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Thread: guilt

  1. #1
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
    Ivveyy's Avatar
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    Default guilt

    i have a lot of guilt ever since my grandmother passed away a few weeks ago.

    we hadnt seen her too much, i was afraid of getting her more sick (becuase of colds and what not) and then time just kinda got away on me. and i didnt see her for a few weeks before she passed. my grandfather mentioned at the funeral how he hadnt seen us in a while.

    honestly i think it was just so hard on me watching her get sicker and sicker and well i couldnt handle seeing her very well. but now i feel a lot of guilt, and i dont know what to do about that.
    jennifer mommy to 4 amazing kids!

  2. #2
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    You could write her a letter and take it to her grave and read it out loud.. that may help you to get some closure?

  3. #3
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    We had the same problem kind of. When my grandfather passed, none of us were speaking. He and my mom had an argument over something totally petty and we were forced to choose sides. We went months without talking, and this man literally raised us.

    He passed very suddenly and all we could think about was our guilt.

    But then we realized that there was nothing we could do about it. Things like this happen, and instead of feeling guilty we need to cherish the memories and be thankful for the time we did have.

    In your case it doesn't seem that you purposely went out of your way to not see her. I'm sure she understood you have a lot going on and sometimes it makes it difficult to see each other. Life is like that. She loved you all, and you all love her, and that's the only thing that matters. You have many memories, and made her time here all the more wonderful.

    ETA: I agree with Isis too. We actually recently did this, (yesterday) because it would have been my papas birthday. So I wrote a poem, and the girls wrote happy birthday notes, we called them our "letters to heaven" ans we sent them up with balloons. I took pics, o was actually going to create a thread about it. It is very helpful. To me its my reassurance that he knows I loved him.
    Last edited by quackinboots; 12-11-2012 at 02:50 PM.

  4. #4
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    BTDT. I regretted the time I wasted with my nana. It was hard. She had a stroke and it scared me to see her age suddenly. A year later she was gone and I was so mad that I had been so dumb... Actually her death was when I started having panic attacks. It was hard. No advice, just hugs.

  5. #5
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    Know that she is now at peace and would not want you to feel any guilt. I am sure she knows that you loved her very much.

    I lost my mom 3 and a half years ago. She was my everything! I cried on a regular basis because I missed her a lot. When I was planning my stag and doe we searched for anyone to give us donations to raffle. On kijiji I came across a medium who gave us a donation. So I thought with how much I was missing my Mom and coming up to a new chapter in my life I would go see her and get a session for myself and thank her for her donation. It was the best hour of my life! It was very healing and eye opening. I have not cried about missing my mom since.

    If you believe in that sort of thing it can be a great way to help get over your guilt. Many of my friends went to the medium too and thought she was great. If you are interested in it PM me and I can forward her info. It was very much like long island medium.
    Last edited by Kylee; 12-11-2012 at 03:37 PM.

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