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  1. #1
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    Default TTC after a loss

    For anyone who has experienced a stillbirth, how long after your loss were you pregnant again and was it a healthy pregnancy? I'm TTC after a loss in May and I'm scared to death it's going to happen again.

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    I am so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced a stillbirth but I had two miscarriages last year. I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant and my anxiety during this pregnancy has been terrible. I'm usually a really laid back person and I've been on edge and very worried through this whole pregnancy. I'm constantly thinking the worst and I've even gotten a fetal doppler to ease some of the anxiety I've been feeling between u/s and midwife appointments. Good luck to you in TTC.
    Jodie
    Mom to 3 boys (9, 7 and 4) &
    our little girl (born Dec 2013)
    www.brightmindschildcare.ca
    www.jodie.lovablelabels.ca

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    So sorry for your loss. *Hugs*


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    I think of you so often! Very shortly after your lost your baby boy, my next door neighbour and very close friend also lost her baby. Her baby was almost the exact same age as your's.

    I do not have any advice but I think you need to question your doctors as to *why* it happened and if it can happen again, what can be done to prevent it. In the case of my friend, I truly believe that had her OB (an incompetent poor excuse of a dr. if you ask me, not in London) put her on bedrest two weeks previous, that the outcome would not have been the same.

    I will add to my prayers for you that you can easily get pregnant again and soon be holding your next precious baby in your arms! Hugs!!!
    Last edited by doda94; 07-15-2013 at 06:01 AM. Reason: language

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    Has anyone (OB, GP, Midwife) given you any suggestions on when to TTC again? I know it's a big different with a late term loss then it would be with a first trimester loss.

    I have no experience, but wish you the best of luck.

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    I've never been through a stillbirth, but had 2 m/c last year. I was terrified when I got my BFP each time. This pregnancy has been marked by several milestones, and each one I pass makes this pregnancy easier to get through. I think feeling constand movements reassures me that things are going as well as can be expected at this point. Let me tell you though, approaching the points at which I lost my previous pregnancies were the hardest to get through. Second guessing was the hardest thing. Thankfully, my MW has been beyond understanding and has offered me reassurances throughout.

    I don't have magic words to offer you to make it feel better or easier to contemplate. It is scary to even think about becoming pregnant when you have been through a loss at any point in a pregnancy. Take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to reach out to your support system to talk about what you are feeling.





    04/05/12 & 28/09/12 - Mama loves you, Babies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodie View Post
    I am so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced a stillbirth but I had two miscarriages last year. I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant and my anxiety during this pregnancy has been terrible. I'm usually a really laid back person and I've been on edge and very worried through this whole pregnancy. I'm constantly thinking the worst and I've even gotten a fetal doppler to ease some of the anxiety I've been feeling between u/s and midwife appointments. Good luck to you in TTC.
    This was very true for me after throughout my pg after my loss, as well. To the point that the first words out of my mouth after she was born was, "Is she ok? Are you SURE she's ok?" It didn't matter how many US had said that she was perfectly fine, nothing reassured me. It was almost too good to true and I was waiting for the horrible news to come at any point. Like CMR has just said, pregnancy loss at any point changes your view of any future pregnancies sadly.

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    As others had said late loss does make things a little different as you have given birth. So physically it's different and emotionally too. I'm not discounting anything though, just saying as I've experienced both. SW2010, you already know what I think, so all I will say here is good luck and you have my very best thoughts!
    Cole is 8 years old! January, 2005
    Nate is 5 years old! January, 2008
    Judah is 2 years old! October, 2010
    Avery Grace born & passed Feb 4, 2007.

    "Why did I not know that birth is the pinnacle where women discover the courage to become mothers?"
    Anita Diamant (The Red Tent)

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    Thank you ladies, the OB recommends with this type of loss and based on when it happened that we wait 3 months to "actively" try, but said it's not uncommon or unsafe to become pregnant prior to the 3 months. I know it'll happen when it's suppose to it's just hard being in this spot again (trying to get pregnant), I never thought I'd be here again.

  10. #10
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    Hugs. Do what feels right for you.

  11. #11
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    After my son I had a miscarriage it took me a few months to feel ready to try again and really a year before I feel like I finally grieved it to be emotional be okay with it. We stopped trying for a little while and then when we did finally get pregnant again we gave birth to a lovely little girl. My friend lost 4 children in a very small time before finally giving birth to a beautiful girl. Miscarriage is horrible in that there is never a concrete reason why it happens you just have to try and heal on your own terms and try again when it's right on your own terms (easier advice to give then to take I know). Sorry to hear you have gone through what you have. It's a difficult time with many ups and downs.

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