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Thread: So much loss, so hard to deal with

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    Default So much loss, so hard to deal with

    I'm having a difficult time coping with so much loss right now.

    A colleague lost his life in a snowmobile accident last weekend and though we weren't particularly close it's really kind of hit me. My 4 younger children's paternal grandfather has cancer and is being treated and just recently we learned that my oldest son's paternal grandfather is terminally ill with no clear expected timeline. We do know that he won't leave the hospital though. It's heartbreaking to see the family suffer as they come to terms with this loss and it makes me cry just thinking about it. This man is so kind and caring and has touched the lives of so many people. It's just not fair. I've lost both my parents, to cancer and alcoholism so I don't cope well with death. I lost another colleague not long ago and I'm dealing with a less than cordial divorce myself. My children have lost the father they once had and that breaks my heart for them too. I feel so helpless right now.

    I don't know how to help those around me and at the same time I don't know how to keep myself together. It's overwhelming at times.

    Ugh, sorry I just needed to vent a little I guess or say it out loud. I hope that once we make it through all this things will be calm and happy again. How do you get through tough times like this? Grin and bear it?
    Leslie




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    Im sorry to hear you are suffering so many losses.
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    I have no advice either but am sorry you are dealing with so much . My thoughts are with you and your children
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    I'm so sorry to hear you and your family are suffering so many losses. Have you thought of finding a grief counselor to help you and your children cope through this time.
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    Perhaps inquire at the hospital if they have any counsellors to help with grief, or can refer you anywhere? I'm sorry you're going through so much.
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    Hugs Leslie, I'm sorry for your loss.

    I recently lost a childhood family friend. I haven't seen him in ages but it really hit me. He was a huge part of my life while I was growing up. It brought memories from that time flooding back which many of them included my dad. 12 yrs later I'm still struggling with his loss. It's easier but still feels so fresh. It just reminds me how important it is to live life to the fullest and not take a single moment for granted.

    A childhood friend of my husbands just lost his dad to cancer last week. He'd only known for 9 days that he was sick. It struck him suddenly. Seeing him struggling with acceptance was hard. i can see how hard it hits my husband as he realizes how lucky he is, as his dad had cancer and beat it. But it could have just as easily gone the other way.

    my only advice it to talk about it. Spend as much time ( or have your children) spend as much time with those people as you/they can. Share stories and memories. And remind those around you how much you love them.

    Hugs xoxo
    Last edited by one ordinary girl; 02-07-2014 at 10:09 AM.
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    Sorry you're going through so much. I don't cope well when lots of emotional things pull me in different directions.

    Do you have an EAP through work? They should be able to put you in touch with counsellors that can help both you and your kids.
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    Thanks everyone. I'm sure I'll be fine but when it all hits you at once it's a lot to deal with and every little thing compounds and makes all the other seemingly little things feel worse.

    I just need to get through the next week or so and things will hopefully start to calm down. I'm usually pretty good at dealing with stuff like this so I feel awful for letting it all get to me.

    Thanks for the support. I'm sorry I haven't been around much to support all of you lately. I keep hoping things will changed but so far it's only gotten worse! Looking forward to turning that corner soon.
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    Leslie




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    I'm sorry to here you are experiencing these losses. I would definitely recommend talking with a grief counselor
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    You don't worry about us lady - you worry about you! No need for apologies! I am so sorry you have been dealin with so much. I think that a group hug and some wine (for you) and chocolate is in order! Just keep talking - it will help! And know you have all of us hear to listen xo
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    That is a heavy load to deal with all at once. Thinking about you and your children....HUGS
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    Let it get to you! Don't grin and bear it, it just builds up and eventually you can't cope. Counsellor? Journal? Friends? There are grief groups in London.
    Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

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    I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this, my heart aches for you and your family. Don't grin and bear it all the time, you need to let it out, you need to be able to have your real, true reactions and emotions. Being strong for your children is important, but you also need to let them see that it is ok to be sad, and it is ok to be scared and that working through all of these emotions is hard.

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    I am so sorry you have to deal with so much. Surround yourself with people that will offer a shoulder to lean on if needed and take one day at a time

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    HUGS Leslie.....Unfortunately, right now I know exactly what you are dealing with!! xoxo

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