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Thread: need to vent

  1. #1
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    Default need to vent

    Ok so I started the home daycare thing and my Oldest daughter has been really acting up. She keeps hitting, pushing, kicking and screaming at the little girl im caring for. Alot of the time its just random, she walks up to her and hits her on the head for no reason.
    I know its normal and she needs to adjust to another child being here but im getting frustrated with her now. Not only is she hurting the little girl but shes been acting up in other ways. Shes taking her crayons and coloring all over furnature and the walls. She went into the bathroom when dh and I wernt looking and painted the sink and handtowel pink.
    Im trying to make sure I don't pay attention to one child more then the other and so far Ivy is getting the most attention.

    Time outs don't seem to help, Ive had talks with her and I try and seperate them if things get out of hand. I guess im more frustrated because Ivy has never been the type to try and cause harm to others. Shes usually very well behaved and caring and when things like this happen I wonder if I am doing something wrong.
    Well anyways I know this is just something that will eventually pass.
    Thanks for listening.
    April - Mommy to Ivy, Sophia & Ryker


  2. #2
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    Although this other little one you are looking after is not Ivy's sister per se, it sounds a lot like sibling rivalry to me. My eldest son started to do things like that after my youngest son was born. Evan (my eldest) wouldn't speak to my husband and I for a week after he was born! Wouldn't evne open his mouth! Once Jayden (my youngest) got a bit older and to the playing stage, Evan started getting rough with him. I still go through this here on a daily basis with the 2 of them and Evan is 4 3/4 old and Jayden almost 2 years old. Your daughter is seeing this other little girl come into your (her) home and play with her toys and that upsets her. Is your daughter an only child? If so, this is likely also another reason for her behaviour. She's not used to having another child around.
    Hopefully this behaviour with pass over the next while. She probably just needs time to get used to the idea of having another child come into her home 5 days a week, play with her toys, take up some of your attention (instead of all of it being centered on her and only her). There is some jealousy there on her part but I wouldn't let it stop you from continuing on with running your home daycare. The longer the little girl keep coming and any other children you end up caring for throughout the week, the more used to the idea your daughter will be and she will have peace of mind knowing these other children go home at the end of the day at least.
    Hang in there. I think things will get better with time. Just give it more time and she should settle. It is possible she may be a bit like my oldest son and have a tough time sharing her own toys with another child (lord knows my oldest thinks all of the toys in here are his and my youngest son shouldn't touch any of them!). My son hasn't gone to school yet and maybe this is the reason, just as it could be for your daughter? She isn't used to having other children around....she will get used to it soon enough with you running a home daycare though.
    Good luck!

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    Ivy used to be in daycare full time, has a younger sister who she adores and has had no jeliousy problems with and my 3 year old neice comes over often so shes fairly used to sharing. She doesnt even like the little girl touching her sisters toys. shes turned into some violent over protective kid in the past week and its a bit of a shock. I hope this improves soon. she starts a fight every 5 minutes which is frustrating.
    April - Mommy to Ivy, Sophia & Ryker


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    Hi again:
    Duh! I forgot you have 2 girls of your own! sorry my mistake! I just got typing away without realizing it! I am not sure what to tell you then if she has been in daycare in the past and also has her cousin over often. I think perhaps this child is coming into HER home could be what feels threatening to her perhaps? Maybe she thinks in her own mind and cannot really explain it that you are going to 'keep' this other little girl? She may not fully understand the concept of this yet...it is also change with you starting up this daycare our of your home and she needs to still get used to that idea. Lots of kids don't do so well with change (my oldest is a prime example of this). Sorry you're going through this, don't know what else to say except keep dealing with it as it comes up each and every time. Hopefully she'll eventually get the point that it's unnacceptable to hit, to push, etc. Give it more time for things to settle. How long hav eyou been running the daycare?

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    lol thanks, This is the second week since ive started so its still very new to us and I plan on taking in another kid mid summer after my trip back to london. I may hold off on taking in any more kids if Ivy keeps behaving this way tho. Today has been pretty bad so far so Im probably going to send Ivy to play on her computer in her room for a while. Ive taken away her crayons and paints for now so she doesnt have many activities left for a little while. Hopefully her having her own space to escape to will help.
    April - Mommy to Ivy, Sophia & Ryker


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    When my own children were included in the 'daycare' for the day (it is so much easier when they are in school!), I found when I established "daycare toys" - for sharing and "your toys" - kept in your room for you only (and let them have 'private time' with those toys in their room if the daycare kids are there), to be shared only if they want to. If the toy can not be shared, back in their room it goes. Otherwise, everything in their house is being used by 'others' and they have no control over that. Even at a young age it must be frustrating (and confusing). Hope this helps. If she is into 'stars / stickers', you can make up a chart for her and when all the kids go home, they she can place a sticker on the chart if she has had a 'sharing day' and after so many stars (weekly?) she gets a reward. Been there... and as I said, its so much easier when they are in school!

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