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    Default Help! Just caught my husband cheating - what do I do?

    Hi Ladies, A friend of mine suggested I come on here and ask for some advice. I just caught my husband cheating on me tonight and kicked him out. First thing on my to do list tomorrow morning is to call a divorce lawyer. Any recommendations for one? Also, any recommendations in general regarding things I should do to protect myself financially etc. I've just changed all our passwords. We shared EVERYTHING including bank accounts.

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    Hugs! I am so sorry! I don't have any advice at the moment other than get the finances seperate. I left my ex 5 years ago but we aren't divorced yet and when we do we won't be using a lawyer as we have already went to court for custody.
    Good luck








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    Hugs! I am so sorry! I don't have any advice at the moment other than get the finances seperate. I left my ex 5 years ago but we aren't divorced yet and when we do we won't be using a lawyer as we have already went to court for custody.
    Good luck








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    I have no advice but I just want to say I'm sorry you are going thru this.

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    I think you need to go to the court house and file for temporary custody of your kids (if you have them). Because otherwise he can just take them.
    "Anything is better than lies and deceit". Leo Tolstoy

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    Check out survivinginfidelity.com. I have seen this forum suggested multiple times in situations like these. There is a lot of information for you to real and follow. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

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    No advice - I'm so sorry this has happend to you!!
    *Hugs*


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    Go to the bank and open up a new personal account and take half of the money out of your joint account if you have one together. If you have a joint credit card have your name removed from it and/or see if you cancel it. If he is your beneficiary on any accounts, RRSPS, insurance have him removed and change it to your children or a different relative. Change the locks on the house if you don't want him being able to access the home without your knowledge. I used David Ashford at Jeffery and Associates as their firm allows you to pay as you go...not put down a $5000 retainer he is very nice. Let your children's school know of the situation so they are aware of what's going on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Annmomofboys View Post
    Change the locks on the house if you don't want him being able to access the home without your knowledge.
    I wouldn't do this. This is still his home too, and he has every entitlement to be there.


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    I believe until you have gotten a tempoorary order you can NOT change the locks. Or well you could but the police may make you let him in as it is still his house too regardless of his stupidity and jack butt behaviour. So just be careful .

    My first thought would be to speak to a lawyer. Find out what you really CAN and CAN NOT do. You can often get a consult quickly. Then follow their advice. It will be legal and sound

    If you have childrenget temporary custody right away. Like get to the courthouse today. Once you have custody do not prevent him from seeing the children if he is not a harm/threat to them because it will look badly on you later. If he is a harm well then you need to make sure you deal with that in your emergency order

    If you are closing accounts or taking funds do not take more than half. In the end it is just a pain and reflects badly on the one who is trying to cut off the other. If your paycheck is deposited to your joint account then open a personal one and get it dirrected there instead. You can always transfer money to help cover bills while you sort things out but it will help ensure you have control over your finances now.

    He is an ASS. It is simple as that. He sucks and there is absolutely NO excuses. That said in the case of a seperation and especially if children are involved it is better for you in the long run to not act on the hatred, hurt and emotions and do things as clean as you can. Get legal advice ... and get yourslef someone to tak to as well. Maybe speak with Women's Community House to see if they can set up or help you find cunselling for you. YOu will need an outlet for how much he has hurt you.

    Having said all of that.... big hugs. I am so so sorry you are facing this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annmomofboys View Post
    Go to the bank and open up a new personal account and take half of the money out of your joint account if you have one together. If you have a joint credit card have your name removed from it and/or see if you cancel it. If he is your beneficiary on any accounts, RRSPS, insurance have him removed and change it to your children or a different relative. Change the locks on the house if you don't want him being able to access the home without your knowledge. I used David Ashford at Jeffery and Associates as their firm allows you to pay as you go...not put down a $5000 retainer he is very nice. Let your children's school know of the situation so they are aware of what's going on.
    All this, except changing the locks. Technically you can't do that. You can, but he can call the cops to make you let him in. It's half his house. Personally, I probably would in your situation if I thought that he wouldn't have a fit and call the cops, or break a window to get in or something.
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    I hope when you caught him, you literally kicked him as you kicked him out. That's BS. Big hug. Sorry you are going through this.
    May the wind always be at your back

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    I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. It happened to me too - best thing that ever happened though as I look back...my life is tenfold better, and I have a real man now LOL

    So happens my husband (the real man not the ex) is a lawyer - you cannot change the locks or force him out - you would have to get a lawyer and obtain an emergency order for exclusive possession and custody. Then the fun begins - the seperation agreement.
    As other have said do NOT take more than half and do NOT stop him from seeing his kids.

    Good luck to you!!!
    Katie

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    I dont have anything to offer other than what already has been said, I just wanted to say I am so sorry you are going through this, but you seem strong and confident enough that I think you will do great! You have a good head on your shoulders, I can tell.

    Good luck with everything, and please post if you need anything for you or the kids (assuming you have some).

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    Thanks so much to everyone for their support, hugs and advice. Next question - what's the difference between a matrimonial lawer and a family law specialist lawyer? Anyone heard of Denis Burns or Thomas Bates?

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