. My mom thinks I do too much but she was a stay at home mom and I guess growing up seeing her unhappy at times and having no outlet for things for herself made me want to parent a bit differently. I love love mat leave and am looking forward to tons of baby time and extra time with the girls. There...obligation to say I love my kids fulfilled, lol.
    corazenia and tif52 like this.

    Hailey - April 2008
    Scarlett - April 2012
    Troy - July 2014
    *Currently enrolled in the Perinatal Support Practitioner program through Babies Naturally and looking to attend births as a student doula. Please message me for details!*

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    Currently, the only time I am out of arms reach of my baby is when I'm at the dentist. Not a fun way to spend "me" time.
    tif52 likes this.





    04/05/12 & 28/09/12 - Mama loves you, Babies.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by melissawilliam View Post
    I am one of those that doesn't get real time away. I was trying to get a break with grocery shopping, but the 2 times I tried this DS2's dad would text about all the issues and DS2 flushed a plastic bag down the toilet (2 overflows that week and a flood a couple weeks later - 2 inches in my hallway and down into basement!). Then I have to hear for the rest of the week how I owe him for having had him watch DS2.

    ......

    I can't hire a sitter as DS2's dad doesn't want someone in the house while he is home or sleeping.
    I'm just gonna say it - this pisses me off.
    Men are parents too - fathers we call them - they have as much obligation to the children and watching them as we do.
    It's not babysitting or looking after - it's parenting and if someone "owes" anybody it's the other way around for sure.

    My DH got annoyed once becasue I was an hour and a half grocery shopping (which is not "me" time IMO) when our DS was small. The next time I turned off my phone and took 2 hours.... this is something that needs to be done for the household, for crying out loud.
    Men are just as capable of watching our LO's as we are - Mom's need to start putting this responsibility on these Fathers to step up and be a caregiver - it's not the 1950's.

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