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  1. #1
    Junior Member mickeychick's Avatar
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    Default dealing with loss..

    it's been almost 4 weeks since my husband walked out on our daughter and I.

    Even with all the lies and the cheating, I miss him so much. I want the hurt to go away. Please tell me things get better and I will get past this - my daughter is 4, and misses her daddy terribly. He spends some time with her, but she's confused- as a result she is acting out and I feel I am truly trying my best to handle this in the most positive way I can..

    the nights are the worst..I feel so alone..

    I feel like a highschool girl who's best friend betrayed her..

  2. #2
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    Aww I'm sorry....the nights are hard....and things WILL get better. You will discover who you are alone, without anyone else and that is a GREAT thing to happen. You will learn so much about yourself!
    Try to keep busy at night, take up a hobby or interest!




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    Hugs I can't imagine.

  4. #4
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this

  5. #5
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    I like what lc01045 said, it will get better. big hugs to you and your little one

  6. #6
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    sorry to hear..it does get better as you allow yourself to heal. do you have an EAP thru work, benefits for psychology, or family doctor that is part of a family health team...I have been there and found it very helpful to get some counselling/advice for you and your daughter
    Mom to DS - 9.5 years old
    AND

  7. #7
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    HUGS C! I am here for you if you need to talk or just go out or to have time to yourself. We can watch E.

    You are a strong and beautiful woman and you deserve so much better. Remember that!

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    Big hug
    May the wind always be at your back

  9. #9
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    Sweetie, whether you're in highschool or 65 years old, if the person that you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with makes a different choice, you're going to feel betrayed and will grieve the loss.

    Give yourself permission to feel that and don't try to fill it with someone else because that will most likely end badly. I'm sorry that you're going through this right now and especially that your little girl has to deal with it. Remember that *all* of this will make you an even more amazing woman and a better mother.

    Hugs!!!

  10. #10
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    The nights are the worst.
    I coped with pillows... I filled the bed with them and didn't feel so alone. I read pretty well any kind of book until I passed out, and I always drank sleepy tea to help me get tired.
    I found doing a brisk walk for about an hour really helped tire me out too.
    The feelings are hard to process. When DD1 was 6months we went through something similar. She was so young it didn't really effect her since I was her primary person at that time. I can't imagine how hard it is with your DD being older.
    It is hard, I'm not going to say it's only a little hard, it can be REALLY hard at times, but it does get better. I can promise that it does get much better. There are many doors that this situation opened up for me, and I'm sure it'll open up doors for you too.
    I'd suggest maybe going through feelings with your DD. Let her openly talk to you, or someone she trusts, about her feelings. Venting and understanding are very important for children. She's frustrated so she acts out, it's understandable, but it may help if she's given an outlet. I'd reassure her and let her know it's okay to be mad, sad, and confused, or anything else she's feeling. She's old enough that she can process right actions and wrong ones. Maybe touching base about what is an 'appropriate' way to express anger or frustration verse a way that could cause her to get into trouble.
    Big hugs to you.

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    It is very hard and you will have good days and bad days....BUT it does get better and easier in a lot of ways in time. Acknowledge your feelings - it's okay to have them....a separation/divorce is like a death and you have to go through all the stages of grief - there will be days you are back to stage one. I found talking to family/friends, going to a counsellor and writing in a journal helped me cope. I also started running. It's been four years for me - there are days/nights I am still lonely especially when my children are with their Dad but do I miss him? NO - I am much happier without him and stronger for what I have been through and continue to go through. Please message me if you would like to chat....meet for a coffee it really helps to have friends or someone to talk to that has gone through a similar situation. Take care.

  12. #12
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    With the lies and cheating, sounds like some time for you may be a blessing. You don't deserve that. Hope today is a better day for you.
    Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

    ~ Breastfed for 7 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ~

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    *Hugs*


  14. #14
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    hugs, the ladies gave you some good advice
    Your life is a result of the choices you make, if you don't like your life it's time to start making better choices.

  15. #15
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    Hugs! It is soo hard! I remember those days. I moved when I found out about the cheating and the lies so I was in a totally different house/bed/atmosphere which I think helped a little. You are better off without the lies and cheating, if you want to chat feel free to PM me. Hugs!!!








    “life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away“

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