View Poll Results: WWYD?

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  • Put him back in the shirt he came in to go home

    3 23.08%
  • Put him in a tshirt that fits him to go home give her the shirt tell her he is in one that fits

    6 46.15%
  • Put him in a tshirt that fits and throw away the ratty size 2 tshirt

    4 30.77%
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Thread: WWYD

  1. #1
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    Default WWYD

    The kids seem to always come with clothes that are 2 sizes too small. DH gets them as they get off the bus so they go to school in these clothes. DSS who is 4 is in a size 5 keeps coming over in a t shirt that is a size 2 his belly hangs out the bottom.

    We have tried to give the kids clothes that fit and are not all ratty but mom has expressed (through the kids as a messenger) that she doesn`t want anything we give them it is her job to buy them clothes because she has sole custody.
    Last edited by Kylee; 11-13-2012 at 09:01 AM.

  2. #2
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    document it, including taking pictures of kids in the clothes and of the clothing tags to use in court.

  3. #3
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    I think I would buy clothes at a thrift store, and say someone gave them to you as hand me downs. Would she take hand me downs? That way she wouldn't be mad about you going out and buying clothes. Just take all the tags off and throw them in a box, and act like you're just handing them on from a friend with older kids. At least that's what I would do. That sounds pretty sneaky now as I type it out though. I just feel bad for the kids. That will be so embarrassing soon if it isn't already.

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    My DSD stays with us all summer only and when her mom sent her up from Ohio she sent her with fleece PJ bottoms and clothes that barely fit her. I outfitted her with clothes that were a bit bigger but still fit and kept them here for next summer if she out grows them then I will buy her more. But last winter when we went down there about this time she was wearing a fall jacket and it was colder then it is now and when we asked her where her winter jacket was she said her zipper broke and her mom didnt want to spend the money. DF pay over $500 a month child support and her mom didnt want to spend the $25 we did to buy her a winter jacket? Where as I get nothing and do it on my own and my son has clothes ready for all seasons.

    Some people should not have custody IMO but you can only try to help them by talking to the kids but not about their mom just ask them what they would like I know my DS at age 4 loved having a choice of clothes.

    Like sittingpretty said document with pics everything and if you get them for a couple days then have clothes just for your house for those days



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  5. #5
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    I wouldn't get rid of the ratty tshirts, keep them, but don't send him back to her in them. Send him back in clothes that fit. As SP said, document it as well. Don't buy expensive clothes for him, just decent clothes that fit.

    Can you call his school and talk to his teacher? Maybe the teacher has noticed as well and has some ideas as to how to approach mom? Is there someone else who won't 'offend' her who can gift the kids clothes? I am not trying to advise you to be devious and sneaky, just creative.

  6. #6
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    Christmas presents this year should be clothes lol

  7. #7
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    They do get embarassed. Wed night visits are only 3 hours and DSD asks all the time if she can put on good clothes while she is at our place. They have far more clothes then they need at our house for the amount of time that they are here. We have tried to send home some of the extras. I like the idea of having someone else give them to her. Will have to see what I can come up with.

  8. #8
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    I just want to point out that my 9 year old DS who has a closet FULL of clean clothing that fit him, constantly wears a one pair of size 7 pants (wayyyy too small) and an old camp t-shirt (that looks dirty even after being washed repeatedly). I have to fight with him to get him to wear something better (he will dig through the laundry room garbage to get that stupid t-shirt - I've tried to throw it out numerous times).
    Sometimes - no matter how much you beg them, they don't dress “nicely“, and I for one, am not going to have an argument with my child every day before school about what he's wearing.

    Heck, all his back to school clothing still have tags on them.

  9. #9
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    My dd is 12 and still shows up at my place after a visit with her dad, in size 6x undies. Ones I bought her before I left my ex!!!

    I would throw out the small shirt and send him in something that fits. And she doesn't have sole custody if your hubby is getting visits, she may have physical custody lol

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by hockeymomof3 View Post
    My dd is 12 and still shows up at my place after a visit with her dad, in size 6x undies. Ones I bought her before I left my ex!!!

    I would throw out the small shirt and send him in something that fits. And she doesn't have sole custody if your hubby is getting visits, she may have physical custody lol
    lol I know that, DH knows that but telling her that is a different story she thinks DH has no right to talk to the kids teachers or drop off money at the school for the kids (have never pulled the kids from class or disturbed for a visit) I could go on for days!

    That would drive me nuts..... I do rotate the kids socks and underwear they go home in ones that aren`t nasty and come back in ones that are and they go in the garbage lol She hasn`t said anything yet but the clothes are driving me nuts want to start with those but I feel like she will have something to say about that.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by hockeymomof3 View Post
    And she doesn't have sole custody if your hubby is getting visits, she may have physical custody lol
    thats not true, you can have sole custody and the other parent just have access.

    all sole custody really means is they make all the decisions

    8. What is sole custody?

    Sole custody means that the child lives mainly with one parent, who also makes the major decisions about matters such as the child's education, religion and health care.

    When one parent has sole custody, the other parent normally has access. A parent with an order for access under the Divorce Act is entitled to spend time with the child. Unless the court orders otherwise, the parent is also entitled to ask for and be given information about the health, education and welfare of the child.
    Frequently Asked Questions - PARENTING ARRANGEMENTS (Custody and Access)

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    Can the washing machine eat the shirt? I wouldn't toss everything that's too small, just the worst of it. Or let them do something really messy and get it stained.

    I also like the idea of relatives giving them clothes as presents. A size too big.
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kylee View Post
    The kids seem to always come with clothes that are 2 sizes too small. DH gets them as they get off the bus so they go to school in these clothes. DSS who is 4 is in a size 5 keeps coming over in a t shirt that is a size 2 his belly hangs out the bottom.

    We have tried to give the kids clothes that fit and are not all ratty but mom has expressed (through the kids as a messenger) that she doesn`t want anything we give them it is her job to buy them clothes because she has sole custody.
    That's just ridiculous. Extra clothes are always a good thing to have, especially nice ones that fit. Sounds like someone is on a bit of a power trip.
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  14. #14
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    My ex does this with DD, and I found out it was because he knew she was coming Here and he didn't want to send her in good clothes and not get them back. Exes are so frustrating.

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    You can't fix “stupid“

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